


Flip of A Coin Away: The Smut Cut Edition

by HalcyonFrost



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Morality, Eventual dark!Tony Stark, M/M, Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase Two Divergent, Mentions of Sex, No Smut, Tony and Loki are man-whores for each other, Trust feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-10-15 05:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 85,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalcyonFrost/pseuds/HalcyonFrost
Summary: Tony has more than enough reasons to be bitter and distrusting of anyone and everyone - friends and lovers included. When Loki shows up at an opportune moment, he and Tony start up a relationship of solelybenefitsand no friendship that soon becomes a valuable escape from the pressures of Tony's team. Except things become less clear cut when Tony realizes their affair is the one of the few things he can trust when his life is in danger and his would-be killer remains faceless.  [Eventual dark!Tony fic](This is a censored version of a long explicit fic of mine! For those sex-averse or just wanting something SFW, all smutty details have been cut and kissing down to a minimum. For the full, explicit version, click the link inside over to the other version.)





	1. First Time's The Charm

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Flip of A Coin Away](https://archiveofourown.org/works/860429) by [HalcyonFrost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalcyonFrost/pseuds/HalcyonFrost). 



> I posed the question on my Tumblr of how best to censor the sex, and of the two responses, y'all both had different answers. XD So. I went at it from both directions. The majority will be fade to black where I can easily chop it off, but some scenes (since I occasionally wrote in sex scenes that did have dialogue and interactions integral to the plot) are going to be closer to the softest softcore dialed down to mentions of kissing. They will not be sexually explicit or detailed in terms of written actions.
> 
> Sorry for taking so long in finishing this! I'll edit and post up more chapters as I can work my way through them. Chapters 1-5 needed censoring, as will 10-13, but 6-9 will be straight from the original as the most romantically explicit scenes in those chapters are G-rated kisses.

Shit. _Shit. **Shit.**_

"J, give me the rundown." Tony glanced into the hall through the ajar door, but immediately sank back after seeing the approaching shadow.

 _"Unidentified intruder. Security cameras non-operational. Alarm disconnected. Internal and external sensors blocked. Power to suits lost. Connection to suits lost. All phone lines and means of communication have been blocked."_ JARVIS intoned to Tony's repressed groan. There was a short mechanical chirp from the AI, and JARVIS's voice held a concern that bordered on fear. _"Sir, someone was very thorough in cutting you off. Without the means to protect yourself or call on others, the enemy's attempt to corner you has proved successful."_ A pause followed. _"With even my redundancies deactivated, I have no other theory other than an inside job, sir."_

"Right." As quietly as possible, Tony pushed the door shut. His options weren't slim here, they were non-existent. No armor, no weapons, nothing on but the sweatpants he wore to bed, and nothing to fight with but whatever in the room he could throw. "How much time do I have?"

_"Estimated time to your discovery is forty seconds."_

Alright, scratch that, two options: beg for his life and hope that it would be spared or he could go out fighting. Hell, he was Tony Stark, he never begged. He would always go down swinging. Picking up a nearby chair, he shifted it in his hands a little to test the weight and heft of it to better accommodate his hold it in a way that he could smash it into bits over the bastard's back. If he died proving it, Tony was going to make sure people knew that you never crossed him and got away without a scratch. "Well then, Jarvis, it's been loads of fun. Don't hold dinner, okay, sweetie?"

_"I'll keep the scotch though, shall I?"_

Tony smirked. "Yeah, you do that."

Taking a deep breath, he gripped the chair just as the doorknob started to rattle. It cracked open and an ever-widening sliver of light striped the floor to steadily creep towards him. 

Heart pounding, he raised his weapon. 

The chair fell from his hands in a loud clatter as he was jerked backwards against a hard chest. A pale hand closed over his mouth and muffled his yelp of shock to frenzied breathing through his nose. Tony barely registered familiar emerald eyes staring back to him and a slender finger signaling silence just as the room flickered and dissolved away around them.

Tony stumbled away as soon as he could, pushing back from his captor with gasping breaths. The damage was done though; their surrounding scenery had changed for a lavish hotel suite complete with bar beyond the other man's back, a sizable couch and matching chairs behind Tony, and king-sized bed visible through a doorway some ten feet to Tony's left. All very lovely and all, but not where Tony wanted to be right now in a certain someone's company.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Loki's smugness split into offense at the aggressive outburst, but it took less than three seconds before he reformulated himself into a guarded look of false calm. He's dressed in his usual green and black leather - no surprise there - but no set of shiny bits and vambraces this time. Even without the brass hardware, he still looks every bit a god. "It would appear I just saved your life." He said.

"Who said I wanted _you_ to save me?" 

Loki took one step forward, eyes narrowing into a glare. "If my assistance is so unwelcome, then, by all means, don't let me hinder you."

He waved one hand as if to shoo Tony, and in the blink of an eye, Tony was standing back in his own bedroom, face to face with his intruder. One that looked surprisingly... human. Not that he could really be sure from the head-to-toe black gear, but they were human in shape, height, and in weapon choice. 

Oh, shit, the weapon. 

Apparently, not having someone be where they were supposed to had confused the intruder at first, but Tony was there now and once again left helpless as the figure in black raised a handgun aimed for Tony's head.

"Back, back, here is bad!" He stumbled away, tripping on the chair behind his legs, and falling back gracelessly. His eyes squinted shut to brace for the impact and the shot, but the bullet never came and the floor felt way too cushy to be his carpet. Eyes open and he was back in the hotel suite again - a comfy chair supporting him, no assassins threatening him, no guns at all. Just Loki sitting at the bar across the room, calmly pouring vodka into an already started unholy cocktail over what looked suspiciously like absinthe or Midori given the vivid green color of the liquid. A sorcerer was enough of a weapon himself though, so at the moment, Tony couldn't tell if he was safer here or not.

"I would not ask if you have learned your lesson now, Stark," Loki said, not even sparing him another glance, "but I trust you realize your situation." He turns his head to gaze at Tony, and his lips twitch upwards. "Yes?"

Tony grimaced and clenched his hands on the arms of the plushy armchair. "Yes. What you haven't said is why."

"Why not?" Loki shrugged and swirled the glass in his hand. "Perhaps I simply wanted to ruin someone's big day. Killing Iron Man is quite the feat in and off itself, but to dismantle his entire house and all of its security at the same time is something else entirely. Unlikely to happen once, impossible a second time once you realize the holes in your armor."

Tony scoffed, but somehow, he could see the sole reason of his rescue being to screw with someone else. How could he think any differently? "Alright, where am I?" 

The look of condescension from the god's head tilt spoke volumes. 

"Dear Stark, you mistake the plan." The bottom of the glass fit in the well of Loki's palm a bit too perfectly, and his fingers stretched nearly to the lip at the top. "What reason have I to tell you where you are? My only goal was to inconvenience your would-be killer. Any details beyond that are inconsequential."

"I'm not beliving that shit, you never have just one plot." Tony stood and walked closer. "I'm here, right here, for a reason. Otherwise you would have sent me some place where you weren't standing there waiting and let me sweat it out wondering what happened."

The smile that lit up Loki's face was pleased beyond decency. "Have you been studying me that much?"

"No. I know what I'd do." Tony couldn't help the grin from spreading to his face as well; it shouldn't have been as contagious as Loki made it.

"Yes, I suppose so..." Loki said. His eyes raked over Tony with relish and no attempts at subtlety; there were no two explanations for that look. Reaching over the bar with his free hand, Loki poured a glass of scotch and held it out for Tony as he took a sip of his own mixed drink. "A drink, Mr. Stark?"

Crossing the distance, Tony ended leaning against the bar on one elbow and taking the offered drink. He swirled the liquid in the glass for a moment but didn't drink any before setting it down on the counter. "I'm not exactly the type to trust a drink from a homicidal god."

Loki rolled his eyes, ignoring the "homicidal god" comment with far too much ease. "It would be an astounding waste of my time and energy - both of which you know to be incredibly precious to me - to save your life twice in one night only to poison you in a nameless hotel room ten minutes later."

The inventor shrugged. "You said you wanted to steal their day. One way to do that is never give them the chance by killing me yourself."

"Why defend your murder so? One might mistakenly assume you wish for it."

"I don't. Life is good. Much better than death. But life's also got too many mysteries at this point in time. I'd like to solve a few."

The god's glass was set down beside the outside of Tony's elbow with Loki's arm now resting atop Tony's lightly. "I wished for you to hold a debt with me. They are useful for a considerable number of things."

Tony's mind must have been playing tricks on him for some reason, and he would have blamed the break-in and murder attempt on seeing things, but the last near death experience he had didn't have him imagining the surrounding people flirting with him. Could this be considered flirting at all? It seemed more like a blatant come-on. Then again, he and Loki had been metaphorically fucking around on the battlefield for a while with the so much sass and the obscenely overt flirtations before someone else would stop them, so maybe this wasn't so out of left field. Still, actually _doing_ something about it was a different thing entirely. Tony had always flirted way more than he'd followed through. 

"You want a debt from someone you fight on a regular basis. You gonna call in your debt some time to stop a fight or let you go? Because that's not going to work for me."

"No. This is not a discussion between Loki, villainous demigod, and Anthony Stark, heroic Iron Man and savior of Midgard." Loki's free hand waved dismissively at the titles. "This is a discussion between Loki and Anthony, two beings of indiscriminate allegiances during current company. Your Avengers have nothing to do with this."

Yeaaah, really not helping Tony figure out the situation any better. "Any ideas in particular that come to mind?"

Loki stood, grin faded to a sly turn of the lips. "Oh, one is quite prominent in my forethoughts. And you have incurred two debts currently, you realize."

Naturally. Nothing was free in life. "I figured."

"Of course you did. I have taken a liking to your intellect, I must admit." His eyes fell to the arc reactor in Tony's chest as if it were incarnate of his brains. "A sharp wit and mind is a far greater treasure than a sharp blade. Not that I don't prefer both. Those willing to master both are rare beings to savor."

"Are you complimenting me, Loki?"

Their eyes met again. "I am catering to your prodigious ego, Stark."

Tony's smirk split into a smile of teeth for a few short seconds. All or nothing, in or out, go for the gold here. "Then you're seducing me."

Bright eyes of wide pupils flickered with delight. "It was my intent, yes."

And the crowd went wild. 

"Good." 

**xXx**

It probably should have raised some flags in Tony's brain when fucking around with the Avengers' biggest non-villainous antagonist still didn't even rate in the top ten most morally reprehensible things Tony had ever done. Inadvertently selling weapons to terrorists because he was too busy playing at being a playboy to pay attention to his own company, that did kind of take the cake, but Tony had turned it around in the some eight years since then. For the most part. Vices weren't easy to overcome. Tall deities with voices like velvet was a big, big temptation to one of Tony's most popular vices. And when Loki was persuasive with his mouth in more ways than one and knew how to tempt Tony the rest of the way into things he already had guilty fantasies of, well... it was a moment of weakness, but god help him, laying here beside said silvertongue, Tony didn’t regret a second.

It damned him even more when an offhanded compliment from Loki about the sounds Tony made spurred Tony's retort about getting Loki back "next time." It was mostly jokingly, but Loki must have understood that.

"We'll see." Tension gathered in the air, and Loki moved to Tony's side, propping up on one elbow to cast a serious look. Okay, maybe he didn't understand that it was a joke. "I feel it important to make note that nothing has changed in terms of... relationships."

"Relationships?" Damn, Loki wasn't actually bringing this up, was he? Tony shrugged a gave a carefree smile. "If I wanted a relationship, I would still be with Pepper. This? Between us? You're the sexy villain, I'm an appallingly handsome Avengers-" Loki rolled his eyes but smiled. "It's just a release. Even heroes need that sometimes."

Loki nodded and laid on his back again with a relaxing sigh. "I've grown tired of conventional relationships."

"No one said this had to be more than one night either." Tony offered. "There's this Midgardian tradition I've enjoyed, called a 'one night stand' that means no strings and no returns."

The god tilted his head and stared at the ceiling in thought. "A new partner every time?" Loki made a noise of disapproval after Tony nodded. "Sounds time-consuming." He shifted and turned on his side to face Tony. "And what if I simply kidnapped you again?"

Laughing, Tony leaned in to tease a spot on Loki's neck. "That's a fun thing called 'fuck buddies'. Also high on my accepted list."

Loki groaned and moved his lips to graze Tony's ear. "Mm, yes, I believe that sounds closer to my tastes."

"Well, you know where I am when you get bored causing mischief."

Loki protested weakly when Tony laid back again, but they both lacked the energy to do more right now. "Do you wish to return to your Avengers now?"

Tony made a face. "No. They've been getting stricter on me lately. 'Don't do this, just follow orders, be careful about all the trouble you're causing,' yada, yada. I'm always a liability or a loose cannon. It's nothing new, but somehow it's a problem now when they're being associated with me and all that shit."

Loki hummed thoughtfully. "Think twice when trusting them, Anthony. When one such as you is faced with those that would give anything to keep their beliefs safe, it could prove dangerous to you."

"You're giving me advice on who to trust?" It wasn't intended to come out so catty, but Tony couldn't hide his incredulity. 

But Loki merely fixed him with a look that implied Tony should shut up and stop interjecting his commentary where it wasn't wanted. "I'm merely cautioning you. If you're recall, it was less than an hour ago that someone broke into Stark Tower and nearly killed you." That sobered Tony up a bit. "How many have such access to your systems or are capable of forcing it?"

Shit. He really hated when villains had a point.

When Tony said nothing, Loki sighed and laid his head back down on the pillow. "Just be on guard. I'd hate to have you die on me so soon after you've proved your worth." 

"Thanks, Loks, feeling the love." Tony frowned at the ceiling before letting out a resigned sigh. "Guess it's suspicious if I don't show up somewhere."

"You are somewhere."

"Somewhere Pepper can find me, at least." Tony clarified. "I don't even have my phone. The last time I didn't have it or Jarvis was Afghanistan."

The bed shifted as Loki laid on his side again. "Teleportation is not conservative on magic consumption; yet I performed it three times in succession on you, and soon to be a fourth as well. If you insist on contradicting yourself out loud, I'd rather you have your internal battles elsewhere."

"I was trying to figure out what it was about you that was so attractive." Tony said without bothering to feel offended, "I figured it out: definitely that compassionate streak of yours."

Loki's glare was half-hearted at best and tired. "Is that all?"

"I have a few more, if you'd like."

"Not in the slightest. Good night, Stark." Turning over, Loki waved one hand, and just as Tony opened his mouth to protest, everything went crooked again, and he was standing at the mouth of an alley. At least Loki was thoughtful enough to send him clothed though even if it's just jeans, t-shirt, and shoes. Maybe Tony was "worth" it. 

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, Tony recognized the buildings as being a few streets over from Stark Tower. He'd need to get back in there and fix up the fucked systems, but he'd need an alibi for not being there when it was hit. Well, he could head over to a nearby bar and hang out there, pretend he hadn't been home when his systems were compromised. It was only four in the morning anyway. Maybe Pepper would even believe him, but even if she didn't, Stark Tower was not safe right now. 

His back pocket vibrated, and Tony was surprised to find his StarkPhone even though he could have sworn it wasn't there two minutes ago. Electronic text was scrawled across the screen in a font far more runic than any Tony was aware his phone was capable of, and all it said was _"you owe me another favor"_ in as ominous a tone as text could be. Two guesses on who sent that. Just as the text went away - no history of it in the logs either, Tony would discover later after trying to Loki annoying texts back - his phone rang, this time with an incoming call: Pepper. It was difficult lying to her; she was and always would be incredibly important to him, and hands down his favorite ex ever, mostly because his other exes were batshit crazy. Thank God being friends was easier than being romantic, and that was something they both had agreed on. But it still wasn't fun lying to a friend, ex-girlfriend or otherwise.

"Morning, Pep, kind of early for my wake up call, isn't it?"

There was a relieved sigh over the line. "I've been calling you for an hour, Tony. Jarvis sent me some half-garbled message that wasn't even complete, and then you wouldn't pick up the phone when I called!" She had to take a steadying breath, during which Tony really just wanted to thank her for caring. "Where have you been?" 

"Just the usual: ending world hunger, establishing peace in the Middle East, maybe I threw a few darts in a bar." 

There was a pause as Pepper formed her own words and completely ignored Tony's sarcasm. "Tony, Jarvis isn't connecting when I call."

He tried to sound surprised. "What do you mean 'not connecting'? Are you calling the right number?"

"I'm calling the same number that's been on my speed dial for years. _It isn't connecting._ Not a busy signal or anything, just a click and a dial tone. I think something's happened. You've been away from Stark Tower all night?" 

The moment of truth, and he had to use to it lie. How elaborate or evasive should he go? "Yeah, no, I left earlier. Unexpected, but I needed to get out for a little while." True enough but vague. It would have to do. Now that he wasn't the only one aware of the situation though, he would have to return to find the problem sooner rather than later. "I'm on my way back now. If you don't hear from me in half an hour, call Rhodey, scramble the national guard, and plant evidence on Nick Fury."

"Yes, Tony, I remember the protocol for what to do when you die." Pepper's dry monotone betrayed just how much patience she was exercising right now. "Now be serious. And be careful too." She admonished not indelicately. "In fact, just don't be yourself for a minute because we know where that leads." Lecture though it was, the words were said with affection, so Tony could only smile. 

"Advice taken, Miss Potts. I'll give the Cap a call; he can be my bodyguard. I have to check damage though, okay? Compromise?"

"Compromise." She ceded. "And call me as soon as you get there with Steve, okay? _As soon as you get there._ And keep me updated."

"Yes, boss, I won't forget. I'll call back in a few." A few short farewells later, he ended the call and dialed Steve next, who, unsurprisingly, wasn't too busy to drop by. The whole "get Steve Rogers accustomed to the 21st century" thing was a work-in-progress, but Tony kept catching the oddest feelings like Steve was really way farther ahead than he let on and just didn't bother showing it because it wasn't important. Tony himself had suggested a few pop culture reference origins for Steve to check out, and Steve had been making offhand comments related to them a couple weeks after. So maybe he wasn't as out-of-date. 

Within ten minutes, Steve met Tony on a street corner not too far from Stark Tower, and they walked another five minutes to his building. Steve readily agreed that Tony shouldn't be going in there alone and insisted on sticking by Tony's side the entire time. Tony didn't argue the point. 

Inside, everything looked fine on the surface except for a notable lack of life from no automatic lights to no cocky greeting from Jarvis. It felt cold without his children whirring away. 

"Cap, I'm enlisting you as my assistant, starting now. I need Jarvis back up as soon as possible."

Steve was no engineer, and Tony had to constantly reword himself into less technical terms or simply point out what needed to be done, but he took direction well, caught on faster than anticipated, and having a supersoldier around certainly helped with piece of mind when Steve made sarcastic comments and playful jibs about Tony's reliance on tech. Tony gave back as good as he got, but his mind was still half elsewhere and not even on sex right now. He still had no idea who was responsible for trying to kill him, and even seeing what had been done to his systems didn't provide any clues. It was a clean job - professional and fast with the only error being that Tony suddenly had a god that fancied his ass. Tony shouldn't have survived this attack, and the very thought that he might not have was as terrifying as it was enraging. 

Loki was right: this wasn't a one man thing; it was bigger. Someone wanted Tony dead very badly. The good part was that Loki fucked that plan up all to hell, and judging from the thoroughness of this job, it was going to be a while before they could attack again. Great measures were taken to preserve anonymity, and Tony knew well how difficult that was to arrange. Whoever it was certainly succeeded in destroying his sense of security though. 

Tony broached the subject with Steve, who agreed after a moment of consideration, that it was high time for the Avengers to get under one roof. Tony already had the floors all set up for everyone; it had just been a matter of if could they survive living with each other. Now Tony and Steve had to ask the question of whether they would survive living without each other. With their faces and their abilities public, any number of people wanted them dead or injured or out of the game. So the Avengers were put on the list of new occupants.

**xXx**

Sunrise heralded Bruce's arrival, and Steve got a break to sleep. Tony stayed thoroughly caffeinated and was onto his fifth cup of extra strong, extra bitter for extra kick cup of black brew by the time he and Bruce settled in to work on making Tony's security into something new and improved. This time, Tony knew the codes and Bruce knew the codes. Pepper was allotted a set all her own that provided her access wherever she needed to go and nowhere else. He trusted Pepper with his life, but he didn't trust that those codes wouldn't fall into the wrong hands by accident. Bruce was Bruce, and no one would be able to interrogate secrets from the Hulk, so his codes could access everything that Tony's could, in case of emergency. Steve, Clint, and Natasha were given codes that opened even less than Pepper's did. SHIELD was kept in the absolute dark, but Tony was sure Clint or Natasha wouldn't hesitate to turn over their own if they were asked to. 

Everyone had their own unique set so that Tony would know who came and who went. Jarvis' keypads secretly doubled as biometrics too, surreptitiously scanning fingerprints or DNA and matching them to those allowed inside, so Tony would know who was using what codes too or if they were using codes not their own. He would know everything. He had to know everything. There was no such thing as being too safe or too cautious now.


	2. Second Coming

"God damn it, Thor, electrocuting them is _not working_."

_"Stark, don't antagonize the thunder god."_

"Will I get any credit if he started it?"

Tony's patience had not worn thin; it had disappeared hours ago, about thirty minutes after they started this fight. Tony swore if he ever saw Loki again, he was going to kill the fucking bastard for this. One night of awesome sex and a couple weeks of kinky dreams be damned. After a while, he was tired of their encounters on the battlefield. Especially when the battlefield was New York City, and Tony frequently had to pay for the damages he incurred.

Contrary to the trickster god's opinion, setting a skeleton army on Central Park was not fun. Nor was making said army invisible. And making them _sometimes_ visible to the naked eye in intermittent and random bursts of suddenly having an opponent six inches away, conjuring and throwing flaming fastballs like a major league pitcher was just a steel-toed boot to the pants.

_"Stark..."_

" _Steve_ ," Tony returned the motherly tone, "I can't see the enemy to attack them if Thor's lighting up my screen. On top of that, they're _flaming skeletons_.I've already seen three get back up after the light show." Well, get back up and then disappear. Those things were fast. "You don't throw a power cable on a fire, do you? Never mind, I'm cutting out to find our Great and Asshole-ish Wizard. Break a leg, boys. And woman. Team." He added as a second thought.

Yep, Tony was going to kill Loki, and he would not regret it a single bit.

Getting some height on the smoking landscape, Tony tried to track down the trickster from the sky, all while dodging serves from the currently invisible enemies on the ground. He swore he keeps hearing a laugh from up high that definitely doesn't belong to any of the Avengers or the skeletons, so that left only one person. It took a couple near misses and one fireball that smacked him right in the middle of the helm before he caught sight of a familiar figure sitting on top of Belvedere Castle. Naturally, Loki was nearly doubled over into a ball from laughing so hard, and this only made Tony angrier.

"Loki." It's more a growl than Tony had intended it to be.

The god finally stopped laughing long enough to spare Tony a glance, and Loki smiled a wide and tooth-filled grin. "Found me, have you? Very good, Stark, I was wondering how long it would take." He stood up straight and held his arms out invitingly. "Well? No affectionate greeting? Come give us a kiss, lover."

Rage flared up in Tony and without a second's hesitation, he aimed a repulsor straight at Loki's chest and fired. It turned out to be rather anti-climatic when the clone dissipated in a flicker as soon as it was hit. All sounds of fighting behind him stopped abruptly too.

 _"Did someone find Loki?"_ Steve's voice came through clear and confused on the channel.

"You can thank me for that later," Tony said. Damn it, this was horrible for his blood pressure. "It was a clone. Loki was never here, just his tricks. _Again _. Is it just me or are his illusions getting a little more weight behind them than they used to?"__

_"A distraction,"_ Thor said none too helpfully. _"He would not go to such lengths if he was not here to witness his destruction."_

_"Great news."_ Even Clint sounded pissed now and Tony couldn't blame him. _"What now?"_

_"Back to headquarters."_ Steve set the orders. _"We'll find out Loki's intentions later. He must have gotten what he wanted by now."_

Much as everyone hated to admit since the lines went pretty quiet after that, they knew Steve and Thor both were right. There was a reason Loki wanted them here and busy and whatever he wanted, they had no chance of figuring it out or stopping it now. Six fucking hours gone to waste. 

Tired, singed, and smelling like a burnt beef roast, they all retired back to Stark Tower, now informally Avengers HQ, and tried to ignore this waste of a day ever happened. Unfortunately, SHIELD had a different idea, and Nick Fury was waiting for them in the common area of the communal floor. After mentally cursing whatever asshole gave Fury the codes, Tony noticed a folder in Fury's hand that was about as promising as the grimace on the director's face. Ever since JARVIS had been compromised last week, Fury had been treating Tony with even more distaste than usual, and Tony still hadn't figured out what was so annoying about his missed brush with death. 

"Robbery at the Museum of Natural History," Fury said, and Tony let out an audible groan as they settled in the chairs surrounding the round kitchen table. 

"Excuse me, but we just got back from a robbery. Loki stole six hours of our energy making us chase smoke." Oh, how he wished that wasn't so literal. 

"Well, that wasn't the only thing he stole, Mr. Stark." Opening the folder, he tossed it so that the photos inside spread out on the table top and got Tony wondering how many times Fury had to practice to get the perfect flip. Just that mental image lightened Tony's spirits more than it should have considering the situation. Inside the folder were enhanced surveillance shots of Loki - the real Loki, evidently - on his way into the museum and then other shots of him exiting amoung a crowd that looked they were racing out in a panic from the alarms that were probably blaring. 

"While you were fighting phantoms, an alarm went off in the Museum of Natural History's latest exhibit. Loki stole this." Fury separated out a few picture of an old book. It didn't look all that special; bound in aged animal hide, the book was thick and bulky, too old to decipher the faded writing on the front cover from the low quality picture that they were being provided with. 

"Then we have cause for worry." Thor said as his eyes set on the picture. "I remember seeing this as a child. This is a tome of great rumour in the darker parts of the realms. It's said to contain incantations and instructions for many spells for forbidden magics." His expression turned to faint confusion as he looked back to Fury. "This book is not of your realm. How did _you_ come by it?" 

"SHIELD is not at liberty to say," Fury answered cryptically, and Tony scoffed openly. "We weren't aware of its power until recently. The archaeologists that discovered it thought it was old Norse." To say that the director sounded irritated would have been an understatement. "We had intended to put it into safe keeping before someone like Loki could get their hands on it." 

"By entirely legal means, I'm sure. Only non-sanctioned thieves get their wrists slapped, right?" The inventor said. 

"More to the point, this is a very dangerous thing for Loki to have." Fury said archly. "He's gathering a few too many volatile artifacts to be considered a casual collector. These aren't things to display on his mantle, Stark, they are objects that SHIELD has been attempting to decrypt for longer than I'd care to admit. Our code breakers are nothing compared to a god that lives, breathes, and bleeds magic." 

"Loki bleeds the same as any Midgardian," Thor cut in, oblivious to Fury's meaning of the words, "but it is true that he is dangerous. He already holds the Casket of Ancient Winters, and I've heard sightings of him across the nine realms, collecting such treasures that would provide him great power. I fear he has a plan for these trinkets that is not favorable to us." 

"No shit, Fabio." 

Steve gave a glare for Tony's profanity, but didn't bother to comment on it. That was a cause he'd long ago resigned from schooling. "So how do we get it back from him? Any idea what he might be doing with it or where he went?" 

"We're blind. Loki's good at hiding his tracks." 

"There are many paths across the worlds. The Bifrost is the safest but is watched constantly. Loki knows of paths that even Heimdall cannot See." 

"Well, thanks for the help, Thor, and good going to SHIELD for letting us know Loki was across town while we were fighting ghosts and tricks." Tony stood to leave without permission and started to walk out. "If you lot have any more _helpful_ information, give me a call, hm? I'm going and doing something worth the time." 

There were several protests from a couple of the Avengers, but Tony didn't stick around to listen to them. After six hours of wasting his energy, he wasn't going to spend another two going back and forth exchanging useless information and claims and possibilities about the trickster god's latest plans. Bruce got it right the first time: Loki's mind was a bag of cats and trying to predict him or his motive was about as productive as throwing a coin in a fountain. You might get to feel like you accomplished something and hope your wishes/musings came true, but you were sorely disappointed in the end when it was inevitably wrong. 

Ten minutes earlier, sleep had sounded fantastic, but now his mind was too full to even try for any kind of productive sleep, so he retreated back home to his workshop instead. Thanks to those not-so-flimsy trick armies, Tony had quite a few more vents in his suit than it was designed to have. A couple of the leg pieces, he would have to remake completely, but at least the chest piece was salvageable, save a few dings that could be coaxed back into place. Tony didn't go through this many three-piece suits, and those were ripped off in frenzied attempts to get naked more often than not. 

**xXx**

Four hours and three thigh plates later, Tony propped his face in the palms of his hands and rubbed his eyes hard enough that he couldn't see the evidence of how much he should hate Loki. A hole, dent, or missing piece for every reason he should hate him, but Tony was chagrined to mentally admit that in truth, he really didn't hate him that much. 

**xXx**

_"Sir,"_ JARVIS spoke up and Tony raised his head from where he'd planted it on the worktop in exhaustion at some point in the past ten minutes to three hours. Time got a bit fuzzy down here. 

Wiping the drool from the side of his face, he propped his chin in one hand. "I had a good dream going, Jarv, what are you waking me up for?" 

_"Mr. Laufeyson stopped by."_

And there went whatever remnants of sleep he had left. "And? I didn't get a kiss goodbye?" 

_"He left a package upstairs. It appears to be addressed to you. Preliminary scans indicate it to be non-incendiary, but I've been unable to catalog all magic into my data thus far. Readings suggest something mystical in nature, but its purpose is indiscernible and does not match any previous recorded spells or enchantments."_

"Ah." Tony stood cautiously and debated for no more than a few seconds before heading upstairs. "Well, let's go poke it and see what happens, shall we?" 

_"Brilliant plan as usual, sir. I'll compose a message for Miss Potts in the event of your fiery demise."_ JARVIS said calmly as Tony came to the top of the steps and spotted the box waiting for him in plain view. The placing couldn't have been a mere coincidence; nothing Loki ever did was just a coincidence. 

The box was plain and square, nothing particularly extraordinary, made of plain wood stained so dark that it was nearly black, corners lighter from weather, intricate carvings along every surface, and a dark brass latch on the front. It was no bigger than Tony's hand with his palm spread out and only half as tall as it was wide. Really, the thing bordered on tiny. Yet it was something magical, and Loki thought it important enough to teleport here in the middle of the night and leave it. Suspicious to say the least.

There was a scrap of paper in the crack between the box and its lid with Tony's name written in what one could only assume was Loki's even lettering. There were a few words shrouded from view where the paper had been half-shoved inside the box. He tilted the lid open to retrieve the note, but as soon as he cracked the lid, there was a sharp flash of light that blinded everything for several terrifying moments, and when he could see, he was somewhere else entirely.

Blinking the spots from his eyes, he groaned a little, feeling neither box nor paper between his fingers anymore.

"Good, I was hoping you would be curious enough to open it. Can't resist the mystery, can you?"

That voice was no mystery though, and once Tony could focus again, his suspicions were confirmed at finding Loki standing in the nearby doorway, leaning casually against the trim of the threshhold and looking quite pleased with himself. He still wore his casual armor, fully suited up for battle, save the helmet.

"Mind telling me why you sent me a flash in a box? Or why a box at all when you could have just showed up beside me and saved us both the time?"

"Your disembodied servant would have alerted the other Avengers immediately had I appeared directly in front of you." His tone is incredulous as if this is common sense and Tony should be paying better attention. "So I had to lure you. I required practice on a few new spells as well."

Tony stole a quick survey of the dark room - lights off, queen-sized bed cloaked in slate blue sheets behind him, dark wood nightstands, filled bookcases lining one wall, a desk on the opposite wall, and a chest of drawers by the doorway. Through the open door behind Loki, he spotted the stolen tome on the living room coffee table, surrounded by other books, papers, and scrolls with only a small space on the sofa for someone to sit. A few unfamiliar talismans were strewn around too, so Loki must have been busy at work since the last few hours he'd had his new book of untold threat. Now it seemed his focus had shifted if the look in Loki's eyes was any indicator because even darkness didn't necessitate pupils being quite that wide.

"Good times." Tony resolutely didn't draw attention to the set up Loki had here. "Thanks for setting us on that wild goose chase while you stole reading material."

"I had need of the spells contained in its pages. I saw, I wanted, I took. But first, I had to make sure you were properly distracted." Loki laughed as Tony grit his teeth. "Though I didn't expect it to take your Avengers _seven hours_ to find my clone and-"

"It wasn't _seven hours_ ," he insisted.

"Oh?" A grin twisted thin lips. "No, of course not. My mistake. Six hours, forty-eight minutes, and twenty-three seconds before my clone was discovered. Is that more accurate?"

Tony scowled. "I'm going back. Hell if I know why I'm here in the first place, but I'd rather not hang around an evil ex-lover."

The god feigned a pout. " _Ex_ -lover? And when did we say that it was only to be one night?"

"No, _we_ didn't agree, but _I'm_ saying 'no' now. Have fun with Necronomicon there."

"Oh, come now, you don't truly mean to."

Bodily shoving past Loki, Tony's gaze flitted around for a proper door out of the apartment, eyes taking in all the fixtures absentmindedly in the meantime. For a former prince, the furnishings were sparse in number but every bit as grand as would be expected from a diva like Loki. It was an odd blend of modern and old trinkets fit for a god - deep brown leather sofa, two arm chairs indiscernible for the rich but mismatched green blankets that had been tossed over each of them, no television, and near-full length windows covered most of the far wall. The kitchen to the right of Tony was far more underutilized except for the island that looked to be covered in more books and papers in languages Tony couldn't even begin to recognize, let alone decipher.

Picking the door that looked most likely to be an exit, he made as straight a line for it with as much haste as he could without it seeming like he was running away. Because he was _not_ running away from Loki. A speedy retreat in order to maintain his physical and mental well-being was what he was doing. The options for the night were slim - Loki could still kill him for shits and giggles, or they could have another round of filthy, wrong sex that would fuel Tony's masturbatory fantasies for another several weeks. Not that he would regret sex with Loki, but it would be another secret he had to keep. He was already on uneven ground with the Avengers; he didn't need another dirty secret to hide from them. He'd already been curious enough to ask Thor if Asgard had the equivalent of condoms up there (since Loki obviously had earth ones from the looks of them), and all a lot of explanation, Tony got the answer that Asgard didn't do condoms because they apparently didn't have STDs. A lot of confusion on Tony's part that couldn't be suitably explained by Thor, it pretty much boiled down to those things just not existing up there. Surely Thor of all people would know considering his adventures too, so Tony pretty much trusted that. Still. It was an interesting conversation to have "out of the blue" and "for no reason" and really, it did make Tony think about his life choices. Life choices mostly being sex with Loki, and now whether or not he should stay here for possibly more of it. 

Death still had a high chance of becoming reality though, so hateful as it was to walk out, Tony preferred to stay alive instead. Hell, he didn't even know where he was right now, and that was a very bad thing. Not to mention that he was still fucking _pissed_ about this afternoon.

All he managed was grabbing the knob and opening the door a half an inch before Loki's hand appeared and shoved it shut with ease despite Tony pulling on the door with all his strength. He didn't have time to fuss before Loki's nose brushed against the back of his ear and warm breath puffed across his throat. "I brought you here for a reason, Anthony. Just like the last time."

"Look, I don't have time to play fuck games with you right now." His voice came out sounding a lot steadier than he thought he would. "Thanks to your fun, new minions, I've got a few dozen extra vents in my armor that aren't supposed to be there. Now if you don't mind-"

"Oh, but I _do_ mind." Loki grabbed Tony's shoulders and spun him around, pinning the inventor to the very door he attempted to escape from.

"And I don't care." Tony said. "Now send me back or let me go."

"I have every intention of sending you back. In one, living, breathing, satisfied piece even."

"Loki-"

"It is your turn, after all." Loki said, and his tone gave Tony pause. Turn? Turn for what?

"My turn?"

"I took you last time after you won that invidious battle that nearly resulted in my capture." The god's expression twisted into a grimace aimed at himself, and Tony couldn't help but smirk that little bit. "Then I saved your life, and you came to owe me favors. It is only fair that as I prevailed in this round, I should extend the courtesy to you now."

Extend the-

Oh.

_Oh._

Well then. "I'm listening."

"Must I spell it out for you further?"

"No, I just want to hear you say it. You're not just inviting me _into_ bed, you're inviting me _to bed._ To bed _you._ "

"Yes."

Tony grinned. "So say it."

Loki sighed heavily but smiled nonetheless as he leaned in closer to speak against Tony's lips. "I want you to take me to bed and wrap yourself in my sheets, to feel the might of a god in more ways than you've experienced before, and I want it _now._ What do you say?"

Dry mouth had set in before all that, but now Tony's tongue was kind of stuck on how many ways he could say "yes" without sounding eager enough to show his hand. Maybe he could postpone suit fixes for now in favor of a more gratifying prospect. He could go home and feel like a god after repairing a suit that had sustained nearly irreparable damage, or he could do that later after he'd fucked a god. Was the choice really all that hard? He had other suits anyway, so there was no priority on fixing that particular Mark. But he still had to open his mouth and say something to that effect.

Apparently Loki could read it on Tony's face anyway though, and when Loki leaned in to brush their lips together in an almost kiss, Tony had to debate if he was going to regret a second time or not.

**xXx**

If only magic could be to blame for Tony's life choices. Unfortunately, second time left the same pleasantly heady and completely unremorseful feeling as the first.

"Why do I get the feeling you won this too?" Tony murmured against Loki's shoulder. 

A breathy scoff displaced Tony's hair just before Loki pressed a lazy kiss to the inventor's temple. "I'll remind you that you came first and not bother to dignify the rest with an answer. I'll assume the benefits fell in both of our favors." He coaxed Tony's face up in another kiss that would have gotten him hard in an instant if he hadn't spent six freaking hours in an exhaustive battle earlier in the day, which was, again, also Loki's fault. Breaking the kiss, Loki untangled himself to unceremoniously slump back onto the mattress between Tony's legs. His breathing was evening out slowly as he stretched and unfolded his legs on either side of Tony's torso, and Tony had to mentally scoff over the irony of being trapped between Loki's legs and doing nothing to stop it because well... he did kind of like it here. "I'll regret sending you back tonight." Loki hummed contentedly, open and satisfied. 

Tony grinned and ran his hands down the long legs draping themselves across his own. "Well, don't get too affectionate on me, honey."

One foot trailed up Tony's side and set itself flat against the headboard above Tony's shoulder. "I'll leave sentiment for another poor soul to suffer."

"It's not all that bad. Getting attached?" He turned his head to place a light kiss against the god's ankle. "I've got a few that are worth it. Keep me as me. Keep me from being a little _too_ me. We are the company we keep, after all."

"And what does keeping company with me say about you?" Loki questioned, and Tony glanced up to see genuine curiosity in the trickster's face.

"Means I know how to pick 'em. And that I only the pick the best."

And that was the right answer. Loki's resulting grin was wide enough to make the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkle in mirth, and Tony felt quite proud indeed to have caused that face. His lover had a stunning smile. 

"Charmer." Loki chided lightly.

"At your service," Tony left another suggestive kiss for emphasis. Loki's pupils started to dilate again.

"So question:" he started conversationally as his palms smoothed along the pale skin, "the whole god-like stamina thing..." Loki's eyes lit up with interest and renewed lust. "Any truth to that or is it myth?"

"I'm not with mortals often enough to compare our refractory periods." 

Tony placed a soft kiss to the side of Loki's calf and another at the inside bend of his knee. No tongue, no groping or rushing, just lingering little pecks to warm skin. Like worship. Tony wasn't the religious type, but Loki was an altar that Tony would be glad to kneel before and pledge himself to serve. So he closed his eyes and did just that - adjusted to sit on his own legs and set his mouth on the path to serve. 

Ten minutes later, Tony was crawling his way up Loki's sprawled form, both of them breathless all over again as Tony settled with his chin notched above Loki's collarbone. Warm hands rested on Tony’s hips, as Loki put his mouth beside Tony's ear. "Maybe I _should_ keep you here."

"You couldn't afford all my services." Was his voice actually hoarse? Damn. Been a while since he tested his capabilities with a male partner. He was going to be sore in the morning, if he didn't just go ahead and fake laryngitis just to avoid the questions. 

"I'm sure I could find a way to repay you." Loki purred.

" _Whoa there._ " Tony stopped the hand trying to sneak between his legs. "I'm not quite that young anymore. A little while longer still before I have another round in me."

Loki pouted a bit but stopped. "I suppose I'll have to learn to live with it. Until I can remedy the problem."

”Uh-uh, no non-consensual magic in bed." Tony grabbed and pinned both of Loki's hands to the bed over their heads and gave the god a hard look. 

Loki was unperturbed. "You realize I don't require contact for casting." 

"And you realize I can walk out of here and call up the Avengers on you." 

"The confession would hurt you far more than it would hurt me."

"Not if I hand over your magic box and tattle about all the stuff I glimpsed in your _study room_." Tony returned. 

He was regarded through narrow eyes, Loki silently questioning how serious the words were. "Very well." Loki gave in. "No untoward spells."

”None at all without express consent."

Loki smirked. "No spells against your will, on or around your person." He agreed. "Excepting during an open battle, of course." 

”Of course." That went without saying, really. "So agreed." Releasing him, Tony moved back to sit propped up against the headboard. 

Loki pulled himself up to his elbows to better watch Tony as he was adjusting himself to get comfortable. "I take it that you still consent to our... arrangement?"

"Or give up mind-blowing sex? I'll vote to keep this going, thanks." He grinned. "I'll keep on avenging your mischief too, right? Seems like neither one of us is giving up that either."

"I have plans I'm not willing to cede even for the sake of your flesh, dear Anthony." 

”Hey, no offense taken. We taste of the temptation, we do not let it lead us." Tony could wax poetic pretty well while making excuses for sex. "As long as I'm in good straits with the good guys, I'll be keeping to my side of the fence anyway." 

”Ah, yes, your Avengers." Loki rolled his eyes, his mouth curled with the distaste of saying the word. "Did you discover your would-be assassin's identity yet?" 

"No." Tony growled. "And that not only pisses me off, but makes me more suspicious too. I like knowing who wants me dead."

”The only knowledge I can share is to keep your eyes open to all possibilities. I'm sure you're well aware how many directions enemies can appear from."

”You telling me to suspect you, babe?"

Loki scoffed but smiled fondly all the same. "I'd be disappointed if you didn't. Nonetheless, I wasn't responsible for the assault on your tower."

"Somehow, that's not as comforting as it should be." Loki raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak, but Tony cut him off. "At least if it were you, I'd know and could deal accordingly. But I don't know. It could be Hydra trying to kill me. It could be Russian spies, but the point is that I will always go for the enemy I know versus the one that I don't. And when the one I don't is the one that was less than a minute away from killing me... well, that's just shit luck."

"Instead you're bedding the enemy you know in distraction of fearing the enemy whose identity you are not aware of. Your self-preservation strategies are truly frightening, I'll have you know. Perhaps it would be safer to keep you as my pet." The bed shifted as Loki moved to sit beside Tony with all the grace of a wound gazelle, and that alone had Tony chuckling a bit.

"People have tried to keep me before. Didn't work out so well." He tapped the reactor pointedly.

Loki considered the metal circle and teased: "I'd keep you much better than they would."

Tony grinned. "Sorry, honey."

"Your choice. I'd rather have you want to stay." Loki leered. "It would make your feigned struggles all the more enjoyable."

Maybe in his youth, Tony would have considered it, but bondage nowadays... Yeah, not so much his style. But the offer was appreciated? 

Stretching his arms, Loki climbed out of bed with a small exhale, clothes appearing back on his body in a golden mist. Handy trick. 

"Leaving already, lover?"

"I have work to do. You have a tower to return to." Loki leaned in for a short kiss that turned longer when Tony slid a hand around the back of Loki's neck and tried to surreptitiously pull him back down. It took a hand to Tony's chest to gently push him back and break the kiss. "Before they can bring about a manhunt in your honor."

"Don't wanna go back yet." Tony pouted petulantly. 

"Then sleep, if you'd like." Loki scoffed as Tony groaned louder and dropped his head back like a dead-weight. "Shall I send you back early then if you're going to start throwing fits?" He threatened but playfully and with his usual slight grin that said he knew exactly what Tony would say.

"I'll stay."

"As I thought. So sleep."

Tony slid under the covers as Loki went back into the living room, sitting in view of Tony's position in bed, though the god's focus was on the books instead. Exhaustion caught up with Tony now that he had a cushy bed, making drifting off far too easy. Loki was quiet in the next room, silence only disturbed by the occasional murmur of unintelligible words or a crackle of magic that Tony probably wasn't supposed to be observing anyway. It was surprisingly soothing, and despite his better judgment and intentions, Tony had fallen asleep without even realizing it.

**xXx**

There was a sun shining on his eyelids where there shouldn't have been. When he opened his eyes, daylight stared back at Tony curled up in his own bed. Apparently Loki had already decided the whole "no magic without express consent" thing was a bore. At least he didn't have to worry about the Avengers looking for him though. 

"Jarvis? You napping on me?"

_"You'd hardly allow it, sir."_

"What time did I get back last night? Or... this morning?"

_"You appeared fully clothed in your bedroom, approximately three hours after your disappearance."_

"Were the Avengers alerted?"

_"No, sir. It seemed premature as the previous occasion Mr. Laufeyson kidnapped you was to save your life and return you safely."_

"You know I love it when you think outside the box, Jarv."

Tony sat up with a yawn, stretching his back out a little with a sleep groan. The high sun told him it was late in the morning before he even glanced at the clock for confirmation, and if those weren't enough, his phone started ringing on top of it all. "Not in the mood." He growled a little and climbed out of bed as he scratched his stomach and headed for the kitchen to get something as close to resembling breakfast as Tony ever had. Contrary to everything else, it was simple toast and jam, something fast he could eat on his way back to the workshop. He did have repairs to do, after all.

On his way, he spotted the magic box still sitting in view of the stairwell. He paused a moment to consider logistics and how likely it would have been that Loki would make it work a second time despite the risks inherent in that. It had done its duty already anyway, so he picked up the trinket after making sure it was securely closed and carried it down to the shop with him. Others did occasionally pop in here, so he couldn't put it anywhere too obvious, but it did look quite inconspicuous tucked onto the top of a shelf. Maybe he would brave tinkering around with it again at some point.

As expected, the armor was still waiting for him in the same place he had left them the night before. A night of screwing around really hadn't helped his despair at the amount of work needed to fix it all. He had backup suits, so that wasn't the issue, but he still wanted to mend this one. Scrapping another model was going to kill his morale.

Damn Loki.

Damn him and his spells.

Damn his skeleton armies, his laughing clones, and how gorgeous he looked when completely wrecked after sex. No, not just after sex, after sex with _Tony_. It's the thought that _he's_ the one making Loki look like that that's so appealing. 

This... this relationship, agreement, debacle, whatever it was that they had, was unhealthy and dangerous. It was going to blow up in their faces, and someone was going to find out about their affair too soon. Tony knew it was bad, and yet he knew he wasn't going to stop it either because this was electric. It was thrilling and exotic, and if there was anything that Tony could not live without, it was danger. He stopped manufacturing weapons to sell, sure, but he just put all that weapons technology into Iron Man suits instead and used it to fly around the world fighting villains.

This was not anything that he was going to stop of his own free will, and really, that was fine. Who else could say that they were a genius, billionaire, and the lover of a god? That was the stuff that would go on his tombstone even if he had to bargain with Loki to make it happen. That would be a hell of a way to break the news to the Avengers.

Loki was right. Tony's self-preservation strategies were pretty damn crappy.


	3. In Too Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleeping with a villainous god is a dangerous game, but there's no way in hell that Tony is going to stop playing. As long as it's kept as strictly sex, and in a place none of the Avengers can walk in. Well.... Maybe just the former is required.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly more softcore in spots as there was a lot of dialogue in between as well, but the very explicit section is still cut out. Contains kissing and mentions of hands moving around, but this one is more PG-13 than PG, admittedly.

Talisman... Something that ancient looking shouldn't be in the grass by Tony's head.

 _"Stark!"_ There it was. Thor knew what was up. Hopefully. _"A token should be near you! Find it and hide it!"_

Tony got as far as picking it up before a green blast threw him back against a tree and knocked the thing from his hand. An out of breath Loki snatched it from the ground this time, blood running down his right temple and more damn near streaming from his nose to drip from his chin and further sully discolored armor. "Do not interfere." He growled.

"I don't listen to you out here, babe." The flight stabilizers on his feet were malfunctioning, but the repulsors on his hands were perfectly fine for sending a return hit to Loki's back in revenge of that whole eldritch blast business.

The talisman fell several yards away again, and Tony raced for it, but so did Loki and the approaching Thor. Two feet away from reaching it, emerald magic flared up around it, blinding all three men and tossing them backwards. Tony leveled an accusatory glare at Loki, but the god looked just as shocked as the two Avengers did. The flame died down, and there in all her venomous grace stood Amora with the goddamn talisman in her hand.

She smiled, tossing it up in the air to catch it again. "Looking for something?"

"Amora, give it to me." Loki started, pulling himself up to a crouch.

She glanced over the talisman and apparently recognized it for how she tutted and stepped back quickly. "No, I don't think so."

"Amora, please. Let me have the token." Thor cut in. Way to use the puppy dog eyes on a sorceress with a crush on you too. Good going, Thor. Amora actually hesitated in consideration for that look.

"Sorry, love." She pouted, tightening her hold on the talisman. "I'm afraid this bit of pretty is staying with me. Ta." Another horrible smile from her, three yells and dives from the three men, and Amora vanished. They all collapsed nearly on top of each other where Amora used to be, but Loki was the first to jerk himself away.

"Fools!" He hissed and drew himself up, his own magic swallowing him whole and disappearing.

"God, I hate magic." Tony complained. "Did we even win?"

"Loki does not have it now, but it is no better in the hands of Enchantress." Thor didn't look too happy about it either.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Shit. Steve?"

_"What's going on?"_

"Good news: Loki's gone, and he doesn't have the talisman."

_"But?"_

"Buuut bad news: we don't have it either. Amora showed up too, just FYI, and took the doohickey for herself."

"I tried to stop her." Thor added solemnly and really? Was he just a puppy in the body of a 6'4" deity?

Tony patted him on the back. "We know you did, buddy. It was a good try. Really took one for the team."

 _"That's horrible and all, but Tony, could you got over to Sixth?"_ Natasha intercepted. _"Hulk refuses to size down for me. This bear's been poked a bit too hard a dozen too many times."_

"Sure, I'll be there in five. Thor, do you mind?"

Nodding, Thor pulled Tony in to his side, and swung his hammer to prepare for flight.

**xXx**

One hour and one de-Hulking (it took reminding Hulk that he wasn't allowed into the lab until he was Banner-sized again) later, everyone was back at the Tower and shuffling back to their respective floors. The debriefing had been short due to no pep talks for winning or losing and a minor lecture about letting another villain literally steal it from under their noses not being a suitable alternative to keeping it away from Loki's hands. Tony tuned out most of it before continuing on his happy way to solitude and a shower.

How long before Loki showed up this time? Tonight? Tomorrow? Not at all? Loki likely wouldn't submit since he hadn't won, but Tony didn't win either, so Tony wouldn't be submitting unless he wanted to. They didn't really discuss a whole lot of details other than agreeing to occasionally fuck around when they felt like it, thereby leaving a conundrum where Tony didn't know what to expect in this particular situation. It had only been about twelve days or so since last time - Tony didn't keep track; there was a counter that kept track of time between Loki's attacks, and Jarvis kept it in the upper corner of a screen dedicated to running lists of Loki's mischief and theories as to how it was all connected - so they could just as easily leave it alone tonight and not do a thing. Not knowing was the frustrating part more than not seeing Loki.

Clothing was shed on his pass through the bedroom, bathroom door was shut behind him, and then blessed silence reigned. It wouldn't last, and contrary to popular belief, he didn't want it to, but escape was mandatory every once in a while. Jarvis turned the shower on - three of the five shower-heads, at least - as Tony checked himself over in the mirror, poking red marks and taking in deep breaths to check for any signs of internal injuries, but nothing aside from a few tender subdermal bruises made themselves known. Any time Tony didn't need a hospital after a battle was certainly a positive, but there was still the matter of fixing whatever was fucked up with the suit. The boots shouldn't have shorted out; the mechanics were well-greased with no edges or odd joints to catch the wiring on the inside, but something went wrong. Being his own beta tester for revolutionary technology was a rough job. Pairing the flexibility of thin plating while still keeping durability was a running problem as opponents adjusted their attacks to work against the armor's weaknesses - because there were weaknesses, like it or not - and Tony just had to deal with it by making the next one better. That was an inventor's goal in life, just as it was a mechanic's to make things work again, and Tony just happened to work both jobs.

Satisfied that any tasks that needed doing could wait, he stepped into the glass enclosure and pulled the watertight door shut. Steam filled up the shower quickly as he ducked right under the rain-like stream of water from the overhead nozzle while the two nozzles on one side wall sprayed over his arms and back. The space was twice as long side-to-side as it was front to back, plenty of room to comfortably wash off while also being big enough that inviting guests was an option. Inviting guests _always_ had to be option; though it was just him more often than not these past few years.

After going through the short and perfunctory acts of washing his hair and body, he leaned his forehead on the black tile of the back wall, trying to ease the tension away with near scalding water temperatures, but it was refusing to leave. His mind was too full of anything but useless fretting and not enough productive thoughts. Yet another day as an Avenger, another suit to tinker with, and another failure to catch the bad guy - bad woman as the case was this day. He could work on the suit after showering, and that was going to be at least another forty-five minutes if he gave into the little voice in his head that was telling him to turn off the shower and sink into a bath instead. If Loki wasn't showing up, Tony would have to take care of himself. Maybe. Then again, maybe he would just clean up, go to bed, and sleep. It was just one of those days.

"Your tension couldn't be my fault, could it?"

Well, speak of the devil.

Cold fingers raised goose bumps as a palm settled against the curvature of Tony's left hip while Loki's right hand made its intentions known by trailing below the metaphorical belt. Neutral though Tony was at the moment, with how Loki curled about him, Tony wouldn't stay indifferent to their positioning for long.

"Why would it be your fault? You only got me into a fight that broke another suit. Those things aren't cheap to make, you know, and that mark was fresh out of the shop. Just going to have to make a new one entirely." He sounded more tired than anything, no anger, or even irritation in his tone. Loki on the other hand...

"You weren't the only one disappointed, Stark."

Was it supposed to be a good thing or bad thing that Tony had become familiar enough to register the sound of a scowl in Loki's voice? Good for him that he knew, bad for his stance as a hero that he was on such terms with one of SHIELD's most sought after villains.

"I lost the artifact I was attempting to procure. The window to steal it was narrow, and now it will be even more so."

"What was the artifact for?" Already knowing what the answer would be, he asked anyway.

"Stark..." And that was the answer he was expecting. "I don't question your team's plans and strategies. I'd prefer to keep them out of this."

"What, don't like thinking of my team, the team of your brother when you're about to get - okay, ow, _ow_ , nails don't belong there!"

"Then don't mention my brother when I'm attempting to seduce you." Loki snapped.

"I'm already seduced. Notice the lack of fighting? That's the mark of an already seduced man. Also a very tired one." He hesitated to add the last part, but Tony was only mortal and did not have the recovery power of a god in any way, shape, form, or fashion. "Much as I'd love to fuck around and despite how very tempting as your suggestion is - and I do know what you're suggesting - I don't have the, ah..." Loki's hand shifted. "Don't have the..." Fuck, it's hard to focus when Loki was so good at distraction. "Don't have the stamina for sex right now." He finally managed in one breath after a few stuttered starts and stops. Sex with Loki was energetic, no matter who topped whom, and Tony did not have that kind of energy at the moment.

"Neither do I, but pinning you to the wall or bending you over your counter is not the only way to find release. Other methods can be just as satisfactory."

"What, this is just an obligatory hand job then?"

Loki chuckled. "My own way of - what is the phrase? - 'clearing the air between us'? Yes. It makes us both more amenable in the future. And you looked so dreadfully taut just now that I couldn't resist."

"I'm supposed to be resisting you a lot more right now." Tony shuddered and one of his hands found its way of its own accord to hold onto Loki's hip. He wanted; _god_ , he wanted, but this wasn't Loki's apartment or some hotel room. This was Avengers HQ, and Loki's brother was only two floors away.

Loki hummed. "You're tired enough already, Anthony; you needn't strain yourself more by worrying about what you're 'supposed' to do."

Tony wasn't in the mood for moral wish-washing anyway, and Loki's hands were too skilled. "Fine, screw it. Being the good hero all the time is too draining." Tall, pale gods of sex on legs and little redeeming virtue didn't offer their bed to good heroes. He relaxed his shoulders back against Loki's pectorals, throat bared, accepting the god's ministrations on his cock.

"Mmm, I knew you were my favorite."

"Now you're just buttering me up. Get to work, peasant." Tony smirked and laned his head back to accept Loki's lips on Tony's shoulder.

"You should tell the voice in your walls to lock the doors. Anyone could walk in right now. We could be discovered like this, post-battle and wrapped together scandalously..."

Tony considered for a long moment.

"Jarvis, keep doors _unlocked_ for now. Just give us a warning if one or more of the Avengers comes knocking."

_"As you wish, sir."_

Loki rewarded him well as he pulled Tony further under the shower nozzles. 

**xXx**

So it turned out Loki was a possessive bastard. Maybe it shouldn't have been surprising, but Tony was still caught off guard when the question came up in the middle of some prime dirty talk. Apparently Tony satisfied Loki by confessing that he only had enough time to do this with Loki because Loki made Tony make time and because he wanted Loki there. Saying it out loud was even more damning than thinking it. Tony _wanted_ Loki like this and right here. Tony knew it wasn't going to end well, and he did it anyway. Just like Loki had proposed that first night, right here, between them in private like this, heroes and villains and saving the world had nothing to do with this, and Tony craved it. 

Loki might tease about Tony inviting chance really being an attempt to sabotage his partnership with the Avengers, but Tony didn't have to actively sabotage for things to be on shaky ground. They worked well together in battle, but when they didn't have an enemy they were focusing on fighting, hissing and arguing turned inwards in their group. With the exception of Bruce, everyone was acting shifty towards not only Tony, but each other too. There were a few times when they all managed to get hungry at the same time and ate together, actually became the joking team that they were supposed- that they _wanted_ to be, but Tony almost hated those nights more because it didn't last like it was supposed to. 

_Because replacing a team with Loki is really all that much better. Think again, Tony. This isn't going to end well._

He shoved the bitterness back and refocused on Loki. Fuck his inner voice.

. While not even half as exuberant as the whole shebang of sex, this was still suitably exhausting piled on top of the rest of Tony's day, and he found himself leaning on Loki's chest probably a little more than was necessary. Loki still ran his fingers through Tony's hair, almost affectionate. If the treatment had extended beyond these bouts of sex and making out, Tony might have believed it, but he settled on the idea of Loki just being possessive about things he considered his. Apparently Tony now fell under that category.

Finally, he looked up at the face he hadn't seen since it was bloodied up two hours ago, and well... it hadn't changed much. The shower had washed a lot of it off, but there was still some crusted blood along his hairline and closed cuts that were swollen slightly around the site.

And that was just the injuries on his face. The rest of Loki's body had been covered with armor, therefore left with a few scattered bruises and no blood, but he still looked like hell.

"I can't believe you gave me a hand job looking like that." Tony remarked only half-jokingly and touched near a cut on Loki's cheek that was incredibly fresh. "Don't remember that from earlier."

"I chased Amora in an attempt to regain my trinket. I failed."

"Yeah, I see that. Win some, lose some."

Loki's eyes narrowed, but the glare was feeble in comparison to his usual death stares.

"Don't give me that, we both have lost all over the place. To each other, to other people, to ourselves-"

"Yes, I'm quite aware of all my losses, thank you." He snapped.

" _But_ we're not talking about that right now. Right now, you're in my shower, I'm dozy on endorphins, and you need a cleaning. And look at that! How convenient our location is. Get under here." He pulled Loki off the wall they had been leaning on and back under the water before Tony grabbed the bottle of shampoo from nearby. "Any open cuts?"

"No..." Loki still looked suspicious despite how self-explanatory Tony's actions were. Genius though he was, he didn't poison his hair products on the off chance that his enemies would ambush him in the shower, and he couldn't fashion any sorts of restraints from the surrounding supplies without being exceptionally obvious and easy to stop, so Loki had nothing to worry about.

"Then come here and let me wash your hair before it starts making animal shapes." Well, too late for that, really, but he was in need of a wash was the point. Squirting a generous dollop of shampoo into one palm, Tony rubbed his hands together a little, then stood on his toes to rub it into Loki's hair. Well, _tried_ to rub it into the scalp of a god some six inches taller than him. "Could you at least lean over or something? Let me climb on you? I need a step stool to reach your head or something, Jesus."

Deigning to entertain Tony's crazy ideas, Loki leaned down just slightly, and picked Tony up by the back of the thighs. The inventor made an embarrassing noise of protest at first, but at least Loki was sturdy, so he just wrapped his legs around the god's waist and got to work. As if everything of the past twenty minutes was forgotten, there wasn't anything remotely sexual about the position; it was just the easiest way for Tony to reach. He wiped away any soap that ran towards Loki's eyes, cleaned the blood from his temples, and then massaged the lather into his hair. There was no gentility to it, he scrubbed with as much pressure as he could distribute between all ten fingertips, scratched with his, admittedly short, fingernails, and got enough suds built up for shoulder-length hair that was black as pitch to look like a white top knot. Tony took no little amount of pleasure in seeing the change, but he knew that a lathered and sexed up Loki was very different from the armored god of insanity in battle. Confusing the two would be fatal to Tony.

Tony had to hold back a laugh when Loki started humming, chest deep and pleased like a giant feline. His eyes were closed and lips turned into an easy grin for the complete picture. "Feel good?"

"I have little time to indulge myself in the simplicity of things like this." Loki answered dozily, on the verge of swaying.

"And that's what I'm for."

"It's your own choice to do so, but I do enjoy the occasions you opt to indulge me."

"Unfortunately, your head is clean now and ready for rinsing. No more massage." Tony hadn't stopped yet though, kneading tiny elliptical patterns at the curve of the back of Loki's skull with one hand on either side of his throat.

The god opened his eyes with lazy ease. "The rest of me still needs it though, doesn't it? And so do you. Going to bed still covered in the dust of battle is never pleasant."

In other words, Loki needed more massaging. Maybe Tony just needed to buy Loki a spa gift card then. However, this way did get Tony some feeling up by Loki at the same time, so there were upsides. "I like where you're going with this. Do I have to get down?"

"I can pin you to the wall, if you'd prefer."

"I would, actually, I think."

The small smile split into a grin of bared teeth as Loki backed Tony up against the glass wall. It was built for this sort of thing, so Tony didn't give it a second thought other than wondering just how it looked from outside the shower. Loki flicked a hand over his shoulder, and the shower-head on the ceiling tilted over far enough to aim at the nape of Loki's neck. With an almost pornographic arch of throat, Loki leaned his head back to rinse the shampoo, and Tony caught himself staring for a good few seconds before readjusting his fingers to comb through the hair and get all the soap out. If he wasn't so sure that Loki's slicked back 'do was purely the product of magical upkeep, he would have offered conditioner too and prolonged his exposure to that look of simple and dozy delight on Loki's face that wasn't so dissimilar to a cat getting exactly what he wanted before clawing its human's hand away and going about its business as if the whole ordeal had never happened.

The accuracy of the whole "Loki is a cat" metaphor wasn't lost on Tony.

Once satisfied, Loki shook dripping tendrils, slick and dark as oil, and faced Tony again. Loki looked remarkably open in this moment, and it nearly took Tony aback except for the fact that he was sure he was the same. This was just sex, and here they were only themselves, minus all affiliations to their respective and sometimes questionable species, good or evil, villainy or heroism. Just Tony and Loki and brilliant sex. Any one of the Avengers would call it "compromised", but this changed nothing to how they treated each other elsewhere. They detached this time from the rest of the time, and it was suiting them just fine, thank you very much.

"You look distracted." Loki commented. His way of fixing that was to brush their lips together in a tease of a kiss.

"Just thinking I liked this fucked thing of ours." Tony said without hesitation.

Loki smiled and moved his hands to push Tony's hair back from his face. "I can see your romantic side knows no bounds."

"We doing romance now?"

"I'd rather not, frankly."

"Knew I liked you. When you're not trying to kill me, at least."

A small huff of laughter fell from Loki. "I don't 'pull my punches', as you phrase it, but I don't endeavor to kill you either. You're far more entertaining alive. A world without intellect is nothing."

Tony preened. "Did you just-? You _complimented_ me."

"I did."

"On something I actually give a fuck about."

"Looks are easy to appreciate by anyone with eyes. A naturally talented mind is rarer."

"I would be bragging about this if it wouldn't mean getting thrown in a S.H.I.E.L.D. holding cell for fucking around with the enemy. Of course, it's only treason if I'm not using you for information."

"Your mouth has been far too busy other places to learn anything of importance to them."

"Exactly. Therefore: no leeway for me. I doubt they'll be allowing you conjugal visits either."

"They wouldn't have to _allow me_ anything. I'd take it anyway."

Tony stared for a moment. "The possessive thing is kind of hot, you know. I think you were right about my self-preservation tactics being nonexistent." Saying that Loki was right was probably not the best idea since the god then just gave Tony a look so smug that Tony just wanted to kiss it off to make him _stop that already, you asshole_. "Not a word." He warned.

The grin only spread wider, and Tony was forced to pull Loki's head in for a lazy kiss. So he could still feel the curve of a smile against his mouth, but he didn't have to see it anymore, at least. 

_"You requested I alert you if anyone came near,"_ Jarvis' voice vaguely made into Tony's senses, and Tony hummed in acknowledgment. _"Captain Rogers is looking for you. He's just exited the elevator."_

"Mm, wait." He broke the kiss, but Loki just moved to the edge of Tony's jaw. Bastard knew how to distract. "Cap's here? On my floor? Loki, hold on, if he comes in here, it's going to be kind of hard to explain away." Tony tried to gently coax Loki back, but the god wouldn't budge. 

His gaze was challenging when he glanced back up to Tony. "I won't tell him if you don't." 

"What, and make him stand outside the door?"

 _"Tony?"_ Crap. And there was Steve calling through the penthouse for him. 

"In the shower!" Tony answered back, then to Loki: "As fun as joking about conjugal visits is, I would like to stay outside of a cell."

"Then don't let him in." 

"That's not-"

 _"Are you decent?"_ Steve was right outside the bathroom door, seconds from opening it. Loki stared right back at Tony, daring him to say something. 

_"Should I suggest the Captain come in?"_ Jarvis inquired. A kind suggestion, but if Tony said anything to allow Steve to enter, Loki would just teleport both himself and Tony away. So, nice as it was, it was futile. 

After Steve called his name again, Tony made up his mind. "My bare ass is on the glass door right now, Steve, so unless you want an army flashback, I'm going to recommend you stay there."

 _"Right."_ The door stayed closed, Steve kept his nose out of it for a little while longer, and Loki looked indecently pleased with the response. Ever the considerate trickster, the key word being "trickster" there, Loki leaned back in to tease Tony's throat while Tony couldn't muster up any sort of motivation to make him stop. 

_"I just had a couple more questions to ask you and Thor about your confrontation with Amora and Loki, and I'd prefer to ask both of you together."_ Steve continued. 

Right. Steve. Outside. Gather thoughts for suitable excuse. 

"Yeah, let's postpone that to later? It's sleep for me after I finish showering. Encounters with Loki are exhausting. Exhausting long after the battle ends." Tony added the last sentence low enough for only Loki to hear, and the god chuckled under his breath. 

_"It's only three in the afternoon, Tony. How long of a shower are you planning on taking?"_

"Until I'm satisfied! _Really_ satisfied, Steve." Loki moved onto Tony's shoulder as Tony just relaxed and gave the bare minimum amount of attention to Steve outside. 

He could hear a noise of disapproval from Steve even over the running water. _"Fine. But if you haven't come out before ten tomorrow morning, I'm sending in Natasha."_

"Later, sweetie!" All focus to Loki now, he pulled his arms tighter and drew him in for a kiss that lasted until Jarvis let them know that Steve was back on his respective floor. "Where were we?"

"We both should get some rest." Loki didn't sound too happy with that conclusion. Neither was Tony happy with it either. He had an odd desire to actually sleep with Loki for some reason, but that could be the idea of sneaking in another round that was appealing to his baser instincts. Higher instincts too because Loki was a sex god, and morning sex with Loki would undoubtedly be all kinds of awesome. Unfortunately, it was still too risky to just drag Loki to bed. 

"So you say, but you're not leaving yet, I notice." Tony commented. 

Loki sighed though and pulled back, letting Tony put his feet back on the floor. "Until the next battle, Anthony." He nodded. 

"Sooner would be fine too." 

Loki grinned and kissed Tony one more time for good measure. "We'll see." And then, like the tease he was, Loki just teleported away. 

Tony's planned afternoon of lazy sex was now cleared. The plan had been penciled in, but it was still one he'd been looking forward to. Chatting with Thor and Steve just wasn't comparable, but it was better to go ahead and get it over with, he guessed. It was either do it now or wait until tomorrow and ruin an entire morning from the start. 

"Jarvis, let Steve know I'll meet him on Thor's floor. Probably should give Thor a warning too."

_"Of course, sir."_

Shutting off the water, he climbed out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry off with on his way back into the bedroom. No need to dress for show, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank top, plus a jacket to cover a few of the hickeys that weren't hidden all the way under the shirt. Hair about as dry as he could get it without a blow dryer, he threw the towel back on the bed and headed off to Thor's level.

Thor was rotating his shoulder gingerly when Tony stepped out of the elevator, and the god greeted him with a curt nod and lackluster smile. The more of these confrontations that involved Loki and his staunchly shoving Thor back with everything from words to spears, the more drained and tired Thor looked after the fight. Tony couldn't really blame him; it had to be tough seeing Loki the way he was now versus the way he used to be. Realizing the part Thor played in Loki's violent rejection of Asgard and all its people had to be a downer too. Luckily for Thor, Tony knew had to tread lightly.

Choosing to tread lightly was the part he always sucked at. "Loki not pull enough of his punches?" He nodded to Thor's apparent discomfort.

The god frowned a little deeper. "It's nothing that won't heal. If only more of me could follow."

Ah, one of those moods. "I'm sure it will eventually. At least it'll fade a little."

"I do not wish for it to _fade_." Thor growled out before stopping himself. "I am sorry, Tony. Steve insists that SHIELD needs to know more of Amora and how she connects to Loki, but I do not think I am good company for such talk right now."

"You and me both, Brother Bear." Tony dropped himself onto the couch with a sigh. Thor followed to do the same and sit beside Tony, both relaxing before Steve could come in and drill them. Just as Tony was about to strike a conversation that would probably be about as successful as the one they just ended, Thor tensed and rounded on Tony accusingly. "What?" Tony bit it out before he thought to be gentler, and Thor's eyes narrowed a little, thoughtful and confused.

"I thought I-" The elevator doors opened again, and Steve stepped out. Thor immediately stopped, glanced at Steve, and sat back without another word. Tony prompted Thor again, but Thor just shook his head. "Nothing. It's nothing." He dismissed futilely.

"Is everything okay?" Steve glanced between them, and it took Tony a minute to give up glaring at Thor's stoic expression.

"Yeah. We're perfect. Let's get this over with."

"Thought you were too busy upstairs, Stark."

"When the mood's gone, it's gone, and you've got a voice that kills the mood in seconds."

Steve didn't even bother looking offended. "I'm not even going to ask."

"There's nothing that kills a boner faster than thinking about your own dad." Try as he did to see otherwise, Tony looked at Steve and saw Howard. Saw his father's work, saw the great Captain America that set such an ideal for Howard, and then Tony would remember how he never lived up to that ideal. Not a pleasing thought by any means. "Granted, that knowledge is supremely useful sometimes, but not always."

"Being visibly interested can be incredibly inconvenient." Thor commiserates. "I've often had to use the image of less than pleasant things to stave off my own."

Oh. Interesting. What would Thor use for boner-killer? Considering he hadn't flinched at anything from bunny slippers and weird phobias to horror movies so gory that Tony got nauseous watching them, the question was legitimate. "I'm actually kind of wondering what would manage to turn you off. Skip the talk of what turns you on; I don't think we're that close yet, but what _do_ you think of to lower your Mjolnir?"

"As you say, nothing works better than the thought of one's own father."

The mental image Thor had painted of Odin in the past, all full beard, eye patch, and disapproving glare made for a very unpleasant combo indeed. "Yeah, that'd do it. That's actually even more effective than mine. Mind if I borrow the idea?"

"It is yours."

"Can we skip this subject now and get on to what we're here for in the first place?" The supersoldier had donned his "my patience is wearing thin and it's time to do serious business" scowl again complete with arms crossed over his chest.

"Alright, what did you need to know?"

"You were the only two to see Amora, so you saw how they interacted."

"Like enemies. She stole his stuff, he got pissed, she vanished, he vanished, both in puffs of green. It took less than ten seconds. Seriously though, green and villains has become a thing."

"It's associated with nature and provides calming effects. Many magic users favor blue or green." Tony didn't remember asking for Thor's ill-timed Asgard Report, but fine. The association made a kind of sense too - nature with magic drawing from around the world, the serenity of green with the fluidity of magic, and last but not least, like nature, magic could just as easily heal a wound as he could cause it. The art of oppositions living in harmony. 

"Thanks for the contribution." Slumping against the couch again, Tony redirected his attention to Steve. "You know, it's a shame Amora's a villain. Green looks so good on red."

"Tony..."

"You were the one to take take that as a sexual innuendo, Steve. What I meant was that, aesthetically speaking, green and red are great together."

Thor shifted uncomfortably and coughed a little.

"Got something in your throat, big guy?" Tony questioned irritably. Thor being unsettled made everyone else unsettled; that was no secret, but this was just acting _weird._

"No, I... Loki. I used to jest about his favored color, and he said he did it to oppose my chosen shade. That we would stand apart but always compliment each other." A shake of his head. "I am sorry; Loki weighs heavily on my mind today. May I be excused?" He aimed his question at Steve, but the soldier refused.

"No, we have to finish this. Fury's on my back about getting more information on Amora. We thought she was sided with Loki, but now they're stealing from each other. Either something happened between them or he's got something serious going on that he didn't even include her in on."

"Have we considered the possibility that it was a ruse?' Tony suggested. "Make us think that he's missing something while she's actually handing it off to him with a wink and a smile." Water running over a still healing cut surfaced in his memories, but Tony pushed it back. That was then, this was now, no switching them together. He couldn't know anything that he would have learned outside of meeting Loki in a fight.

"We don't know if it is or not. Until we do, we have to assume that-"

"Assuming makes an ass out of you, Steve."

" _Assume that Loki is making more enemies_. It could be one of our few chances to catch him when his guard is down."

"His guard is always up. That's his default. I can't blame him for it either; betrayal's a bitch. We all should know that, right?" The question was answered by uncomfortable silence from both blonds. Steve rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration, looking like he was failing to fight off a headache from this train wreck of a conversation.

"Listen. Just give me enough to go to Fury with, and I'll leave this alone, alright? Anything you remember, just tell me."

Tony sighed. "Loki looked genuinely surprised to see her there. Looked genuine to me, at least."

"Loki fought hard for the amulet." The god added. "He looked desperate to get it, and when Amora appeared, he was not pleased. Even as a ruse, I do not think he would allow himself to appear weak to an opponent for any reason. It's against his nature and his training."

"So I'm thinking that amulet is special enough to warrant Amora stealing it and breaking whatever alliance she had with Loki. The focus should be on what it was she stole and what either of them wants with it."

"I can visit Asgard." Thor offered. "Perhaps the mages there can identify its value."

Steve nodded. "I can give Fury this. It's what he'll have to take."

"If he hassles you, tell him it was my fault. He'll blame it on me anyway regardless."

"Yeah..." Not even bothering to add a lecture along with that, Steve just sighed and backed up towards the elevator again. "Alright, you two can go back to what you were doing. I'll see if this calms the Director long enough for us to make some real progress in figuring out what's going on. Get some rest, guys."

Once Steve was closed into the elevator, Tony stood up quickly. "Well, this was fun - emergency meetings that interrupt important things and accomplish nothing. I'm voting we _not_ do it again though."

"Tony."

Great. The serious voice. Tony turned to look back at Thor's thoughtful expression. "Yes, Sour Patch?"

"You should be careful."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Trust is a dangerous thing to give away. To anyone."

"Ohhhkay." Cryptic much? Really, what was with him today? "See, that's not really making things any clearer than before, so..."

"I've already said more than I should, know more than I frankly care to, but believe me when I say I think of you as a brother, very much like the one I already have, and that I care for your well-being." He looked nothing short of depressingly pensive and conflicted, and on Thor, that usually meant very serious shit. It meant that he knew things he shouldn't. "No matter who endangers you, I feel you should know, but I'm bound by more rules and restrictions than there should be. I am bound by them nonetheless though, and they cannot be broken without consequences."

Tony stared in mute confusion, on the cusp of figuring something out, but when Thor's warning could relate to so many different things, Tony couldn't place what it pertained to. So for once, instead of being the brilliantly mad inventor so quick on the draw, all he could do was watch as Thor walked closer and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Will you promise to be careful?"

"Careful's not in my nature." He said without humour.

Thor smiled only faintly. "Then at least be leery. You've had enough unwarranted and unseen betrayals to last several of your lifetimes, and you do not need another to surprise you. _Please_ stay aware."

The elevator doors chimed as Jarvis opened them in the background. Thor gave Tony one more pat on the shoulder before excusing himself from the room, and Tony numbly made his way into the elevator and back to his own floor.

That was thoroughly uncomfortable from start to finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the original chapter three was pretty much entirely smut after the battle scene, I added the beginning of the original chapter four (the conversation with Thor and Steve) to this one to up the amount in a chapter and to help with the continuity a little bit. The next batch is up for censoring soon!


	4. To Your Recklessness And Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki decides he likes showing up in the tower and tempting fate during their affairs, and that turns out to be a really bad kink to enjoy.

Almost two hours of staring at his ceiling later, Tony still hadn't pinned what Thor was talking about. The possibilities were presented thusly in order of the most likely: one, he could have somehow figured out that Tony hooked up with Loki; two, he could have figured out Tony's almost assassin from three weeks ago; or three, something else entirely that was even more dangerous. None of these options were really things he wanted to accept that Thor knew, especially when he was "bound" not to tell. Sharing potentially fatal omens is caring about the person affected by said omens. How in the hell did Tony get caught up in this gods and magic and superheroes bullshit again? All Tony wanted to do was build a suit and kick some ass, maybe save the world while he was at it. This was too much complication.

Growling to himself, he turned over on his side and nuzzled his face into the pillow, trying to regain the sense of exhaustion he had before Loki showed up earlier. His mind still ran full on like a missile on target, and he couldn't calm it down enough to sleep. Not knowing was torturing him.

Finally, he just forced other thoughts to the forefront of his mind, let a fantasy run wild to overtake the less pleasant conjectures. Feeling detailed, the fantasy provided the bed shifting with a weight behind him, a long body pressing to lay at his back with arms wrapped around his stomach. Soft lips placed a kiss at his jaw as a cool hand touched his forehead and unintelligible words were whispered against his throat. A sleeping spell perhaps or something to make him relax. He'd need rest, after all, with what Loki would plan to do to him come morning as payment for this act of compassion. Tony would be so very willing to pay for it, freely and gladly offering up whatever strange, perverted, or unexpectedly prosaic positions and acts that Loki wanted to try. It was all worth it for this sleep of promising dreams.

Come morning, Tony reminded himself that getting into quite that much detail in his dreams ended with him waking up painfully hard and still no god in his bed. Rubbing that off was not quite as pleasant as his shower had been the day before.

After a short breakfast of toast and a banana - that omelet was still a work-in-progress, and he didn't feel like battling with the smoke detector today - found Tony throwing up screens around the penthouse and laying out what little he knew about villainy's plans at large. If there weren't the so many villains with the so many plans and the so few that actually had bases in the world of physics and comprehensible things, Tony's job here would be so much easier. As it was, there was Amora with the bauble of untold power, there was Hydra off doing secret things and forebodingly not attacking anything currently, there was Von Doom off in Latveria or wherever doing his thing trying to take over the world, various other terrorist groups trying their hand at making it or just causing mayhem because they could, and then there was Loki. More was known about everyone else's plans put together than they knew about Loki's, and aside from his recent foray into the thrifty job of pilfering, there didn't seem to be much of a pattern beyond collecting a shit ton of powerful stuff and being really bitchy about it when he didn't get them. The books were dark magic, their spells multifarious. The knick-knacks he was picking up had a variety of uses, and the best person to ask about what they could used for was Loki, so no luck there. Thor was going to make a stopover in Asgard for that within the week, he said, but Loki had a habit of using already unique and unconventional things in even more unconventional ways, so asking orthodox sorcerers and mages wasn't going to do much good.

Much as the admittance hurt, Tony had to give in: figuring out what Loki was doing with all these things was a dead end. Loki was an unpredictable element, and trying to discern his motives was about as productive as asking a pissed-off cat why the sky was blue. They might as well just pick artifacts that Loki was likely to go for and put high-grade security around them. Seeing Loki own the asses of some not-so-secret undercover SHIELD agents would at least be entertaining.

**xXx**

After two days of working to decipher the mystery of Loki, Tony stopped bothering to try. He hadn't been trying that hard to begin with, but that had nothing to do with their tryst. There were simply more important and productive things Tony could be doing with his time than tracing the god's steps. So he turned to his latest suit project of re-designing one he'd already made in order to improve it. When had another draft been a bad thing? Another draft, an even better end result. 

Five days from the last battle, an unexpected guest came calling. 

Tony was accumulating ideas for his third version of a stealth suit when all the screens blanked out except for a big dialog box in the center of each one that warned Tony of the new presence, not that he couldn't see the leather-bound figure behind him reflected in the glass across the shop.

"I don't believe Jarvis approves of my knowing your current projects." Loki commented. Resolutely not slouching in relief at the sound of Loki's voice, Tony turned his chair to face the god but didn't say anything yet. "Before you ask: no, there haven't been any battles," Loki added as he closed the distance. "This is purely a personal visit."

"Yet I'm still suspicious. Why am I suspicious?"

"You did offer last time that I needn't wait for another battle."

Ahh, a booty call. Tony had been at a stopping point anyway considering Jarvis turned everything off. His AI would let Loki kidnap Tony for sex, but Loki couldn't see Tony's work. This wasn't the first time Jarvis' brilliance of judgment had Tony wanting to go and hug Jarvis' data core. "See, that just makes it a question of who 'won' now though, and I'm assuming you didn't pop in for a hand job."

Loki grinned and slotted himself between Tony's already spread legs. "I've already prepared a proposal for such things. Would you like to hear it?"

"I really would."

The grin grew, and Loki rested his palms on the edge of the table on either side of Tony's torso. "I agree to suck your cock, if you would allow me to fuck you over your work table afterwards."

Tony might or might not have already fantasized about Loki's mouth on multiple occasions and was now finding his own quite dry. "Yeah, I, uh, think I could agree to that." He coughed and frowned slightly. "Though refractory periods for humans are kind of-"

"Magic, Tony. Remember magic. It will only burn as much as you want it to."

That did it. "I'm in. Figuratively. Literally for the first part."

If Loki looked proud of himself before, then it was nothing compared to how he glowed now. "Good. It would have been an inconvenience having to convince you further." With things like words no longer necessary, Loki leaned in to capture his lips in a surprisingly gentle kiss, and Tony had a brief thought that he kind of liked the softness before Loki changed the pace and shattered Tony's thoughts altogether. 

**xXx**

Unsurprisingly, they didn't last all that long. Tony had been waiting far too long for talent like Loki's, and Loki seemed all too delighted to find someone as enthusiastic as Tony. It worked well for both of them really. And /maybe/ being on opposite sides kind of fueled the thrill of it, but Tony sure as hell knew he wasn't going to say that out loud.

Tony still hung onto Loki as the god moved both hands to the table to support their tired weight. He nuzzled against Tony's neck and hummed in contentment. "And you question why I am possessive of you."

"Oh, I never questioned that." Both of their voices were hoarse in the aftermath. "I questioned that _you_ would be the one to get possessive, but it does make more sense than at first thought. What few things you do lay claim to, they are _yours_ and messing with then is punishable by death."

Loki tensed minutely for a moment, more obvious in their close quarters. "And how did you reach that conclusion?"

Pulling back just enough to meet Loki's eyes, Tony gave a lazy smile. "Because I can easily say the same about myself. Genius minds think alike." 

The tension melted from Loki as he leaned in to meet Tony's curling lips with his own. It could be barely be called a kiss, this lazy brushing of noses as Loki's mouth grazed Tony's bottom lip, not even enough pressure to keep it there before moving to repeat the action on Tony's upper lip and then licking at the open seam of his mouth. Tony just closed his eyes and let it lull him into the simmering warmth of coming down from his high for a few peaceful moments. It wasn't until a little bite at Loki's lower lip had the god laughing lightly, that Tony finally realized what this was - it was _tender_ and fuck if he didn't love it. This wasn't the first time he'd tried tender, simple intimacy, but this was the first time it didn't feel awkward or out of place or like he was forcing himself to for the sake of trying it. 

When the not-quite-a-kiss broke and became just Tony and Loki leaning their foreheads together and breathing calmly, the awkwardness still hadn't set it. Satiation and pleasure still hummed through him like drug dulling everything down to just existing right here. 

"So the magic," Loki's eyes opened to regard Tony. "Is it a thing to match me to you, or is it for both of us?"

"It depends on my state. My refractory period seems much shorter than a mortal's, but enough repetitions would require spelling myself as well. I'd rather that than to stop fucking you." 

"I'd rather that too." His grin matched Loki's as they leaned in closer again and - 

_"Agent Barton requesting you, sir."_

Tony groaned unpleasantly and sighed. He didn't want to leave the workshop, nor did he want Loki to leave already. Options were limited. Though... 

Smirking, he glanced to Loki again. "Can you keep your voice down for a few minutes?"

The god's eyes narrowed slightly. "Can you?"

Tony grinned wider and twisted to catch Loki's mouth for a moment. "Jarvis, connect audio."

 _"Sir?"_ Jarvis sounded as surprised as Loki looked. 

"Go on, Jay." 

_"Cap's got a meeting planned for now."_ Clint said by way of greeting. _"We've got some plans for dealing with Loki that we need your input on, and I'm not sitting through this without your smartass remarks making Steve's face all flush with anger because that's my entertainment for the day."_

Loki paused, but Tony just pressed against him and pulled Loki's hands around his waist. "I'm actually in the middle of something right now." The god huffed an amused breath and placed a kiss to the corner of Tony's mouth. "Can it be later? Loki's not out on the town today anyway."

 _"The point of planning is to work something out_ before _he attacks, Stark. I know your plans are usually 'shoot them down and then deal with them', but Loki takes a bit more finesse."_

"Oh, I know exactly what it takes to go down on Loki."

Tony had to stifle Loki's laughter with another kiss. 

_"Come on, Tony, Loki's a big priority right now. Everyone's tossing ideas around except for you. Well, and for Thor. He's still moping after last time, but he's going to Asgard tomorrow, so at least he can mope away from here for a little while."_

"I'm terribly upset for him. There are tears here." And Loki's hands sliding down his outer thighs, but that wasn't a thing to mention to Loki's ex-mind-slave. Three years later, and Clint was still rather sore about that. 

_"Me too. We really don't have enough family issues of our own to deal with; now we've got alien family issues too."_ Clint replied dryly. _"Can you just come down? Science can wait."_

Tony gaped even as Loki tried to distract him with a lick across his collarbone. "Lies! Science is always first!" It was muttered more to himself than to Clint. "Fine, you heathen, I'll be there in ten minutes." Loki hummed questioningly, and the quirk at the edge of his lips had such filthy promise. "Five hours, tops." Tony amended. 

_"You asshole."_ Clint bitched across the line. _"Don't count on seeing you, in other words."_

"In other words."

 _"Asshole."_ He repeated with grim finality, and the line cut off immediately after. 

Tony's mouth fell open again in offense. "How rude! Someone's not getting custom arrows for their birthday if they're-" Loki cut off Tony's rant with his mouth, and by the time he was done, Tony had completely forgotten what he was fake-outraged about in the first place. Loki's mouth had just that ability. 

"It seems you have obligations again." Loki pretended to pout but couldn't hide his amusement for all that long. 

"Obligations suck. Get back to the orgasms." 

He chuckled a little. "Perhaps here is not the best location."

Exhaling all his problems in one long breath of defeat, Tony deflated back against Loki. "Yeah. I'm thinking only after battles and post-battle meetings too. Less chance of people feeling up to talking, more chance of them going to their own damn floors and staying there." Ever since Tony had broken down and asked them to move in after the whole place was corrupted and Tony was almost assassinated, though his safety felt a little safer with them around, it was a lot harder to get away with breaking the rules now.

"Noted. From now on, I'll simply have to remove you from their reach for our..." He paused with a trailing hum as he tried to find the fitting word. 

"Sex-capades?" A disinterested hum ruled out that label. "Spicy affair? Disgustingly inappropriate and therefore delicious sessions of recurring ignorance of worldly alliances in favor of really awesome sex?" 

"No." Such impacting rejection on a single word. Loki had that talent too. "I was going to say 'our illicit liaisons' instead, actually. I'm rather fond of the cadence of it."

Tony considered the catchiness of it and had to hand that one to the wordsmith. It also made him want to hand other things to him, or possibly just get down on his knees and reaffirm his own skills to the god. Apparently those thoughts were obvious on Tony's face though as Loki looked momentarily conflicted before sighing and sliding away from Tony. "You should see to your heroic duties. You should win some battles." Loki grinned. 

"Win or lose, the post-fight dance is always fruitful." Tony replied lightly with his own cheeky smile as he turned to face Loki fully. It might have happened that he leaned back on the table in what he knew to be a rather obvious flaunt of his body. "Do I at least get a kiss goodbye?" 

Loki's dilated pupils said that he would get more than that, but the god had a surprising amount of restraint. He took one step closer, leaned in as if to kiss Tony, then held up his own hand, and kissed his own fingertips instead before smacking them to Tony's lips.

"Fucking mischief."

"Not anymore for today, dear Anthony." Loki laughed and stood up straight. "But as an apology for our plans being cut short, I'll grant a nicety to ease your way through your arduous attempts to plan my capture."

_Please be a magic time machine, please be a magic time machine, please be a magic time machine..._

Loki tapped Tony in the center of the forehead, and by the time he closed and reopened his eyes, his and Loki's clothes were back in order, and they were both cleaned up as if nothing had happened. Not the magic Tony was hoping to utilize today and said as much. 

"Nor the magic I was planning to overtax myself using repeatedly." Loki frowned before drawing himself up straight. "But the next time will not have the same issue, I assure you."

"Better not."

"I swear it." And the cockiness was back in his smile in an instant. Tony was looking forward to what it would mean for their next _illicit liaison_. 

"Then go blow shit up or steal something already."

"In time, lest I make my intentions too obvious. These things must be planned." 

"Yeah, plans aren't really my style." 

"Your impulsivity is far more endearing than Thor's though."

Since passive luring wasn't working, Tony opted for a more active approach and invaded Loki's space again as the god allowed him. "So go start a fight then. Unless you want to damn them all and test another table's integrity." He laid his arms over Loki's shoulders while Loki's hands rested at Tony's waist.

"Mmm. Tempting for you." Another kiss can't be resisted as Tony pulled Loki down at the same time as he stood up, and they met for one more ridiculously indulgent and slow kiss. It was because Loki was an amazing kisser, Tony told himself, not because he liked the tenderness, and when they finally parted, their eyes remained closed a few seconds longer than necessary. 

Loki grunted in dissent and leaned back. "I should go. I have explosions and thievery to plan, apparently."

Tony pecked a single short kiss on Loki's lips just because. "You better. And make it huge. I expect an exhausting fight for everyone but us."

Grinning, Loki nodded and disentangled from Tony. "We'll exhaust ourselves after."

"I'll look forward to it." 

Loki faded from his feet up, his smile last, and Tony had to question if the god's exploration of earth had yielded a certain Lewis Caroll book that Tony still found trippy as fuck. "Well, Jarvis." Tony turned back to his holos. "Are you going to allow me to science or should I play nice with the Avengers?"

_You have avoided a total of seven consecutive meetings with the collective, not including post-battle debriefs that were inescapable."_

"Huh." Seven was quite a number. "How many of those were mandatory?"

 _"All of them."_ And considering that Jarvis was probably the one getting bugged about Tony's absence from them, no wonder he sounded tired. Jarvis was probably the only AI that actually _could_ sound tired.

Right. "Meeting, it is. One attended, and then I can blow off seven more. Let it be a surprise that I'm showing up, alright?"

_"I'm sure it will be, sir. The floors that the Avengers inhabit have been quite masterfully ignored since they moved in."_

Well, it was rude to go waltzing through an occupied floor just because he could. Plus, they had the communal floor that was all work out rooms and the huge living room and the bigass dining table to match the bigass kitchen that was supposed to be for group meals if Tony ever bothered to eat meals at the right time of day. Marathoning science didn't exactly run on a set schedule. 

But on that note, he was getting kind of hungry and since there was a kitchen up where he was going anyway... Yeah, maybe he could work a little harder on being part of the team. Living with other human beings was just going to take some getting used to anyway. But he had to start somewhere, right? 

But did any of them actually know how to cook either?


	5. Define This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight doesn't happen, and Tony pays for it. Sneaking suspicions aren't getting so sneaky anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to go softcore on this one again. I tried to go as soft as possible though. ^^;; Questions, comments, or advice on censoring, that's what the comment box is always open for~

Tony was getting some well-needed coffee in the penthouse kitchen - one always had to make sure the necessary rations were in place before going on a science bender, and all the coffee in the workshop had been used up after the last time of going four days without sleep - when came a sound like the crack of a massive falling tree three inches behind his back. He didn't remember planting any bigass trees up here, but it was loud enough to startle and switch his fight mode on, making him drop the coffee mug and spin around to find -

 _Loki_. Of course.

Cursing roundly in a few languages he only remembered the insults from, Tony snatched the roll of paper towels from the counter and started to clean up the spill. "I thought we'd agreed on 'only after battles' because of privacy reasons? Did I miss a scheduled duel or something? I know there haven't been any Avengers calls."

"No, there haven't been, have there?" Loki leered down at him, and it made Tony 83% more suspicious.

"What did you do or what are you planning to do that's messed up enough to warn me beforehand?"

 _"Director Fury on the line, sir."_ Even Jarvis sounded amused. What the hell had Tony missed? _"It seems there's been another robbery of an artifact that SHIELD had been monitoring, and security cameras indicate Loki is responsible."_

The god's grin widened.

_"He escaped before authorities or even museum staff so much as noticed the theft."_

"You won a fight before it could even happen." Tony held his voice inflection-free, still trying to process what he should be feeling. He was caught somewhere between anger, disappointment, and ridiculously high levels of arousal.

"Need there always be a battle? My successes generally constitute a negative for your team, but as this is our game, our rules apply however we chose." Loki crouched in front of Tony and leaned close enough that even before he looked up, Tony could smell the olfactory bite of spice clinging to his lover's clothes and skin, sharp and soothing and tingling with every breath Tony took in. "If you'd prefer only direct conflict apply to our trysts, I can leave."

Was there really any question? "Actually you can stay. And you can start by cleaning up my coffee via whatever the hell method you want. Then I think I'll have Jarvis lock the doors while I have you in my bed for a change."

Loki's eyes _gleamed_. "I wondered if we ever would."

"Jarvis, let Fury know that I got the message, but Loki's already won, so I'm not bothering hauling my ass down to headquarters for another redundant powwow. Then set communications to privacy mode."

Loki may have won the battle that never was, but he still came to Tony for sex, so that was a win for the inventor.

While Loki vanished the spill with a simple swipe of one hand, Tony gave Loki a thorough visual once over, relishing in the lack of armor to puzzle apart this time. Instead, in pressed black trousers, a gray Henley shirt, and dapper black blazer, Loki was disarmingly... human? He wore a suit in Stuttgart three years ago, sure, occasionally cropped up at galas and parties in formal human wear right before he fucked more shit up, but he'd always looked so unearthly. Too crisp, too sharp, too smooth, where humans were clumsy, he was a stand out. Now here in Tony's kitchen, Loki wasn't so unreal anymore. He was here on solid ground instead of floating above, something solid as opposed to one incorporeal, something tangible, and Tony wanted to strip his god down to nothing and lick every inch of that tangible self.

"Liking the new look." He complimented belatedly after Loki had started to look annoyed with the silent ~~gawking~~ staring.

"Thank you. I thought it time to expand my wardrobe. These are much easier to take off too."

"My second favorite thing about them."

Loki's brow furrowed in bemusement, his head listing towards his shoulder. "And what is your favorite thing about them then?"

"You look _really_ good in them, have I mentioned? Those pants leave pretty much nothing to the imagination even if I wasn't already so intimately aware of your _gifts_." 

That grin turned smug in an instant. "Could my negligence to wear anything underneath have anything to do with it?"

"Definitely has something to do with... things." Tony pulled a laughing Loki to standing, fingers wrapped in his ridiculously well-tailored blazer to drag - though Loki was following along quite amicably - him down the hallway to his room.

"So glad you approve, lover." Loki purred behind him as Tony set to shutting and locking the door, and Jarvis switched the lights on low.

"I approve so much that I can't wait to see you out of them." Spinning on his heel to face Loki, Tony found him already starting to shrug off the jacket, but Tony stepped closer and stopped him. "But I'll wait anyway. As a reward for later."

Loki pouted as Tony's hands took Loki's away from his own clothes. "Why not now?"

"Because I'm not fucking exhausted from a fight now, and I can take my time exploring you with and without clothes. Is that a problem?"

Loki made an approving hum and shifted to touch Tony's waist while allowing Tony's palms to remain softly touching the back of Loki's hands. "The idea bodes promise." He leaned in and captured Tony's lips with his own, slow and lazy and chaste for their usual but not any less as captivating as usual. After weeks of not even so much as setting eyes on each other, frantic fucking was the last thing on Tony's mind, and thank God Loki seemed of the same mindset. Then again, this luxuriant affection had become their norm lately. There were sparks, and then there was simmering heat like a bed of coals waiting to become an inferno.

Sex with a frost giant and fire metaphors. Loki had a way with making Tony's brain short circuit and be ironically contrary.

Surely there was magic involved here because Tony was thinking all kinds of things here that were... not his usual. It was during a particularly hungry kiss that, for some reason, Loki was mentally dubbed _Tony's_ god. For an atheistic pessimist, that was something very new to think. Sure, rolling with the punches and defenestrations got Tony a pretty fantastic affair - definitely more than a fling now - and while the thought was odd, Tony was just as ready to call it odd and keep going. He was not going to mess this up by questioning it and getting cold feet. No, this was good, and he was keeping it. It had all the potential to become even hotter than its current euphoric state, and Tony was _not_ going to mess with this. He was going to enjoy it. It was actually not the Tony Stark thing to do in romantic situations, but fuck it, obviously what he had been doing wasn't successful, so maybe it was time to try something new.

Proximity and personal space had never really been a big deal before, but one afternoon of very close and intimate quarters with a crazy god in Tony's shower and, okay, yeah, Tony developed a little bit of a kink for that. But only with Loki. He didn't willfully imagine anyone else displaying even half of the kinds of dominance that Loki did to Tony, and he didn't really think many other people _could_ do it like Loki did. No, that was a specific-to-Loki kink. Probably because he was just so damned good at it. Maybe less that it was "good", and more that he was just that _wicked_. Wicked and intoxicating and downright addictive.

Oh, yes, Loki was definitely an addiction by now.

And as Tony always did when he got close, he had to test his boundaries.

" _Does Asgard have safe words in sex?_ "

"Stop words? Of course." Loki gave him a contemplative look over his shoulder. They'd made it to bed, but they hadn't gotten much further than undressing yet. "Are we intending to test them?" The narrowing of eyes were as interested as they were leery.

"Precautionary only for tonight. Not interested in picking at triggers, but I'd like to know if I happen to go too far by accident." There were all kinds of triggers, after all, and Loki was sure to have a few unusual ones after all his years. Better safe than a panicking Loki. "The kinds of sex-based situations that safe words were designed for? Gonna take a lot longer talk before we try any of that, and we're not quite there yet. True?"

There was something like respect or... relief? Maybe the slightest hint of disappointment in Loki's gaze? But he relaxed a little more bonelessly into the bed. Trusting, Tony realized. "Agreed. I like our current simplicity." Loki frowned. "Don't laugh, Tony."

"I'm sorry, but what about this whole thing is simple?" He wasn't laughing hard, but he couldn't help a chuckle at Loki's expense. Pretty much the only simple thing was that they hadn't gone beyond rough and/or borderline exhibitionistic sex. The situation? Hiding from everyone? Sneaking off after publicly owning each other in a fight? There was nothing simple about that. 

"It _is_ far simpler. It is the minds of others that complicate this, not us. I want you. You want me. We both accept and take of each other as we please. That is the simplicity."

Tony hummed and leaned down to set his chin against Loki's shoulder. There was nothing but honesty in those eyes, half blown pupil and half thousand-year old gemstone green. Lust and something else Tony hadn't quite identified yet. "Guess I should trust a god to know the difference."

"I have known enough complication to be aware of it."

"So let's stick with simple. But keep it safe in the name of... safety."

Loki smiled and laughed lightly, raising one hand to brush Tony's fringe out of his eyes. "How about we chose our own, lest you ruin my existing stop word with your _simple_ humour?"

Just as well. Tony might not be able to pronounce Loki's existing word, so he gave a few moments' thought to a new one. Something that otherwise had no chance of being muttered during sex... "You'd hit me if I picked an Avenger's name, wouldn't you?"

"Not hit with intent to harm. But your ass would be several lovely shades of red after I was done, and you wouldn't see my face again for some time after." A threat veiled so nicely with a glint in his eye and a devious smile.

"And 'SHIELD' would dull things a bit too much." At least it wouldn't completely ruin the mood afterwards as much as something like "Howard" or "Asgard" would. Unpleasant floods of memories for both of them there.

Loki hemmed. "How about..." He smirked after a pause. "'Pillow talk.'"

He couldn't help it; Tony laughed. A lot. "You're such a jerk. I like you. And yes. That's perfect. A stop for anything." He wasn't going to mention that they already did pillow talk aplenty. It just wasn't a thing to be admitted, lest Loki be tempted to really go through with the spanking threat. Uh... oh. The thought of getting spanked shouldn't have made Tony's cock jump like it did. That was dangerous. Best to get back on track.

"So we're done with the preamble?" He prompted lightly, and Loki nodded.

"Mm, yes, I think so." It was unreal how quickly Loki's voice would flit from professional casualness to dulcet purrs of indecent promise of how it was surely going to end extremely well for Tony. "Go on then - I am at your mercy."

Boy, he really was toying without playing the submission card tonight, wasn't he? Fucking tease. "Dangerous permission to give me."

"I trust you." And that was the kicker, wasn't it? Forget the other three little words, these were the three that meant a huge lot to people like Tony and Loki. The softness in Loki's face as he gazed back over his shoulder showed nothing but honesty as far as Tony could tell. Huh. This "fling" just kept getting less and less casual. And Tony found himself colored completely unsurprised at the revelation. Excitement was too strong a word for the thought of it; it was more... it was the same kind of hazy, pleased acceptance without a second consideration that he usually felt around Loki.

"You know the words if you don't." Tony made sure to add before planting a soft kiss against Loki's shoulder and then moving back down.

"Speaking is not how I want either of our mouths right now."

"You just like when my mouth is occupied." It was a pitiful grouse if there ever was one, but Tony couldn't find it in himself to be offended. Why would he? He's got an alien god in his bed, and all he has to do is stop chatting for fifteen minutes.

"I like it, dear lover, because I like your worship."

"I'd call it ' _affection_ ' more than _'worship'..."_ He muttered a bit unconvincingly even to his own ears.

Loki chuckled. "Do you? As you'd like. But gods know worship, and I believe we crossed that some weeks ago. But feel free to tell yourself otherwise."

Challenge met defiance, Loki against Tony in a battle of only eye contact, but Tony faltered first with a glance back down as he ran one hand across the back of Loki's firm thighs. "I only researched Norse paganism the once, and it so didn't fit this."

"Because supplicants are dissimilar to a good lover. I don't want your supplication; I want your body. What you give, you can call it whatever you like, but I know what I feel from you, and I'll call it what I like."

"I'll call you an ass, is what I'll call you-"

" _Tony_..."

The fondness in his exasperation brought Tony's eyes back up to meet Loki's, finding nothing but - _ha_ \- affection. 

"Need I remind you that I do have a limit to my patience?"

"Guess the whole thing about worship is a post-coital kind of discussion, huh? And that will be a discussion we'll be having. At some point. Not now. Kind of rather be doing other things now."

"As I would like you to."

Good. Agreement. That was a suitable enough delay to the weirdo claims of _worshiping Loki._ Who would do that after actually knowing him? He could survive sex with a demigod without telling the Avengers, but once it got to the point of worshiping him? Kind of different territory. Worshiping a flesh and blood person was weirder than pledging to imagined deities. Tony understood the faith thing, wanting to believe in a higher power that could protect and look out for you, but pledging that same kind of blind love to a person that stood right in front of you? Weird.

So no. Loki was wrong about that. And when Tony went back to not-worshiping his god, the subject totally left his mind.

Except he had to wonder one thing...

What was there to worship anyway? Intellectual and physical hotness, sure, two huge attractions, but it should take more than that. Like the way his breath shook at the sound of the lubricant bottle snapping open or the way he collapsed the upper half of his body in uncoordinated slump when touched again. Even the little huffs of barely verbal noise while Tony worked, or watching the way all his muscles would tense up at even the smallest task of moving an arm to get more comfortable. The indulgent sounds and encouraging goading of where and when and how he wanted Tony, and the half-choked bark of laughter when Tony did something that Loki didn’t ask for but pleased him anyway.

Okay, so maybe there was a _little_ worshiping going on here. Fuck it, it was, and Loki was loving it just as much as Tony was, so why bother stopping just because the implication of a single goddamn word was rankling Tony’s precious anti-religion boundaries? Hell no. Screw labels, do what you want, and if getting on his knees for a Norse deity tickled Tony's fancy, then that's what he was going to do. It was a free world so long as the people that would stop him didn't find out that he was doing things he shouldn't. Morals were for people not him. And for people that didn’t have a Loki in their bed.

And having Loki in his bed was... There were no fitting words.

**xXx**

"Keep this position in mind." Loki said after a few minutes of catching their breath and after sparing a complicated flick of fingers to clean the sticky off. "I believe I'd like to experience it from the other side next time."

"Meaning when you have me."

"It's inevitable that you will win some battles. I should find something to comfort myself about the loss." Loki turned his head to look at Tony and smirked a slight tilt of lips. "Are you unwilling to try this reversed?"

"Oh, no, I'm up for it." Tony was so willing that, if he had the stamina, he would be offering it right now. "Barring weird fetishes, I'm up for almost anything, and no, that's not a challenge."

"A shame, I was compiling a list of things to add to our repertoire." Loki chuckled and rolled over to fully face Tony as Tony did the same, both then lying on their shoulders with heads sharing a pillow. "Not getting interrupted by one of your friends being high on the list of things to try."

Light as the comment was, Tony could hear the tinge of annoyance that stiffened Loki's words. "Jarvis's got us on lockdown. No calls in. You can cross that off the list now. What's up next?" 

Humming in consideration, Loki gained a whole new calculating kind of stare, appraising and considering, but he was still too high on endorphins (or whatever the Jotunn equivalent of sex hormones were) to get much more serious than just looking as if he was thinking. "Let’s enjoy the solitude first, shall we? I believe we have time to try new things later."

"Because we're simple." Tony grinned.

Loki chuckled softly and pulled Tony in to touch their foreheads together. "This is simple. Not us or our lives. _This_."

Tony knew the word, knew the set of words that could summarize this, but he wouldn't say them. It wasn't time. It was obvious, and the look in Loki's eyes said it was mutual, but it wasn't the time to belt the little phrase out. There would be a time for it though; of that, Tony was absolutely positive.

"Yay for this then. This is nice. This is good."

"Don't cheapen it with jokes, Tony." Funny how Loki hadn't sounded genuinely offended with Tony in some time now, only amused and playfully disciplinary.

"I don't cheapen, I waltz around it. And I do like this. Honestly. No jokes."

Loki opened his eyes again, and Tony found himself floored at the lack of masks that Loki had to hide what he was feeling. It was just all there. And Tony was certain he looked the same himself if Loki's gently widening smile was any indicator. Tilting his head out a little, Loki placed a light kiss to Tony's lips and hummed. "It's nearly midnight. You should get some sleep." 

"Well, I am already in bed." So much for the science bender he had been planning, but this was a perfectly wonderful alternative. "You should sleep too."

"That would require me leaving for my own bed." Loki declared automatically, well-practiced.

"Think again. See, here's a bed that you're already comfortably settled in. And better than your bed, it has me in it too. So why bother leaving when you can stick with the warm bed complete with companion?"

An incredulous laugh tumbled out of Loki, but he gave in and stretched out comfortably on his back, leaving plenty of room for Tony to fit himself against Loki's side. "I suppose you have a point."

"I'm full of good ideas like this. You should hear the ones I get first thing in the morning."

"I intend to. Sleep, lovely boy."

**xXx**

As it turned out, gods made amazing pillows. Tony woke up a few times during the night to change position - it had been a long time since he slept snuggled up to someone and so had to periodically shake off the static feeling of a sleeping arm or leg. Loki would dazedly shift with him, sleeping another few hours with his head tucked into Tony's throat, or wrapping his arms around Tony's waist when Tony rolled over to put his back to Loki. Spooning was surprisingly comfortable considering he doubted that Loki had any more experience with cuddling than Tony did.

And he had to face it: this was cuddling. To say it wasn't would be a lie. But damn, it was comfy. 

It was morning when Tony woke to the bed shifting as Loki climbed out. Tony groaned pitifully and pawed at Loki's retreating arm, only to hear the soft laugh and have his forearm patted consolingly. "Even gods are not exempt from needing a bathroom at some point, Tony." 

Conceding with another discontent groan, Tony let him go and rolled over on his side to face the bathroom door. When Loki returned a couple minutes later, Tony had set himself up with his arms folded in front of his chest and the sheet tangled around his hip but the rest of his bare skin on a spread display he knew well to be pretty good looking. Because playing fair was for suckers.

Loki paused and shook his head incredulously after a moment. "I suppose this is your subtle way of asking me back to bed again?"

"You got better plans for today?"

"I hadn't expected last night to last as long as it did. Not a complaint, mind." He added when Tony gave a fake affronted look. "And I do have plans for the day, as a matter of fact."

"I'm offended."

"Even if I just decided on them to include testing how long we can defile various surfaces in your penthouse before we exhaust ourselves?"

"Less offended. More intrigued." Tony extended one hand invitingly, all for defiling the penthouse, but he needed more comfy bed and comfy Loki while still waking up. He didn't care how or what would end up happening in bed, just wanted a little more time here, all curled up together.

 _Getting sentimental, Stark?_ Some little asshole of a voice tried to ask.

_When am I not sentimental? I keep useless robots and stopped my weapons company from mass-producing weapons just because of sentiment. This is no different. Now fuck off, and let me have fun._

Loki had crawled onto the bed again by that point, eliminating any cruel attempts of his mind to negatively second guess this. There was no use convincing Tony away; he loved whatever the fuck was going on here. Loki seemed happy too.

"You're too distracting, insatiable boy."

"Hey, I can only attract when you're already attracted. Really, it's a joint thing, seducing you back into bed."

"But not entirely selfless either."

"Nah. Maybe a little bit selfish." Tony rolled onto his back as Loki crawled over him, tucking messy black hair behind Loki's ears just as Loki pushed Tony’s bangs away from his forehead, forearms tucked under Tony's shoulders.

"You look positively debauched, dear." Loki commented, sounding quite pleased. "I should pull you into your ridiculously over-large shower and scrub you down."

If Loki looked this messy, Tony could only imagine what he looked like himself. "Or we could just do it again and clean off after."

"Suitable."

Loki cut off any more deal-making by occupying Tony's mouth better ways, and within seconds, they'd relaxed all boneless into each other, nuzzling and kissing and surprisingly managing to do nothing sexual aside from how they happened to be positioned. But there was no stirring despite the ability to get it back up again by now. It was just lazy morning kisses and warm hands and limbs curling possessively around their lover. Loki didn't move his mouth any further than Tony's neck and shoulders, and Tony liked how it felt, god help him, because he was well aware what this kind of thing led to in terms of... _longer term_.

Funny how "long term" didn't seem like such a horrible thing either.

_"Pardon the interruption, but Master Stark needs to eat. It's been some time since he has now."_

Tony's stomach growled on queue. "Ah, Jarvis is kind of right." Tony leveled a lecherous grin from kiss-swollen lips. "Want to come with?"

"More substantial sustenance is in order, I suppose. Shower after?" Loki pecked a kiss the tip of Tony's nose.

"Perfect."

By the time they actually got out of bed, put some pants on, and stumbled into the kitchen, it was nearing noon. Food was somehow managed between giving each other substantial looks of filthy promise, and as soon as they'd finished off the frozen pizza Tony scrounged from the freezer, they ended up in the same chair again with Tony straddling Loki's lap. What had been warm feelings and non-sexual kissing had graduated to a lot more in no time at all once the mood hit for it.

That would be the time for Jarvis to pipe in again as well because there was a very short list of instances where Jarvis would notify Tony of a communication attempt while the AI was set on privacy mode.

_"Sir, I'm afraid there is an Avengers Assemble call for arms."_

"Shit." Tony couldn't stop, wouldn't risk Loki's payback for breaking away now. "Be there... five minutes." Loki's teeth on Tony's neck told him what Loki thought of that estimate. "Fuck! Okay, t-two minutes. Absolute m-maximum. Do that again." Lack of surprise didn't alter the effect any, honestly.

"You better show up in your suit, lest they see what you've been up to." There was no small amount of joy in Loki's tone as he nurtured the new aching mark he'd made. "Or you could show them anyway and cause quite the scandal." 

"And then everyone would know that someone's got Tony Stark in deep enough to let them bite him. They might not know who, but they'll know it's _someone_."

Loki moved his grip to Tony's hair and pulled his head back to look him in the eye. "Is that such a bad thing?"

Tony thought on it for a moment. Then bared the other side of his throat and grinned. Loki got that look again - bright-eyed, indecent excitement and wonder, and a little bit of incredulity - before his face was hidden against Tony's neck again.

He really didn't have a chance at holding out against Loki. After, Tony curled himself over to rest his head on Loki's shoulder, struggling to stay in the moment while knowing he needed to leave as soon as possible. Fucking terrorists had to interrupt his morning sex, and that was not going to go well for them once Tony summoned the strength to pull away from his handsy god.

"And that's two minutes’ time." Loki muttered between breaths.

"I'll get there when I get there."

"How heroic of you."

"Their words, not mine." The title was suffocating more often than not. Like expecting someone to be a comedian because they liked making people laugh. Tony liked helping people, and he would do nearly anything to help them, but that didn't mean he wanted the title.

"The parts we play for them." Loki trailed off and kissed Tony's temple.

He let his breathing return to normal again before he even started to pull back from Loki. "I'll be back later."

"I won't be waiting." Loki teased lightly but gave Tony one more kiss before swiping one hand over their chests to magic off the mess. "But I will come back soon."

"Looking forward to it." Tony stood begrudgingly, the task made harder when Loki’s hands followed him up. "Jarvis, prep the suit, set coordinates, and I’ll be down as soon as I get my undersuit on."

_"Suit prep already started, sir. Ready when you are."_

"See ya, sweetie."

"Until next time, lover." Loki lounged back, giving a wink and a grin just before he vanished from the toes up.

And there was such glorious morning shower sex on the schedule this morning. Damn.


	6. Unraveling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight without Loki is the fight where Loki could have been incredibly useful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A completely smut-free chapter! Easiest one to post yet. :P And heeerreeee comes some plot!

Tony had been _intensely_ busy with Loki - apparently they'd come up with an unspoken agreement that, while sex would have to wait until after official battles between Loki and the team, making out at the breakfast table could be done whenever they fucking felt like it - when the "Avengers Assemble" call came in. For a minute, he actually thought about ignoring it completely. The problem was that Tony's excuses for why he didn't show up were going to be obscenely obvious lies, so he had to go.

And maybe leaving Loki had left Tony feeling _a little_ testy.

"Gotta love being put on bomb disposal duty." Tony groused. "Not like I haven't almost been killed by a couple of these or anything." He didn't bother lowering his voice; he was in a condemned building, kneeling before a maddeningly complex bomb with his hands inside the piece of shit tech that he'd yanked half a dozen dummy wires out of already. So no, he was going to mutter whatever he damn well pleased since he was alone in said volatile location.

Comms were still active though.

 _"Uh, Tony, I think your radio is malfunctioning."_ Steve said pointedly. That tone was definitely more "your radio is malfunctioning, so keep your bitching to an internal monologue" instead of vicarious embarrassment.

"Radio's fine; I just don't care if you hear." Tony pulled another maybe or maybe not redundant trip mechanism. The timer kept counting down. "Damn it. When I've got two minutes left on the four-foot wide bomb in front of my face, I'll say what I like, thanks. Including a big 'fuck you' to Nick Fury for letting me know about this so late in the game."

 _"Proper bomb disposal was supposed to take care of it."_ Fury's voice lacked any patience. _"We couldn't get them in without endangering their lives before they even got to the site."_

"Uh, they dismantle bombs for a living. What part of that is safe?"

_"You're the bomb maker, Stark. You're the best alternative. Now stop chatting and do the damn job."_

"Go fuck yourself, Nick. I'm multitasking, and you're not the boss of me. I'm not an agent you can pull rank on, remember? Now can someone else speak up here because I really don't want Fury's voice to be the last thing I hear."

 _"We're kind of busy too, Stark."_ Natasha grit out between labored breathing and grunts of effort. _"Remember the rest of the bastards out here?"_

They'd already dismantled half a dozen amateur small-yield bombs alongside a dozen more dummy bombs, all the show without any explosive material in it, but it just wasted time when they were trying to find the ones that were the exploding kind. Like the massive and terrifyingly impressive one that Tony was sitting in front of right now. Fucking humans, man. Give Tony all the magical creatures and sorcerers and stuff that defied science, and he could deal with it. But humans? Bastards, the lot of them, with serious psychological issues trying to commit mass genocide on a bunch of innocent people completely unrelated to their cause, all for some bullshit statement. Sometimes not even that. Tony was getting real tired of dealing with inhumane humans.

_"Just dismantle the bomb and get back on the streets, Stark. Your team could use the help."_

"Love to, Nick. Would you like to help figure out which of these five dozen wires is the right one to pull and which one is the trick wire that instantly sets the entire thing off? Hm? Can you help that along?"

 _"The_ bomb _, Tony. Maybe everyone should shut up and work."_

"And the Widow of course has the good ideas every time. Shut up, people."

Developing a team dynamic with a bunch of assholes that preferred to work alone? It took some effort to work together. They were getting pretty good at it this past month, but there were good and bad days. Today was a not-so-good day.

 _Click._ The timer stopped at one minute, two seconds to go.

"Yes! Bomb disabled! You may now applaud, lady and gents." There was a chorus of relieved noises and sighs along with Clint's "about time" over the comms, but Tony couldn't bask in the distracted praises.

The timer was going again. _At ten times the speed._

"Oh, shit."

In a flash of white, Tony briefly felt his body being propelled backwards before he heard as much as felt a sharp _crack_ , and everything went dark.

**xXx**

Sound was the next thing Tony remembered. His ears were ringing, and the voices in his helmet were garbled, too loud, too deep, and overlaid with the static of technical malfunctions. It took Tony a minute to realize his eyes were closed, but opening them revealed very little in the nonexistent lighting, aside from the HUD flickering every once in a while before disappearing again.

Trying to lift one arm resulted in searing pain through the whole limb, and Tony could have laughed in joy at the agony. _He could still feel them._ It hurt beyond belief, but he raised his arm anyway. The helmet had to come off; he had to see what was going on. Inches away, his forearm hit something and the shock actually ripped a scream out of him. He gingerly tilted his head down, only barely able to get a glimpse through the eye slits during the brief blinking light of the gauntlet repulsors, something splattered in blood.

 _Helmet. Off. Need it off._ His mind supplied dimly again, as he switched to his other hand to release the face plate.

His right shoulder was pierced through with a jagged shard of plating and all attempts to move let Tony know - via more mind-numbing agony - that it not only went in the front, but came out the back and sunk at least a couple of inches into the wall behind him. Pinned like a bug. Another small piece had been propelled with another force to breach the suit and was now embedded in the left side of his abdomen, but Tony could feel the edge of that one, and it didn't go through and through. Whether that was actually good or not was to be determined.

Trying to focus on the comms as his hearing returned, Tony understood Steve first, hurried and barking orders to everyone on the line.

 _"Stark, do you copy? Has_ anyone _gotten a bead on Stark yet?! I heard something, but he won't answer!"_

 _"We're trying!"_ Barton sounded just as stressed. _"We can't protect the Search and Rescue team all the way there, and every time I get close, some other asshole punk tries to get my attention. It's just the four of us and we can only get there as fast as we can get there."_

 _"He's not dead."_ Steve said, stony and determined.

 _"It was a hell of a blast, Cap, but Stark's survived worse."_ Natasha was breathing hard from running? Fighting? Tony couldn't tell. _"He's going to be in bad shape when we do find him. But we will find him alive. He's not allowed to die on us."_

_"Just keep working. We have to get him safe."_

"Guys?" Tony croaked out barely louder than a stage whisper. "I could use some muscle here."

There was a clamor of calling his name and asking where he was, and it was making Tony's head throb until Clint finally told everyone to shut the fuck up. _"What's your status, Iron Man?"_

"Third floor of the building that had a live bomb in it. I'm... blood loss is getting to be a problem." He leaned his head back against the wall to catch his breath after those few short sentences. "Bomb plating tore itself into some pretty sharp shrapnel."

 _"We're on our way."_ Clint assured, but his voice was tight.

It took a few minutes and all the while everyone alternately asked Tony questions to keep him awake. Asking him to remember what they had for supper the last time they all ate together (chicken something and the far more memorable zucchini pomodoro two nights ago) or the last time he had to wear a tie (three weeks ago). Then it was could he move his legs (yes, so his spine was intact) and how stable the building was around him (there was a goddamn _bomb_ , how stable did they think?) and were his repulsors functional enough to light up so that they could find him in the dark.

Natasha slipped her way through the wreckage first, Steve and Clint close behind. She knelt by Tony's right, careful not to touch but her eyes roamed critically over every inch that she could see.

"Paramedics are waiting outside." Steve jumped over the last girder between himself and Tony. "We just have to get you there intact."

"We'll have to take this one out before he can go anywhere." Nat sat back on her heels with a rude gesture at the protruding metal from Tony's shoulder. "You'll have to do it, Cap. Neither Hawkeye or I have the muscle for it without risking more injury. Just pull it straight out and do it fast, okay? Otherwise he'll bleed a lot more."

Steve made a face like he was going to be sick. "Are you okay with that, Tony?"

"As long as you weren't lying about the EMTs being close." Tony answered honestly. "Because I'm really going to need them after you rip out the thing that's holding some of my blood in. Maybe leave the other one for the medical professionals though, 'kay?"

Steve gave the shrapnel a sharp look. "It's going to hurt. A lot."

"Dying here will hurt a lot more."

"Time's ticking." Natasha reminded.

Handing his shield off to Barton, Steve crouched just to the other side of the shrapnel as Natasha. "Don't know how much I'm going to scream. Just warning you." Tony was shot a half-hearted glare for the remark. "Kidding, Rogers. Only not really. Just get it out, will you? And Widow, you remember the manual releases?"

"Of course. I'll staunch the bleeding once we get it out. Clint can keep your suit safe."

Tony heaved a shaky sigh of relief. "Good. That's good. Thanks."

"It's what the team is for, Stark."

And Tony knew that, but feeling like it was a lot harder in recent times. The Avengers moving in, and Tony occasionally making attempts to socialize with them - even though he still avoided briefings like the plague - made a bigger positive difference than expected. He was trusting again and could only hope that it wouldn't bite him in the ass.

"On three?" Steve gripped the end of the metal. Tony nodded, readying himself for the countdown. Only the senior citizen _bastard_ didn't even say a number before he ripped it out. The scream Tony let out made even Barton cringe.

"You're _such_ an asshole, Steve." Tony growled as Nat flipped the latches and rushed in getting the pieces off to toss them into the shield that Barton was manning. Everything but the plate pierced by the second shard was peeled off with ruthless efficiency as Steve held the wound on both sides of Tony's shoulder. Stripped of his suit, Steve and Natasha both helped Tony to his feet, and the three hustled out as fast as they could.

The stretcher was waiting as promised, the paramedics quick to run to the heroes' aid and get Tony supine with clean gauze pressing into the new hole in him. By that point, Tony was woozy and slower to respond, but the team tried to keep him talking anyway.

"Where the bad guys go?" Tony glanced around and saw only civilians milling around the relatively minor wreckage on the streets - mainly abandoned or crashed vehicles and a few more dismantled ordinance sites being cordoned off by SHIELD agents.

"Hulk heard his bro got hurt." Clint had a salvaged blanket draped over the collected armor parts. "So Hulk smashed." The entertained grin on the archer's face was far easier to focus on that the stoic and stressed expressions of Steve, Nat, and the med techs. "Anyone left scattered. SHIELD agents are in pursuit. Agents other than us, naturally."

"Right. Good. I'm just going to take a siesta in the nearest trauma center, and we'll talk later."

"What's my reward for suit rescue, huh?"

"You get to not fight a bunch of Iron Man knockoffs. And only if you take it straight back to my lab. No detours through SHIELD scanners, no putting it down anywhere."

"Dude, I know." Clint frowned. "Your intellectual property and all that. Even SHIELD couldn't treat that right. Jarvis will be the next thing your baby touches, I promise. It's like you don't trust a spy to keep a secret."

"I'm a paranoid asshole. It's gotten me places."

"Damn straight. But your suit is still safe with me."

"Alright, alright." Tony dropped his head back as they got the stretcher on wheels and rolled him into the ambulance. The paramedics climbed in after, followed by Bruce, who was in the process of pulling on a shirt. "Heeey, Brucie." Damn, this cab was dark. He heard a click and the steady beep of the monitors. Seemed faster than it should be, but he couldn't remember how it was supposed to sound.

Bruce briefly glanced at the screens out of Tony's line of vision, but smiled when he looked back and put a hand on Tony's forearm. "See you got yourself in trouble again."

"I'm starting to wonder if maybe Death has a crush on me."

"Only you could get a concept's immortal personification to fall in love with you." Bruce laughed a short exasperated breath.

"Norse gods exist," Tony slurred but couldn't right the words. "Why can't Death be a really powerful alien being somewhere too? We should ask Thor. Or Loki."

"Loki would sooner set us on fire rather than help. Immortals don't deal with Death enough anyway."

"Nah, I'd just pucker up, and he'd answer. He's s'ceptible to my charms like that."

Bruce made a bemused face, but Tony wasn't paying attention by that point. Why was it so hard to keep his eyes open? Looking around the cab for something to hold his attention wasn't working, and Bruce kept calling his name, but Tony was listening to the paramedics instead - something about BP and internal bleeding, whatever that mean. He could ask after he woke up.

"You have to stay awake for a little while longer, Tony, come on." Bruce was waving a distracting hand in front of Tony's face and gripping his arm harder.

"'M perfectly fine. Jus' need a bit a shut eye."

"No, stay awake. Tony? Tony!"

**xXx**

The metronome of the heart monitor heralded Tony's second slow return to consciousness, and a whole new landscape greeted him. "I'm really tired of this shit, guys."

"The asshole is back." Rhodey had his arms crossed where he stood in casual clothes at the end of Tony's hospital bed. But hey, private room. And the _really good painkillers, hot damn._

Bruce looked relieved from his seated position at the bedside, and Tony returned the smile before beaming at Rhodey.

"If I get one more message about someone trying to blow you up, I swear to god... How many times has this been?"

"Are we counting before Afghanistan too? Because I lost count in that case." Tony laughed a little at his friend's exasperation.

Rhodey gestured accusingly in Tony's direction. "It's getting ridiculous."

"What am I supposed to do? Avoid them more than I already am?"

"Fifth time in as many years, Tony." Rhodey bickered back.

"How many times did I break security protocol just trying to check on you when you were deployed? Fucking years spent shaking every time I heard of another team getting killed or injured or kidnapped and always thinking that it was you. Hell, it _was_ you a couple of times. And Afghanistan when my convoy went down, and all I'm trying to figure out is where your Hum-vee was and if yours was hit or-"

"And I spent four months trying to find where they'd stashed you, all after spending days trying to find your body in the wreckage and not knowing whether I wanted you alive and with them or dead in the back of a truck."

"Maybe we should give up on the 'I spent more time being concerned about you' game."

"Yeah, I'm going to agree." Sighing, he rubbed the bridge of his nose as all the irritation leaked from his squared frame. "You're still a dick for getting me worried. Again. The suits were supposed to prevent that."

"Yeah, well, this one was made to bypass my prevention attempts." He spit it out before giving proper thought to the idea, and then it clicked. If it was meant to be a fiery explosion kind of bomb, Tony's suit would literally be a part of him, fused to his very dead and burned body, but instead he got shrapnel. This was force, not fire. Kinetic energy, not a pyrotechnics show. Terrorists going for destructive force usually went for the big boom so the fire would destroy and spread further beyond the initial blast. So what was this?

"Why put a small yield bomb in an empty building with dummy and easy to defuse bombs everywhere else?" He mused out loud.

"Target first responders?" Bruce suggested.

"Then they wouldn't hide the real one in an abandoned building and stick dummies in the open. It's like trying to scare someone by yelling obscenities and setting off a firecracker in the street outside their house. Bang but no injury unless you're right up against it."

"All the others were stopped before they went off?" Rhodey questioned, and Tony shook his head just as Bruce nodded.

"This one _had_ stopped. Then it restarted a lot faster. It was one that was made to blow, no matter what. I need to look at the schematics on it."

"SHIELD has the scrap from it."

Tony groaned and flopped his head back on the pillow. Of course they did. And they wouldn't let Tony get so much as a peek at it until they had so thoroughly "gone over it" that it was nothing close to its original state. In other words: useless. "Another thing trying to kill me that I can't even figure out how. Getting real tired of this shit." He shifted a bit uncomfortably, acutely aware of all the bandages and needles and restrictions holding him as those hideous prickles along his spine returned to scramble his brain to repetitious static. He'd gotten rid of this _months_ ago, he thought, but now it was coming back tenfold right when he couldn't leave, and he _needed to leave_ -

"Hey, hey, take a deep breath, Tony." Rhodey had made it to his bedside without Tony's notice, Bruce standing on the other side, neither touching him, both calm presences. Rhodey's voice was strung into a steady tone, slow and even. "We've got you. It's just us."

"It's safe." Bruce added. "Just breathe. We're keeping you safe. You're okay here."

Tony eased a little at the assurances, then a little more after forcing himself into a regulated breathing pattern again. "I'm good. Minor one." The panic attacks had started after Loki's first visit to New York, and came and went in periods ever since. Begrudgingly, after continuous triggers during inconvenient times, Tony had conceded to tell exactly three human beings: Rhodey, Bruce, and Natasha, though she had pretty much figured it out herself. "Takes one to know one" she had commented, then recommended fifteen different methods to calm an attack both before and during an attack.

Tony had still been mending his friendship with Pepper, post-failed romance, so telling her didn't feel right at the time.

"Remind me to buy you two your own islands at some point. Now what's my verdict here? What drugs did they give me? I can't even _move_ this arm."

"Local paralytic alongside the painkillers, so you don't try to do something stupid and rip your stitches." Knowledge of the medical community said that it was the doctor's choice. Knowledge of Rhodey said that it was the doctor's choice to do what the Lt. Colonel recommended or else.

"Drugs have come a long way since our college days. I don't remember anything this good when I was trying them."

"I remember you convincing me to try a few, and the cops apologizing to _you_ for the inconvenience while trying to bust _me_ for possession."

"Got you off without a mark though, didn't I? Couldn't allow that mark on your record when you were aiming for Air Force. Took care of those cops later though, not that I told you." Tony stopped. "Shit, I don't like these drugs anymore."

"I'm not even surprised that I'm not surprised." Rhodey deadpanned.

"I'm going to stop now. Just give me a chart to snoop through or something."

Bruce held out a folder. "Your buddy requisitioned it after the doctor refused at first on grounds of us not being related." Nodding to Rhodey, who glanced away innocently in the universal "I have no idea what you mean" gesture. Being Tony's friend got Rhodey a lot of practice in that.

"Last thing I remember was passing out in the ambulance." Tony flipped open the chart to spy on his own health.

"That was eight hours and three surgeries ago. You had a lot of internal bleeding. And a lot of luck." The chart provided more detail - several dozen stitches inside and out, a couple of battered organs, minor contusions over thirty percent of his body, sizable contusions across his back, a mild concussion, and a minimum three week expectancy to stay under constant medical supervision, which Tony was already plotting on how he could evade.

Tony's first thought was that terrorists needed to stop with the bomb making. His second thought was that three weeks was going to be a long time without his tablet, and his third thought?

Loki was going to be _pissed_ when he found out.

But it was a bit late to avoid that now.

"Steve, Nat, and Clint were in a debrief with Fury, last I heard, but that was hours ago. I slipped them by saying someone had to stay with you. The excuse actually worked, surprisingly enough. Steve said he'd stop by when they finished."

"Steve got caught in extra meetings." Natasha said by way of announcing her entrance into the room. "He'll be a while longer." She'd changed out of her battle suit and back into civvies, as had Clint, who immediately took possession of Bruce's vacated chair. Natasha lurked behind Rhodey, a messenger bag on her shoulder and her thumbs in the belt loops of her jeans, giving Tony one of those looks that Tony had translated to mean either "I want to hug you" or "I'm resisting punching you" and frankly, it could be both. She'd had far too much training to show her emotions when she didn't want them known.

"What's Steve got extra face time for? Not to do with me, right?"

"Not everything's to do with you." Clint propped his legs up at the foot of Tony's bed, and Tony regretted not having the ability to kick them. "Though this time is."

Tony blinked just as Natasha sent reproving look. "I recall Fury telling us to keep quiet about it too."

"Fury's not gotten SHIELD bugs in here yet, and Tony would have found out anyway, so why not? You're not denying it, I notice."

"Because she would have said it in her own subtler way later, no doubt." Tony defended, and the quirk of Natasha's lips was all the answer he needed.

"SHIELD doesn't like leaks. Even among their own teams."

"I'm not part of SHIELD. I'm a consultant."

"You have access. That's enough. They don't like leaks. Or loose screws."

"How about loose cannons?"

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" She turned a little more serious now, but Tony was the one in a hospital bed, and it didn't feel the time for another one of those "you need to be careful" speeches that he got too many of already.

"I didn't realize SHIELD came attached with that risk."

"Fury isn't the top dog. He's just one of the bigger ones." Natasha said.

"Hold on, are you saying Tony is in danger from SHIELD?" Rhodey had had his arms crossed over his chest, but unfolded them as he turned back and forth between Natasha and Tony. "Is that what I'm hearing?"

"SHIELD is an intelligence _community_ , comprised of dozens of branches and hundreds of different loyalties to all different people. There are always going to be places where Tony is in danger because he's dangerous himself."

"Thank you."

"Shut up, Tony." Two different people should not be in that perfect a harmony.

"The more obvious he makes it that he's a threat, the more people will want to stop that. That's true outside of SHIELD just as much as it is inside. The thing that matters is who you trust."

"I trust you." Tony said easily and hated how he cringed a little inside after he said it. He'd trusted Obadiah too. "I trust you four right here. And Steve and Thor, I guess. Plus one other person."

"Them or us." Natasha parroted.

"Them or us." Tony sighed. He was just thankful they didn't ask for a name for the last one.

"That 'one other person' has a bite, don't they?"

Shit. Hospital gowns weren't exactly good for hiding certain marks on both sides of his throat.

"You jealous, Barton?"

"You kidding? You're enough to manage as a friend. God help the person you're fucking." Barton smirked with a little head tilt. "Or is it the other way around?"

"Those teeth marks? Tony's guy is clearly a dom. Though I could imagine switching being a thing."

"You can stop the psychoanalysis via my _bite marks_ , Romanoff." Why did he think it was a good idea to play along again? And yet, there was a thrill in the idea of getting away with it while they were staring straight at him.

"Tall, judging from the angle. Possessive, but you allow it; he doesn't force it on you. You both probably get off on the need." Natasha plowed on as Rhodey was donning the face he got when he was only selectively listening to Tony's latest exploits, and Bruce was just looking elsewhere and cleaning his glasses with the edge of his jacket. Barton, asshole that he was for starting it, was doing nothing but leering up at Tony, used to Natasha's latest invasive deductions.

"The only mystery is who he is, but there could be a dozen reasons you don't want people to know." She continued. "It's not because he's a he, you didn't even blink when Clint implied it, so you're okay with having an affair with a man, and it's not the first time someone's questioned your leanings. Caring about the public's opinion of you has also never been an issue, so that possibility is discarded. You're not hiding him for the sake of your own reputation then.

"That leaves his identity itself being an issue for either or both of you. Something scandalous that even you wouldn't dare to weather the backlash of. Maybe he asked for your secrecy for his own reasons, or maybe it was a non-verbal understanding from the start, but you're not going to say who it is. We could find out, you realize, but I'd rather not bother, and I'm not inclined to tell any of the higher ups of his association to you. It's not their business. I'm too busy trying to find someone for Steve anyway."

Tony frowned. "Wouldn't go for the nurse down the hall from him?"

"She presents a minor problem in that he's not going to be happy when he finds out she's SHIELD."

"Ah."

"Yeah. Steve's another whole job. He needs someone that fits with him. So do we all. You apparently managed to find yours, as evidenced by your... contentment in the past few months. And I'm not fucking with that."

"It'll fuck itself up anyway." Tony shrugged.

Natasha smiled softly. "Depends on who your mystery dom is. He might just be what you need. Just be happy with him. And if he goes too far, you know where to call us." The predatory glint was back in her eyes, and Tony was suddenly very glad he had her as a friend. It took long enough to get here, but she was invaluable.

They all were, in all their own ways. And Tony sorely needed that.

"Just not a word to Fury about it."

"Then you might want some cover up for those love bites. And because I'm so generous," she dug around in the bag, pulled out a tiny circular container of light tan cream, a tube of yellow cream, and a green-ish cream. She put a bit of yellow on her fingertip first before stepping around Rhodey and applying it to Tony's neck. "Pretty fresh. He make a habit of popping by in the mornings?"

She knew the answer; he could see it in her smile. "Doesn't need to if he stays the night."

"Letting someone watch you sleep. Didn't think I'd see the day." She moved onto the green, then to the skin-toned cream last. "Explains why you weren't answering calls though."

"He likes popping in unexpectedly. I don't turn him away."

"Should we have Jarvis notify him you're here?"

Tony actually had to consider it strongly before he answered. "No. I'll take care of it. I don't want him to worry."

Natasha looked less than appeased. Bruce's brow furrowed. "He's going to find out at some point."

"I have at least a week until he comes around again. It gives me a chance to look less like I've been blown up." Or so Tony reasoned, but he also had no way of contacting Loki. At all. Except the box... but no way was he exposing that little secret, and who knew if that thing worked twice? Maybe it was just a one trick thing. Or maybe it had more use than being a suspicious decorative piece because Loki wouldn't suffer the effort to make something only good once.

"Really, leave it. I'll work something out."

The Widow sighed and put the concealer back in her bag. "Then I'll have to wait to give you the real present I came here with."

Eh? Present? "What present?"

His eyes locked onto the tablet she pulled from the bag. "When you're good, you get good things."

"What, do I have to tell him I got caught in a bomb for you to give me my tablet?"

"I'm not that petty, Tony." She admonished lightly. "This is because you were too busy with mystery man's mouth that you showed up late. That's why."

"Oh, come on!"

The tablet was stashed back in her bag, and Tony couldn't have gotten it away from her even if he wasn't dosed up on a cocktail of meds. "Priorities. Don't forget them."

"You try keeping your focus in the lap of a guy with a mouth like his!"

"It's like you don't even know me."

Pouting, Tony fell silent, churlish, but he was going to force himself to spontaneously develop telekinesis, and he was going to get that damn tablet. Before he kicked the knee of everyone in the room that started laughing.

**xXx**

Steve resolutely stared straight into the mirrored glass, didn't say a word or move an inch out of the metal chair set up in this little interrogation room. Take away the high tech door locks and the intercoms, and this side of things really hadn't changed much. Seventy odd years and people still abided by these damn rooms that bred fear more than it found truth in questioning.

As much as things changed, just as much hadn't changed at all.

Six even beeps preceded the click of the door unlocking, a groan of un-oiled hinges rubbing the wrong way, and two pairs of footsteps.

"Thank you for coming, Captain Rogers." Phil Coulson sounded as placid as ever, intentionally non-threatening, and Steve didn't bother tearing his eyes off of the one-way window. Not for the man that pretended to be dead for two years as part of a ploy to get the Avengers together. A small part of Steve understood the well-meaning behind it, but manipulations still weren't high on his list of things to be easily forgiven.

"If this is about the team's _functionality_ again, I'm leaving." Steve stated evenly. If he enunciated one word with a bit more of an intoned dare, then so be it.

"You've been one to highlight his lack of team skills in the past, Captain."

"Stark is an asset."

"Being an asset isn't synonymous with being worth the trouble." So Deputy Director Hill was the other half of the tag team then. Joy. Two people that had prolific experience with Stark's stubbornness.

"I can count three dozen incidents by name and date when Tony's been priceless. Including the battle where _your_ council sent a missile into a civilian population." He broke eye contact with the mirror to lock gazes with Hill. "A lot of people, myself and the entire team you're relying on week after week included, would be dead if it weren't for Stark. Being a jackass doesn't cancel out being a hero that puts his life on the line to save people. There are a lot of things someone can do to get attention, but risking himself for others is not something to brush off."

"Neither is the liability Stark presents." Coulson added. "He's reckless-"

"So am I." Steve cut across with a hard look to the male agent.

"But Stark's recklessness is far more dangerous. If he turns against SHIELD, the fallout would level a dozen city blocks' worth of SHIELD quarters and thousands of lives within."

"You're judging him for an 'if' he does something bad. There's nothing to say that he will."

"He grows ever more antagonistic with SHIELD authorities every day. It's a likelihood by now, not a 'what if'. You read his file about the last organization he held a grudge against. Eighty percent of their outposts were slaughtered in a matter of weeks, all by Stark's own hand or by orchestration."

"The Ten Rings held him captive for months, tortured and threatened him and the other captive into coercion, and would have come back for Tony if he hadn't gone after them. Unless you're planning on doing the same, I think you're safe." But then again, SHIELD had taken "bad" captives before, and what happened to them? Stark freely voiced his disagreements, but he wasn't the only one to think them.

Hill grimaced and crossed her arms. "We're trusting you to be objective here, Captain. I'd appreciate an honest, unbiased opinion."

"Stark is an asset." Steve repeated levelly. "Anyone should be able to see that. Even your own agents on the damn team."

"They're biased too." Coulson added. "Clint's pulled from the opposite side before. He has too much faith in people's good side to see when they're going too far. He always thinks they can be saved."

As if Natasha wasn't proof of that.

"But you don't." Steve scoffed. "An intelligence agency that fears intelligence."

"This isn't intelligence we're fearing, Captain Rogers; it's a potential turncoat that has the power to level us all by himself." Coulson bit out in frustration before realizing the slip and schooling himself back into calm. "Power corrupts, and people with less influence than Stark has have gotten insane with it. We're expressing our concerns to you because we want to trust your willingness to speak up if Stark steps over the line. We know you're a great man, but we're asking you to be a character judge."

"I'll let you know." The soldier stood without permission and squared his shoulders. "I'd like to return to my team now, agent. Ma'am."

Hill and Coulson shared a look, and then Coulson held out a tablet. "One more thing before you go." Hill narrated as Coulson tapped on a thumbnail and expanded it to the whole screen: a video clip of what looked like Tony's personal floor in Stark Tower. "Do you remember a couple of months ago when Stark's tower was attacked? He was out at the time, but his AI had been disabled."

"Yeah, he called me when he found out." And within days, the rest of the Avengers had moved onto their own floors, specially designed for each of them. "What about it?"

"We brought in the perpetrator a few weeks ago."

"What? Why didn't you tell Tony?"

"Because the would-be assassin gave us this. He was wearing a body camera for proof of death to give to his bosses. This was a small section of the footage."

Coulson tapped the play button on cue. A handgun was barely visible at the edge of the screen, a tactical flashlight held to the top to light the way. The assassin came to what looked like Tony's bedroom door and pushed it open slowly, inch by inch when there was a loud clatter inside the room. He (assumed he, at least) threw the door open and found a chair on the floor, still rocking from the drop, but there was no one visible. The gun was lowered, but the flashlight stayed up as he looked around the room in obvious confusion. He turned back to the open door just as Tony appeared with a flicker like a TV glitch, wide-eyed and staring back. They both startled back from each other, but the assassin raised his gun faster, and Tony stumbled back. _"Back, back, here is bad!"_ He shouted, tripping over the fallen chair and flickering out before he could hit the floor.

The video clip came to a stop. Coulson folded it back to his chest again. "This was taken almost an hour before Stark got around to contacting you. Last we were aware, Stark wasn't capable of teleportation."

"He looked surprised." Steve was still dumbfounded and confused.

"We're only aware of one person on earth that can perform teleportation in quite that manner."

Yeah, Steve had seen it enough to recognize it - Loki. "You think Tony's in league with Loki? He fights the guy every other week, just like the rest of us."

"And Loki remains on the streets." Hill said. "We don't know what the association is, but there _is_ a connection. This is why we didn't tell him we caught the guy that nearly killed him. Good guys don't lie about villains saving them."

And good guys weren't supposed to skate over the other details of the video too. But here they were. "I'm assuming you don't want me to talk to Tony about this?"

"No, we need to find out more first." Coulson stressed. "Don't mention a word of it to Stark or Banner. Or Thor, for that matter. We don't know whose side he's on either. We've been trying to find out just how deeply Loki is involved with Tony or vice versa, but we've got nothing. Until we do, this is above top secret information."

"Then if there's nothing else, I'll be leaving now."

Coulson frowned as Hill sighed, but they stepped aside to open the door. "Keep us informed, Captain." Hill strongly suggested.

Steve gave a tight smile. "With all the pertinent information, I will, ma'am. I'll walk myself out." He didn't need to physically touch them to shoulder past the agents and leave them and their paranoia to their underground bunkers.

Good guys didn't lie about villains saving them, not without good reason. Everyone had different reasons for leaving out little details. Steve expected that SHIELD's reason for hiding that the assassin used a familiar gun was not going to be as good as Tony's reason for keeping Loki a secret. If SHIELD was trying to use that clip as a method to turn Steve against Tony, it failed. There was more to both sides, and Steve was going to shovel through them all.


	7. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To learn one thing and to be clueless to others. Returns, hard truths, and unpleasant conversation topics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another complete sexless chapter! Some little kisses.

The second that Thor's feet were steady on the roof of Stark Tower, he was moving again. Straight downstairs to the privacy of his own floor without straying to check on the others, but it was far enough into the night that they could surely wait a short time for him to finish his task while his mother's advice was still fresh in his mind.

 _"Sir,"_ Jarvis attempted as soon as Thor was in range of a speaker, _"I must inform you of a matter that has befallen-"_

"Silence! I have my own matters to attend to first. Speak of it afterwards, I want no disturbances whatsoever."

This spell was complex and difficult to prepare, even more so to perform. He had to get through it while he still remembered the rushed learning he'd accomplished the past few days in Asgard. It took nearly an hour of careful and slow preparation, another ten minutes of stilted chanting to ensure every word was perfect. This wasn't how he wanted to speak to his brother - summoning his attention by spell work was not in Thor's skill set, but it was the only way Thor knew had any chance of gaining Loki's audience. Even then, the summoning was more of a request like ringing a bell rather than pulling Loki against his will. It was Thor's best chance to speak with his brother, and it was still entirely dependent on Loki indulging the unorthodox call.

If he did answer, what then? Thor hadn't gotten much farther than knowing he had questions that only Loki could answer, and there was always the possibility of some hint hidden in Loki's words. If Loki didn't answer... Then he didn't. There was no way to control how soon Loki appeared. At his leisure, it could be ten seconds or three days. Knowing Loki, it would be at an inappropriate enough time so as to avoid having to answer anything. Yet still Thor tried for the blind hope of _anything_ to guide him.

"Did Mother give you the spell as a hint or did you have to beg?"

Thor stumbled to his feet and turned. Loki was giving him a peeved look of annoyance mixed with curiosity.

"Please tell me you had to beg."

"She... suggested strongly."

"Pity. I prefer the other mental image."

Thor knew he wasn't doing very well at hiding the emotion from showing on his face - shock, concern, and relief cycling through as fast as his lightning. Try though he did to school himself, it didn't work, and Loki's soured expression made it clear what his brother thought of the sight.

"I hadn't thought you'd come."

"You labored and risked the effects of a spell beyond your capabilities because you thought I wouldn't come?" Thor knew that tone well and could hear the unspoken "you're an idiot" hanging in the air. "Why perform a task you assumed would be fruitless?"

"I knew you would hear." He rushed to defend himself, eyes following as Loki began to pace. "Mother showed me how to cast this spell, told me how to ensure its success in reaching you. Of all people, Loki, you should know of her fine teachings."

The snarl that Loki pulled wasn't unexpected; Thor almost thought it would be worse. "Well then?" Loki snapped and spun on his heel to prompt Thor with an expectant wave of one hand. "You called, I came. Was there a reason beyond annoying me, brother?" His pacing resumed restlessly.

"I wished to discuss Tony Stark."

Loki didn't so much as pause to twitch. "What about the man? Shouldn't this be a discussion to have with your darling human friends?"

"They have no knowledge of Stark's intimate affairs. You do."

"Oh?" He glanced back fleetingly and kept on his circuitous path. Absolutely no reaction otherwise. He hadn't gained the name of Liesmith from being a bad liar. Good liars did so with their entire being, not just their words.

"You are a part of them, after all." That time, Loki did stop. Their sights met as Loki brazenly stared him in the eye, but he didn't look upset or surprised at the situation. "You won't deny your affairs with Stark?" He couldn't help it; Thor might have smiled a little. Loki looked far from amused.

"And what business are his affairs of yours? Who or if he is intimately involved with and what they do is no matter to you and certainly nothing to your friends. It doesn't concern you."

"If you say so, brother." Thor regretted it the second the small laugh toppled out with his exhale.

"What are you to do with your new found secret then? Rat him out to your Avengers? Tell him you know of it? Do it; it makes no difference to me. Tony hasn't enough sense to look abashed of the discovery."

"You know what would happen if others found out."

"Yes." Loki grinned and circled closer.

"You know nothing of what you speak. He would not last long enough for you to save him. The laws here are of a 'guilty by association' mindset, and they wouldn't waste a cell on him for more than an hour before they cut out the cancer of a traitor in their population."

"Do you threaten, dear brother, or merely _kindly inform_ me of this?" His eyes narrowed as he challenged, almost as if he wanted it to be a threat.

Thor only smiled ruefully. "I wouldn't threaten for this. My only thoughts are of preserving both of your safeties. They would try to use him against you, you realize." Who "they" were needn't be said; several powerful entities would surface for the chance to find a weakness for either Loki or Tony. "I am not sure which possibility worries me more - that you would not come for him and leave Tony to bear the hurt of both betrayals, or that you would come and they would entrap you with him. Escape might be possible, but it would be foolish to leave without Tony after all of that, and it would cut you both off from your homes. Neither are futures I care for, and so if you trust nothing else that I say, please, trust just that."

Silence smothered them, Thor mutely trying to assure his sincerity by way of purposefully leaving his expression open instead of continuing to chatter and clog the mind, while Loki merely stared back. "I will hold you to that," he finally said, quiet and heavy, "or else, I'll cut out your tongue for betrayal."

"I would deserve it for such a crime." Thor replied agreeably, and added, "I swear on Mother's wrath."

A smile turned at the edge of Loki's lips, one of but a handful of genuine smiles Thor had seen on Loki in years. "A strong oath then."

"A solemn one." Thor found himself smiling as well. "You know I would never wish to incur Mother's rage."

"None in the Nine would." Only a few moments were allowed before Loki's smile broke, and he heaved a sigh. "However, I don't see what the point was calling me here for this. I'm well aware of the risks Stark and I are taking. It bears no weight against our decision to continue regardless."

"You care for him?" It wasn't the first occasion Thor had seen Loki take a lover he truly loved, but it had been a long time and many heartbreaks since he dared to try again.

Loki's expression contorted with distaste again. "Don't impress your hopes upon me, brother. That is my matter alone. There is never a single reason for keeping a secret such as this."

"Why did you bother to come if you only wished to mock me?" It came out spiteful no matter what Thor intended, but Loki was doing nothing but leading Thor to walls that Loki had erected himself. Directing the conversation only to shut down at answering anything. Against his will, Thor's little patience was wearing thinner and thinner.

"Because I've yet to break you as completely as I want. I can't have you give up on your brotherly love before that."

Offense swelled in him, and he took a long step forward to grab at Loki, but his fingers slipped through the clone, and Loki laughed behind him. "You test me!"

"Now there's the brother I know." Loki looked vindicated at the outburst, laughing again to cover it all.

"Why are you doing this? Seducing Stark, stealing these baubles anywhere you can find them, taunting us all!"

"Because it's _fun_. Perhaps I seek a higher throne than earth and Asgard combined and fancy Stark to be the lovely pet kneeling by my feet. Perhaps Stark is simply a good lay, and I simply prefer the baubles safe in my hands rather than the wrong ones bent on deciphering their power. Perhaps that is my only plan - to keep them safe and myself entertained. Or I could just be waiting for the opportune moment to slaughter him when he's of no further value and make off with my treasures. Perhaps it's only your assumption that I'm _involved_ with Stark at all."

"But you said-"

"I lie. Have you forgotten already? Allowing this lie is so very fun too. And I'm unlikely to spill my truths and swear honesty to _you_ of all people. " Loki spat and then grinned as he pulled himself up tall. "Think as you'd like, brother. And enjoy my show."

Loki's form flickered and vanished, and Thor was left with a bitter concoction of regret and anger prickling under his skin. He shouldn't have lashed out, but curbing his impulses had never been easy where his brother was involved. And now had he made it worse? No, Loki hadn't changed. He only gained more toys to use against Thor. And now Tony was one of them. Intimate connections or not, he was still a toy whose fate rested in Loki's machinations, and if Thor chose to mention his findings to anyone, it could be a death sentence for Tony.

"What did you want of me, Jarvis?" Thor started cleaning up the spell's leftovers before any of the Avengers could come upon them and question it.

_"Master Stark was injured in a fight. He's in the hospital."_

**xXx**

It took almost two days before Natasha relinquished Tony's tablet, and it was begrudgingly even then. It took only two hours before she tried to take it away again because he was ignoring his friends in favor of chatting with Jarvis. Careful and secure placement of holding it over one of his wounds was the only thing that stopped her from grabbing it, and he did have to keep it there for some time, all while she was glaring heavily, waiting for the moment he stopped clutching the tablet to his chest, but she did win in the sense of getting him to talk to her and Clint while they were in the room.

They were only visiting and staying in pairs this time, switching off every six hours or so, and then the next pair of his friends would come to hang out. Sometimes it was Clint and Natasha, sometimes it was Steve and Bruce, other times Bruce and Rhodey or Clint and Rhodey. Having actual conversations or just being silent company and signing obscenities and insults to his favorite cheeky archer depended on the mood of the hour, but Tony just appreciated not being alone in the room for those too short stretches of time that visitors were allowed during the day and then the few extra hours that the Avengers _insisted_ upon despite the hospital staff's reticence. Saying no to the people that had rescued the city/world/general earth area a few hundred times was not a very good idea.

Day six, after a starstruck to the point of near-flirting male nurse switched out Tony's IV drugs and nearly spilled Tony's lunch tray on his lap, the latest visiting Avenger pair had stepped out for a few minutes and left Tony alone to his tablet, playing with more suit designs and maybe a thicker alloy for the Mark 51, but he'd already come to the unwavering conclusion during the previous four dozen suits that thicker meant heavier and heavier meant less agile. In some cases, it even meant reduced or nonexistent flight capabilities. Not a good thing for fights.

Then like all things that required delicacy and careful stepping, Thor burst the door open like a wrecking ball, shouting Tony's name louder than the sound of the door slamming into the wall. Tony felt a couple stitches tug the wrong way as he startled with an undignified shriek, and even cursing for a solid seven seconds didn't get his heart rate back down.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Thor, I am not in a condition for scares like that. Cut down on the loud noises, will you?"

"Jarvis told me. I came as soon as I heard."

"Welcome back to earth." Tony exhaled another deep breath and switched off his tablet screen, setting it to the side for later. "Any news?"

"Asgard can wait; are you well?"

Tony tucked his chin for the best "are you shitting me" look he had. "What do you think?"

Thor looked abashed and shook his head. "I should have been here. I could have helped."

"Not with a bomb, you couldn't have. Now c'mon and tell me about Asgard. Steve and Clint should be back soon, but get me started. Anything on Loki's newest collection?"

The god shrugged and slumped into the chair with an exhausted sprawl. "The mages are as useful as they ever are in time-sensitive matters, which is to say not at all. The only thing that connects the artifacts is that they were lost or placed on earth. They share no common powers, no common origin for them all, nor are they parts for some great spell of power. For most intents and purposes, they are unrelated aside from their current owner. But they are valuable. I have no idea what Loki wants with them." His frown deepened into a petulant scowl as he looked away. "And he would not tell me if I asked. He would never answer my call."

"So we're just as close as ever. Which is to say, not at all." Tony concluded similarly with a sigh and a weak shrug. Asking Loki directly didn't even cross Tony's mind once. That wasn't what their affair was for. "So we just get to sit back and enjoy Loki's show then."

Thor's head shot up in wide-eyed surprise, but Tony couldn't see the big deal about what he said. Before he could ask though, Thor's face softened in defeat and... suspicion? "You remind me of my brother at times. So much so that I wonder how it could have rubbed off between the two of you."

Rubbing and Loki was not a good mental image to dwell on at the moment, so Tony passed that over. "Gee, that's... I'm going to be honest, I'm not even sure if you mean that as a compliment or not. Maybe it's just all that battlefield sass that egoists spout."

"I miss his company and his loyalty in the past as much as I value having yours in the present. I miss many things regarding Loki, but I cannot go back to the way things were. It seems my 'happier days' were not as blissful for Loki." He shook his head and heaved a gusting sigh. "Had the Norns allowed better than this heartbreak they have playing for us now, I think the two of you could have been great companions in another reality."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." His face is stonier than Tony would have considered appropriate for the conversation when Thor continued: "You both have remarkable poker faces when you lie."

What? No. That wasn't even possible. There was no way he could have any idea.

Tony opened his mouth to refute, and then the door opened to Clint and Steve's return. Tony's mouth promptly clapped shut. He glanced back to Thor, but the Thunderer was turning to the new company with more platitudes than he gave Tony, and repeats of the same lack of news from Asgard. Tuning that out was more pleasant than listening, but the alternative was thinking on the how and why Thor seemed to be implying Loki "rubbing off" on Tony. The confusion was that neither Tony nor Loki had made any insinuations to it in the company of the Avengers, and it wasn't like Loki would tell Thor of his own volition. It must have been something else Thor was trying to be subtle about?

But that didn't make any sense either.

The lesson learned was: don't try to decipher subtle hints from people known for being brutally straightforward. Figuring them out was frustrating, and half the time, the conclusion reached after hours of stress tended to not be what the whole point was in the first place.

So now it became more about being more secretive with his secrets. As if he wasn't already. Well, except for a few almost exhibitionistic occasions. Maybe cut out the vague innuendo comments related to Loki, fun as treading the line was. Not getting locked up for treason was more fun.

"That was Fury on the phone."

Tony focused on the conversation again and looked up to Steve. "What about him?"

"Your medical leave extends five days after whenever your hospital release date. No exceptions, no loopholes, he made sure to specify."

"Aw, come on-"

"No ripping stitches. He can't order you, but he's ordered us to get you off the field if you try to get on." Steve said sternly. Captain Tightass kept trying to set all these suggested restrictions on Tony since the morning after the incident when Steve came to visit Tony. They were ones intended to keep Tony safe, by all appearances, but Tony kept getting the feeling Steve wasn't saying something.

"And you follow orders so well, Rogers."

"I agree for once. We don't need a stress putting you back in the hospital." Steve took up the chair this time, and Clint nudged Tony's feet out of the way to sit on the end of the bed. "These aren't his orders I'm following - I'm worried about you getting hurt." Hiding something or no, that sounded genuine enough.

"You know I have trouble getting mad at you when you're worried about me."

"We haven't already noticed that at all." Clint said.

"You're all evil people, and I don't know why you're my friends."

"You can't hate an immortal puppy dog," Clint nodded to Thor eying the bandage visible at the edge of Tony's hospital gown and looking upset, "I need say nothing more on Rogers, and me? I'm lovable. We tend to gravitate towards like kind, asshole, so what's that say about you?"

"That I make poor life choices?"

"I'm beginning to think we all do." Steve lamented. "If you're good, Tony, it's getting late, and we'll get more admonishing looks from the staff if we stay too much longer."

"You learn to ignore them after a while." Tony certainly had when they gave long glares at his tablet. "Sweet dreams, fellas." 

"Have fun designing." Clint wished as he got back to his feet and started leading the way out, ushering a protesting Thor along the way.

"Best work's at night!" Tony called to the retreating Avengers.

As soon as the door closed, Tony took a deep breath and turned the tablet screen back on. "Jarvis, pull up the schematics of that field generator I tried to make a while back." Another idea sketched out after being awake for too long, but he hadn't yet revisited the design for improvements or trashing.

_"The design is uploading now. Shall I include the suits eligible for an upgrade as well?"_

"That is the plan. Dazzle me, sweetheart."

**xXx**

Twelve days into his hospital stay, and Tony was going stir crazy. They allowed him to walk a couple times a day, to go to the bathroom all on his own, and eat actual food, but his tablet wasn't enough of a replacement for an entire workshop. Manipulating designs could only go so far before he needed to build prototypes for testing. His friends kept him company when they could, but they still had to maintain normal sleeping schedules and go home at night. Once or twice, one of them would try to stay, but Tony's staunch rejection kept that horrible idea from coming to fruition.

Several times a day, people would just come in to see him. Everyone would come in to _see_ him. Aside from talking, there wasn't enough _action_ , and it was maddening in every way possible. Tony opted to sleep during the day when one of the Avengers, Rhodey, or Pepper was there, and stayed awake at night once paranoia caught up with him, and the idea of being vulnerable threw his circadian rhythm way off balance. The more he thought of it, the more his body couldn't allow him to sleep when he didn't feel safe. He felt safe when his friends were there. He told Rhodey as much, and then his friend didn't mind hanging around in silence so much. He _trusted_ , and though he wasn't without the niggling worry and anxiety that came with everyone he started to care about, being able to rely on them was a nice feeling.

Having some hellfire red-haired nurse he'd never seen before now come in, a tablet in her hands of his records, sliding through them before she even looked up at him, was not encouraging a pleasant feeling. She was shorter than average in height with a heart-shaped face and a slender body with only the faintest curves in her figure. Her hair was French-braided back, the tail of it long enough to drape over one shoulder and still reach her ribcage. Attractive and the type whose company Tony always enjoyed but peroxide blonds with silicone figures tended to be looser in virtue.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Stark." She started off the perfunctory pleasantries distractedly. It was time for Tony's nap, but no one had shown up again yet, so he was still awake despite it being almost four in the afternoon already. She finally tucked the tablet into the crook of her elbow and met his eyes. "How are we doing today?"

"Same as usual: little better than yesterday, not as good as tomorrow. Been kind of dizzy in sporadic bursts. Little nausea. Isn't that what you're here for, nurse..." He led off leadingly, looking for the new girl's name since she didn't have a visible name tag. Shifts changed, he knew that, but a sudden new face after twelve days? "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name."

"Giselle Leone." She introduced with a practiced fake smile. "And you wouldn't have. I'm usually in outpatient care, but they transfer us around every once in a while, and I volunteered for this ward." Setting the tablet up on the table, she glanced to his hospital gown. "Now let's have a look at those sutures, shall we? Shoulder first, if you will, Mr. Stark."

No alarms went off in Tony's mind during her story, so he pulled the blanket away and used his good hand to tug the gown far enough down to allow Nurse Leone access to the first wound. Long, gentle fingers peeled away the gauze tape and attached pad, and she gave a critical look to the jagged mark just below his clavicle. It was healing well, honestly, but it still looked like hell. She stared for long moments before mechanically changing the old pad for a clean one, unreadable emotion flickering across her face like most of the professionals Tony had seen through here, but there was something more with hers. He was just hoping it wasn't nausea.

"Um, you have seen scars before, right?"

"Far more than you have, I'm quite positive. Now your abdomen?" She prompted, already helping him to move the gown and the blanket further, stopping just above his groin, and pulling the bandage back there too. The site was viewed with the same shrewdness as before, and she returned to root through the box of sterile bandages once more. "So tell me how you feel you're coming along. Is your healing rate on par, or have you had many issues thus far? A chart can only tell me so much; I'd like to hear it from you."

"Pretty usual. Lot of bleeding when the shrapnel came out-" Giselle's eye twitched at one corner "-but that thing kind of happens with bombs. I'm sorry, but you look really familiar, and I'm mostly sure we haven't met before."

Giselle grins, and it was then all too familiar where he'd seen those displeased looks before. "You're wrong on both accounts."

"No." Tony lowered his voice to a rough stage whisper. "You do know that there are probably listening devices all over the place, right?"

"I took care of that." Giselle replied simply.

"You did not just shapeshift and sneak into my hospital room!"

"Why not?" Loki frowned with "Giselle's" face even though the act was gone. "The Avengers fought, and you did not. I came to your tower to look for you, but Jarvis said you had been injured in a previous battle. I had to be sure you weren't dying just when you were becoming so very skilled at learning me."

"Wow, that's some overwhelming sentiment there." Tony spat back.

"Our revenge fucks were never intended to bring about _sentiment._ They were to bring physical satiation." She raised her chin, haughty and distant and displeasingly cold.

So they were to the "deny affection" stage of their affair. That was going to have to be fixed. "Yet here you are, sneaking into a human hospital to make sure your booty call is healing up alright."

The offense that narrowed Giselle's eyes and set her jaw was the same that sharpened Loki's male face. "You dare to-"

"I'm saying you were concerned because you like me. Jesus, Loki, it's not like I'm pledging marriage here. We're good at sex. We're better at sex together. 'Like' is allowed to happen. You don't have to get pissed off about it."

"'Like' isn't allowed to happen. _This_ -" she stabbed a finger in the air towards Tony's shoulder wound, "-is what will always happen. Fragile mortals and your fragile lives." The disgust she coated her words with was nearly believable. "No, Tony, it's not to be allowed."

"I'm not dead-"

"You will be. By time or by the hand of another, you will always end up here."

"Then I'll fix that. You think I don't research ways to get on the immortality bandwagon?"

Loki rolled her eyes and turned on her heel. "Your science is not capable of that."

"I'll make it capable of it. Will you be _allowed_ to like me then?"

"You'd be insufferable as an immortal." Loki stated seriously.

"And I'm not now?"

"I can leave now."

"And yet you're not."

Loki was livid when she spun around, but the anger fractured to self-deprecation far sooner than Loki surely meant it too. "Yet I'm not."

"Being 'allowed' has fuck all to do with what actually happens. Case in point being our entire affair. So hitch up your bright blue scrub pants and admit it."

"Perhaps I have grown attached to your lack of compunction over our... relationship." Loki admitted with a bit of a sour expression.

"Say it: you _do_ like me that little bit." Tony grinned, and Loki fell victim to Tony's contagious smile and smirked back lightly.

"As I said, the lack of strings is incredibly appealing."

"You _like_ me. The words aren't poisonous."

"I... am fond of your company."

"Fine, I'll allow that wording, you cheat." Loki began to lean in as if to kiss Tony but was stopped with a finger to her lips. "But I'm not going to kiss whoever's skin you're wearing."

"I've stolen no one's face. It's only a different version of my own." He defended but changed back anyway, still wearing those ridiculous scrubs, and wrapped his lips around the tip of Tony's finger. Tony wasted no time moving his hand to the back of Loki's neck and pulling him in for a gentle, unhurried kiss.

"I take it you started another fight because you were horny?"

" _Was_ , past tense. The priority has rather weakened in the face of new revelations." Loki's focus fell to the still visible bandage on Tony's shoulder.

"And if you heal me temporarily for a little-" He started, but Loki cut him off.

"The pain would be much worse when I returned you to your injured state, yes. Simply masking the pain would only open the door to you hurting yourself unknowingly."

"Shit."

"I had similar summations." Loki said stiffly.

"Climb into bed anyway." Tony patted the marginal sliver of unoccupied mattress edge. "Because like hell am I letting you leave already, and doctors can't stop me from sucking face with my lover."

Loki gave a long-suffering sigh and glanced back to the door before returning to Tony with a smile and stealing another kiss that was still, frankly, pretty fucking gentle. There wasn't even any _tongue_ , for god's sake. No hungry, ravenous, soul-consuming desperation, just tenderness and unspoken words. _"I've missed you. I'm glad you're okay."_ Things they wouldn't say out loud.

"They found the bites, by the way."

Loki's eyes glittered with interested glee. "Did they? How did they like them?"

"Nat was surprisingly cool about it. And she's actually keeping it secret from Fury, but the whole team now knows I've got a tall, mysterious boyfriend with mutually favored possessive tendencies."

"Won't it be fun when they find out just how right they are?" He was just moving in with an adjustment of body angle that was a very obvious precursor to straddling Tony's thighs when there was a brief knock, and the door swung open without waiting for a response. Tony could only panic for a split second before realizing that Loki was already Giselle again as she pulled out an alcohol wipe from her pack on Tony's table.

"Oh," Bruce hesitated at the door too late, already having ruined Tony's hope for a moment with his incognito lover. "Sorry, I'll come back later."

"I'm going to be asleep later. Just get in here." Tony insisted with a pointed jerk of his chin.

The scientist looked pointedly at the nurse who hadn't acknowledged his entrance just yet. "It's Avengers business, to be honest."

"And?"

"It's better as a private conversation."

"I don't allow company that can't keep a secret. Right, Nurse Leone?"

Loki smiled sweetly back at Tony and finally looked over her shoulder to Bruce. "We're all professionals here, Dr. Banner. Patient confidentiality extends to nurses as well, particularly patients like Mr. Stark. Your secrets are secure with me."

Bruce looked dubious. "I'll wait."

Tony groused, but Loki just smiled placidly. "I'll just be a moment." Loki placed a fresh gauze pad on Tony's abdominal wound, and Tony watched those slender fingers work the same precision and grace caring for an injury as a woman as he did throwing knives as a man. Deft and sure, she finished quickly, packed up the kit, gave them both a nod, told Tony she'd peek in on him again later, and then left.

Bruce watched her go and made sure she continued down the hall before closing the door behind himself and turning to Tony again. "There was a fight today - Atlantic City. Loki started it, but it was directionless mischief, at best." He paused with a shift of his jaw. "He was looking for you, Tony."

"Why do you say that?" Tony was replacing his gown and blanket to more modest places, only half-listening to Bruce.

"Because he cornered Steve and demanded to know where you were and why you weren't there." That got Tony's attention back on Bruce.

Tony tried to look surprised. "So I have another crazy fan. Fun."

"Loki looking for you is not good, Tony." Bruce admonished.

"What's he going to do, Bruce? Throw me out a window? Stab me? Enchant Jarvis to play the bagpipes over the team comms every time we get too close to catching him? So three years ago, so twenty months ago, and so seven months ago. If Loki was going to do anything serious to me, he would have made the move by now. He probably just wanted to inflict another weird something or other." He made a noncommittal and weak shrug with his uninjured shoulder. "Did anyone tell him what happened to me?"

"Of course not." Shuffling forward to retake his usual bedside seat, Bruce deflated into it with exhaustion and tension both vying for control of his muscles. "Steve refused to say anything more than that you were off-duty, but-"

"Then it's a non-problem." Worrying about him was sweet and all, but they were a bit late in getting here to "save" him from Loki. "Any malicious intent will be aimed at places I crash during off-duty time, none of which are places that I actually am at the moment."

"Loki will think to look for you in the hospital at some point. We still don't know if he's the one that shut your tower down months ago."

"He wasn't."

Bruce raised his eyebrows at the quick answer. "How are you sure?"

"If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead, and he wouldn't need to take my tower out of commission to do it."

"Loki wanting you dead doesn't mean he'll kill you right away. What if it's a longer game he's in for? Take away your security first, your confidence, your protection, your team..."

"Brucie, you're starting to sound like you've been thinking on this a lot." It was said teasingly. Tony was anything but.

"I have been." Bruce confessed quietly. "We all have." He shifted uncomfortably and leaned in closer. "Tony, SHIELD has been voicing concerns for and about you. They can protect their agents; Thor, Steve, and I aren't going anywhere; but you're always going to have less protection outside of what you've created. And if someone takes that away, and your guard is down or off or broken..." He led off, knowing Tony would be following his train of thought.

"I'm a weak link. That's what SHIELD and Fury are saying - that I'm weak." And rage returned with hot prickles up his spine and a clench of his stomach.

"No-" Bruce started then stopped with a sigh. "Yes. Not in so many words, but that's the gist of it. You're not weak. I know that, and everyone else on the team knows it. You're _not_ weak. But you do have weaknesses."

"And mine are that much worse?"

"Yours are the type that Loki has a history of trying to exploit. Take away a strong man's strength, and he's easy to cut down. Those are your weaknesses. You dying or getting hurt is a weakness to us. If you can't take on an army-"

"Take on the man." Tony finished.

"One by one."

"If Loki wanted that, he wouldn't make it so easy to figure out. He'd go about it some other way. He's a trickster, for fuck's sake."

 _"It's impossible to discern whether I will kill you or fuck you."_ Loki had said that first night. _"Perhaps the better question is what I'll do first."_

_"I saw, I wanted, I took... I had to make sure you were properly distracted."_

_" I don't care for the idea of them finding out and trying to convince you away from me."_

What if that was the plan all along? Distract and lure away, and when Tony was isolated, take him out for good. Hurt the Avengers and cut their numbers. Bit by bit by bit until Loki didn't have anyone stopping him. Who cared if world domination wasn't the actual end game? He didn't need to rule it to enjoy playing with it.

Chaos. His own making.

The plan was brilliant, if Tony could say so himself. Cruel, but brilliant.

Loki was a brilliant actor and liar, but some things couldn't be faked.

_" You're far more entertaining alive."_

_"I like our simplicity... It is the minds of others that complicate this... I want you. You want me."_

Soft smiles, greedy hands, and kisses that lasted, those couldn't be faked through every moment. Not the honesty in those three words uttered without hesitation. _I trust you._ Casual little names of affection and sweet touches were easy to fake for a camera, but you could feel it in person. Feel the warmth or feel the distance. Of all people, Tony would know.

Seducing Tony would have been a good plan, if only Loki hadn't started to enjoy the affair.

"The Trickster will have to work new tricks because he's not getting to me the way you're assuming."

Bruce sighed and dropped his gaze to the sheets. "I know it's useless to tell you to be careful-"

"You'd be right."

"- _but please be aware of Loki._ " Bruce finished sternly, staring hard into Tony's eyes. "Loki doesn't kid around. He hits hard, and he hits right where he wants to. I don't want your internal organs to be his bulls-eye, alright? Avoiding that means avoiding provoking him too."

"Provoke? I don't provoke."

Bruce's look of disdain said enough about what he thought of that claim.

"Fine, I'll be _aware._ Happy?"

"Not until I know everyone is safe from an alien mastermind."

"You'll live a sad life, buddy."

He shrugged. "It has its moments. You want to sleep while I'm here?"

Tony grinned lopsidedly against his will. "Am I that obvious?"

"Just rest. I'll look out for you."

"Thanks, Bruce. I mean it."

"I know. It's why I'm okay with it."

Bruce wasn't a sexy frost giant in disguise sitting on his lap, but he was something that Loki wasn't - someone to lean on when he was weak. Loki was wonderful, but so far, it was sex and unexpected feelings, and there were more things needed in life. Tony always did want it all - money, fame, sex, and trust, but that last one was the hardest to come by and the easiest to lose. He wanted Loki; he loved having the god around, but he could only have what Loki was willing to give. If Loki was only willing to screw around, then it was pointless to look for the long-term.

At the very least, he could thank the bomb for reminding him who he trusted. And also who he didn't.


	8. Aftercare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is boring in a hospital.

The subject was broached in the best way Tony knew – out of the blue and straight to the point.

“I think it’s time that a certain mysterious boyfriend finds out that I’m in the hospital.”

Loki gave him a bland look and reclined further in his sprawling seated position with one leg propped on the edge of Tony’s bed and the other stretched out in front of the guest chair. “And as you’re unlikely to call, I suppose your mystery lover will have to seek you out then. Captain Rogers or Agent Romanoff would be the most sympathetic, I think."

"They should be back from DC late tomorrow. Go with Natasha. And have fun selling it."

"I know how to lie, Tony. Her lifetime of spreading subterfuge is but a fraction of mine."

Tony held up his hands in surrender at Loki's glare. "I believe you. I'm just saying I would pay to see the video footage."

"I'll make sure we're in range of one of Jarvis' cameras." Loki obliged with a smile and scrawled a few more equations on the borrowed tablet.

Since Loki could never visit as himself during visiting hours, he'd taken to popping in at night after the Avengers had cleared out. It was a necessary inconvenience to keep their secret secret, but it left their time together far too short. As they couldn't do anything more strenuous than a kiss, they'd had to settle into alternative methods of passing the time. Like _talking_. And it turned out to be quite comfortable, despite Tony's initial assumptions that it would be the opposite. Particularly once they moved to discussing aspects where science could simulate the effects of certain useful spells and vice versa.

Tony used to tell himself that magic was complete bull and that supporting it would be betraying his beloved science, but it seemed more in the spirit of discovery and further understanding of the world and all its possibilities to pursue knowledge in all its forms. To Tony's delight, magic was surprisingly mathematical. If you did it right, it was predictable. If you did it wrong, you ended up with five extra variables that didn't even exist previously or just a big old negative where there should have been a small positive. It was complex and simple. It was a project and something _new_ to learn. Tony loved it. And Loki was apparently enjoying teaching it to a rapt listener.

If Tony had been thinking like an Avenger, he would have been smugly satisfied how Loki was pretty much sitting there, exposing the tricks and basics of magic and the how and why it would and wouldn't work.

Unfortunately for SHIELD, Tony was only seeing the tame smile curling at the edge of Loki's lips each time Tony understood a concept, and the unspoken trust that was being placed in him to listen and take in all this information. No, unfortunately for SHIELD and everyone else affected by Loki's mischief, Tony didn't indulge a single thought on using this against Loki. Tony wasn't a traitor, despite his loyalty falling on both sides of some imaginary line.

Loki paused in the process of notating formulas and looked over to Tony with a considering look. "I'll make myself known in the next few days, I believe."

"No heads up or descriptors for your next skin?"

"Unless you have another hidden lover, I won't be all that difficult to recognize regardless of my face." Tony could read the tiny challenge tucked in there. "Though I'll need time to fully forge my identity in case your friends opt to do their research. Here," he turned the tablet to Tony, "try this when you next construct your prototypes."

Tony whistled lowly, but cringed at himself when the pitch made his head throb. Ignoring the pain meds that were lasting shorter and shorter periods of time, he set about seeing what he was being offered. The machine Loki had sketched was complex and agonizingly small for how long it would likely take to assemble, but it was a thing of beauty like all Loki's designs were. "And how much magic is this going to take?"

"Some. Inscriptions and conjuration enchantments. I'll teach you."

Naturally, the generosity made him dubious. "You will?"

Loki rolled his eyes and made a few short taps across the screen to save the design. "You have a short time left on your stay here, yes? You sleep during the day and stay awake at night while I'm here. Even after that, it's not as if I won't return. Surely that's enough time to teach you at least the basics of these things." Flicking away the machine schematics completely, Loki started a new drawing - less mechanical and more abstract with the kind of rendering of a person that Tony called "the circle thing." Curving lines were drawn following towards and around the person-ish shape.

"A shield is one of the first spells a mage learns to perfect." Loki began. "Magic is many things, but before one is taught to weave and un-weave the strings of the worlds, we learn to safely channel the inert energy around us. Shields involve taking energy from our surroundings, through our bodies, and into a barrier. Our intent is the catalyst to change dormant energy into a hardened shell." He illustrated the motion with the diagram on the tablet. "It's alchemical without the chemistry. It's the reforming from one state into another."

The diagram was flicked to the side of the screen, and the magical field generator was pulled back up. "This bauble will be part magic and part science. It won't need a wired power source like your reactor because it's drawing from around it like a mage's spell would. Only its activation is mechanical and the energy will be channeled through the device instead of through you. Thus the inscriptions. The conjurations will be the words that draw energy at your will. It's simple."

It sounded it, but Tony was still stuck on Loki's casual offer of not only teaching Tony about magic but teaching Tony how to _practice_ magic. Even if they were "simple" magics. And Tony still couldn't shake his friend's warning.

"Different question now."

"What dilemma has sparked your attention this time?" Going back to the diagram of the mage and its ebb and flow lines, Loki started retracing and labeling a few for reference.

"Was there or is there still a plan to exploit our relationship for reasons beyond sex?"

Loki paused in his sketching for a moment, then calmly turned the tablet screen off and put it to the side as he faced Tony fully. "Do you believe I had or still have a plan to do so?"

"That's why I'm asking."

"Would you trust the word of a liar if I did answer?"

"I want to. But I have to hear your answer to know my own. Was getting involved with me ever a means to an end?"

He didn't look away, resolutely stared back as Tony silently did the same. "Manipulation and using someone are two very different things. I manipulate for my own selfish desires, trick a man into owing me a debt so that my continued presence would not seem as strange. I lie to get close and feign to feel nothing more than lust until I can be sure that my desires are reciprocated. That is who I am."

"So you lied." He nodded with a one-shouldered shrug. "Fine. I get that. It's not really all that surprising."

"Lying is hard to stop once you've started." Loki stated calmly. "You should know."

"You're still not answering my question." The continued lack of yes or no was making Tony's chest clench high up behind his rib cage and the ache grew worse. He wanted answers, not this circuitous roundabout of nothing. Loki confessed to liking Tony; that had little to do with planning or not planning to kill Tony later. He knew Loki lied; he wanted to know what Loki had lied about.

"The real point of your question is if I've plotted to use you to hurt someone else, yes? Think harder about it. A man uses an opportunity to manipulate another during a time of vulnerability and shows him false love, affection, caring, hope. When no longer of use or out of his control, the man finds a way to dispose of the being. Sound familiar?"

"Sounds... kind of like Odin."

"Because it is. If I did the same to you, I would be no better than Odin himself. No matter what I want in this world or another, no matter how much easier it would be to follow in Odin's footsteps, I will _never_ repeat his cruelty on anyone else. It's a trait children are doomed to inherit from those who raised them, but I have given myself the power and self-awareness to resist it. I recognize the temptation, and I refuse." It wasn't pride in Loki's steely glare, it was pure determination and an iron will to not continue Odin's cold cruelties. "So no, Tony. I have no intention, no plan, nor have I ever had or ever plan in the future to use you to affect someone else in any fashion. Even monsters have limits."

"You're not a monster."

Loki smiled serenely. "If I use their word to empower myself, it ceases to hurt me. What they would use to bring me down, I now use as fuel to take them out. They wanted a monster. I obliged. I gave real power to my name, and now they're forced to accept the product of their own making."

Loki was still a manipulative asshole and a liar, but Tony was convinced the bastard didn't want him dead at least. And he had to face the fact that Loki wasn't the only one here with a tendency to twist people up to get them where he wanted them. It wasn't malice; it was doing what sometimes needed to be done. Sometimes just because Tony wanted. But every "bad" trait had its uses in good intentions too.

"So when you offered to teach me magic, it was genuine?"

"How did giving you means to keep yourself alive equate to my wanting you dead? Your logic is dizzying." Loki slumped back in the chair. "So? Am I off trial now?"

Tony handed the tablet back to Loki. "You're clear. Just had to ask."

"I had wondered if the topic would arise at some point. Make no mistakes - I am not pure of heart or intentions, but my attraction to you has nothing to do with any that you associate with. _You_ are the interest to me, not your interest to others."

"It was just others talking shit, okay? I had questions that had been niggling at me for a while anyway, and they just poked a bit too hard."

"How comforting that one little push can send you careening."

"That one push came after the second almost-successful attempt on my life in the last three months." Tony defended hotly. "Jarvis?"

 _"We suspect the bomb that injured Master Stark could have been intended for him specifically."_ Jarvis spoke up from the tablet, and Loki's face fell slack in shock for short moments before it hardened into a careful mask. _"However, SHIELD has all of the captives and will not allow anyone else inside to pose such lines of questioning. It's conjecture at best for our theories, with no way of proving it either way."_

"How did you reach the conclusion of yourself as their target?"

"Because they weren't trying to hide the bomb, but they weren't letting disposal units get through either." Tony answered. "Meaning I would be the one sent to defuse the thing that's only fatal to people really close by. And there was no way to turn it off, unlike all the other bombs they had."

"Were they the ones to attack your tower?"

"No, I think these idiots didn't really know what they were doing. They had backing from someone that's a lot smarter and is determined to see me dead. If I don't find them, third time will be the charm."

And they both knew what that meant.

"I think it is time your mysterious boyfriend made himself known." Loki sounded distant, farther into his own head than in the moment. "I'll need tomorrow to create my identity, but I'll return at night." Focusing back, he started jotting down instructions on the tablet screen. "If you need anything, call my name." He detailed it further in writing but explained it aloud for good measure. "It's the intent. Say my name with intent. Just any utterance of my name will not get my attention, you need to _want_ it. Understand? Promise me you'll call if something happens?"

"I will. Relax, I'll be safe for one more day. Friends'll be here."

"I'm not the only one able to wear a mask, Tony. Watch for anyone." Loki was unnervingly urgent and insistent, so positive that anything could happen all of a sudden when Tony had been in the hospital for a couple of weeks and nothing had gone wrong yet.

"Everyone except you, you mean."

"Until you're sure it's me, _watch everyone_. If they are as close as you suspect, it's wiser to doubt until sure. There is always the possibility that they know."

"You're making me feel great right now, I'll have you know." Tony tapped the bed rail with his middle finger, inhaling deeply through his nose though it wasn't helping to calm his rising heart rate.

Loki only put his hand gently over Tony's agitated rhythm-making, stopping it in its tracks and replacing it with the slow stroke of Loki's thumb rubbing over the back of Tony's knuckles. "Peace, sweet. You'll find those that mean you harm, and you'll deal with them. As you always have."

"How do you calm me down as easily as you work me up?" The faint tremors along his spine would last a while longer yet, but the fuzz in his head began receding.

"I have to be aware of how people will move if I'm to pull their strings." Loki shrugged a little. "But you? You are as like to me as you are dissimilar. A challenge and a familiarity. I enjoy learning you." The god lifted Tony's hand to place a gentle kiss to the back of it before lowering it down again.

"There was a compliment in there somewhere, I think. Somewhere alongside something that should be more worrying." Yet he still returned the affection by raising Loki's hand to his own lips shortly. "Fuck it, I know you like the sex too much to kill me."

"The boy has an epiphany."

"Shut up and show me the magic energy field generator thingy again. I've got questions."

**xXx**

Rhodey on active duty and Steve at SHIELD's DC headquarters with Nat left Bruce, Clint, and Thor on call for emergency city saving, thereby leaving Tony with Jarvis and his tablet for most of the next two days. Loki returned at night and left by morning, unable to risk getting caught by anyone that might speak out. Frustrating, but they'd dealt with worse, and it was better to be inconvenienced than imprisoned.

Natasha heralded her return to town with as much fanfare as usual by walking in and punching Tony in the arm before so much as saying a word.

"Ow! What the hell was that for, Romanoff?"

"That's for not leaving anything for your boyfriend." She reprimanded and tossed her bag in the chair on the other side of the bed. "How long have you been in here and you don't even have Jarvis leave a message?"

"Excuse me?" She'd hit his uninjured side, but it still tingled enough that Tony had to rub his arm to soothe the throbbing.

"Guess who I found stalking around outside Stark Tower?" She turned pointedly as another redhead stepped in from the hallway and paused just in sight of the bed.

If Tony wasn't the monogamous type, he would have jumped to get a chance at this guy. Tall, curly hair, padded where Tony liked his guys padded, murky green-brown eyes, and a shaped but scruffy beard, Mr. Mystery was the kind of guy Tony only knew he had a thing for once he saw 'em and read the spark in their eyes. Gorgeous and well-mannered until you pissed them off. Appearances be damned, Tony had a definite personality type that he was attracted to. Luckily for Tony, he didn't have to lament for long about his unavailability when his lover was a shapeshifter.

As soon as Natasha looked back to Tony, Mr. Mystery's eyes flashed bright as emeralds and back to muddy green in the span of a mischievous wink. Then Tony was even more glad he was monogamous with Loki.

"Hey babe." Tony didn't have a name attached to this face yet, but he should at least go for familiarity.

Loki crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl that was as hurt as it was angry. "What's a man have to do to get his boyfriend to call when he's in the hospital?"

"I'd say you have to install a new version of boyfriend for that, but really, are any of them worth it?"

Loki shrugged a little. "You're rich, so maybe."

Ouch. Playing rough. "Also good looking, thank you very much. And don't forget incredibly open to direction and new kinks. Maybe you like my company on occasion, I don't know."

"You're right. The sex is your most redeeming trait."

"Then I don't need to call you if I'm too injured for sex."

"Because it's not about the sex anymore, you idiot, and you know it hasn't been for a while now." Loki actually looked serious, no acting at all, but surely Tony was just misinterpreting this new face.

_No, I'm not. It stopped being sex and started being more even before you started spooning with him. Stop fucking denying it._

Felt weird admitting all this to your boyfriend-in-disguise in front of the friend who still knew said incognito lover as an enemy though. Life was full of awkward situations like that, and Tony had more than his fair share in dealing with them.

"And you know I was joking, so are you going to come over and give your invalid boyfriend a kiss or just keep glaring from the doorway?"

Loki glanced to Natasha and back, a look of calculation while she wasn't currently bothering to watch his reactions. "I'm still angry you couldn't so much as think to leave a goddamn message, Tony; it wouldn't have been that difficult. Tell Jarvis 'let James know I'm in the hospital' and he would have." So James, it was then. Passable. "Instead, your friend has to find me pacing the sidewalk outside your place, while Jarvis only says that you've ordered him not to tell anyone where you've gone." His eyes narrowed, dauntingly convincing. _Where's the lie?_ "So until I'm not so fucking _pissed off_ with you, it might be better to keep my distance."

"I'm sorry." And Tony shocked himself - and Natasha going from her brows shooting up in Tony's peripheral vision - with how genuine the apology actually was. Chances were that Loki wasn't so pleased to have to hit up Jarvis for information on Tony in the first place. "I am. I should have said something. But I was and still am pretty shaken." Look at that: more truth. He was on fire tonight. Tony smiled a bit nervously and still entirely real. "I've missed you."

Fake face but real surprise. His resolve to play the jilted boyfriend crumbled, and Loki heaved a long sigh before trudging over to Tony's side opposite Natasha. Tony reached for his hand, and Loki took it without hesitation. "I've missed you too, you bastard."

"Don't get too sentimental on me here."

"I'm still angry."

"I don't doubt you'll make me pay for it later."

The smirk James smiled was all Loki under there. "Oh, I will. And you'll love it." Glancing at Natasha from his peripheral, Loki leaned in to press his lips to Tony's temple and whisper in Tony's ear, low enough that she couldn't hear them. "And I promise you'll love it as you beg for mercy and receive none."

Where was the playing again? And why couldn't Tony ignore Doctor's orders and fuck off with Loki now? There was too much going on in his mind, and he couldn't ask a thing with Widow watching them like her prey.

Clearing his throat ended up being a failed attempt to dispel the heat from Tony's face as Loki stood straight, grinned like the devil, then turned to Natasha with a softer smile. "Thank you for your help, Agent Romanoff. You saved Tony a good deal of pain than had he simply called me up upon his release."

"I hope I didn't save him too much." She smiled sharply back, and Loki's returning grin was that much more pleased with her response.

"More than I probably should." Loki turned to Tony again with an airy look of contemplation. "He does look so lovely when he's on the edge and pleading though."

"Excuse you!" Admitting to a possessive boyfriend with a bite was one thing, admitting _that_ kink was just a step too far. He felt his cheeks flaring, and Natasha visibly stifled a laugh behind her hand.

"My first introduction to your friends was madly pacing outside your home. How do you think I felt about that?"

"Vengeful, apparently." Tony snapped hotly.

"Indeed. Would you rather I allude to it in conversation? Or shall I simply _show_ them how I most enjoy playing your senses to my tune?"

The warmth spread to his ears and started down his chest. "Fine. Point made. I've been naughty, and you're going to spank me - no details needed!" He had to hastily add when Loki opened his mouth to clarify. "I'm trying to remember why I like you now."

The spark in Loki's eyes said that Tony was going to be conflicted with this answer too. "Because I'm as _good_ as you try to be _bad_."

"Well, now that you two are playing nice, I'm going to drop off what I came for, and go find Clint. A pleasure to meet to you, Mr. Larsen." She nodded to Loki, and he returned the head bow. Pulling her bag back onto her shoulder, she dug around, retrieved a small cellphone the size of her palm, and handed it to Tony without any explanation before she headed for the door. "Be good, boys."

Tony nearly dropped the phone to round on Loki. "What the _fuck_ -"

"I said I would have to meet them at some point. I didn't say you'd immediately like the scene."

"Seriously? You went there? In front of _Natasha fucking Romanoff_?"

"If your friends judge you for having a 'lifestyle' relationship, then that's their own issue."

"It's not really a _'lifestyle'_ relationship yet..."

"What should it matter to them what kind of relationship you have so long as you are content in the arrangement?"

"I'm not content."

Loki tensed, and his voice went cold when he spoke next. "Oh? Then what are you?"

"I want more than this shit situation of having to hide everything. I hate feeling like having the real secret get out would sign my death sentence. We're hurting no one doing this, but..." Tony sighed and retook Loki's dropped hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze in a feeble attempt at saying what he wasn't finding the words for. "I like this. I love being with you, but it's bullshit that just because you're you, suddenly it's not acceptable."

"I know." Loki's other hand came up to stroke a soft thumb across Tony's cheek. "Such are the ways of the world. Perhaps we should go to a different one instead."

The light-hearted joke got a short laugh from Tony, but it didn't last as long as he would have liked. "Stay here for a little while, will you? I've been feeling like shit for days."

"Close your eyes a while then. I'll see what can be done to ease your ills."

"Rhodey's going to call at some point, apparently." Tony waved the phone in example. "And I only wake up feeling worse than I did before anyway, so what's the point of sleep anymore?"

Loki's eyes narrowed, and he moved his hand to Tony's forehead. "Sleep, Tony."

His vision blurred at the suggestion, and hazy peace settled his frenzied thoughts in moments. "Don't let me sleep through Rhodey's call."

"I'll wake you then, my sweet. I promise."

**xXx**

Going to sleep was pleasant, but waking up? Felt better than Tony had in weeks. The sluggishness that had run through his veins and fogged his focus was gone, and apart from the still lingering discomfort in each of his newest shrapnel wounds, comfort level was up 120% just like that. Maybe because he finally sort of introduced Loki to part of the team? Fuck no, that was hell, but there was some relief in having a stand-in for Tony's mystery boyfriend that could now be pointed at instead of vaguely alluded to. The illusion was completed, at least. Not that it was the whole reason for feeling so much better.

Waking up to Loki - actually Loki as his actual self - absentmindedly stroking Tony's hand while browsing through Tony's tablet with his other hand might have been another factor to the equation.

"Morning, your highness."

"It's after supper time, Tony." Loki replied just as absently without skipping a beat, not bothering to correct the honorific either.

"Has-"

"Lt. Colonel Rhodes called yet? No. Miss Potts visited briefly as well, but didn't want to wake you. Said she was just checking in on your progress since you two last spoke on Wednesday."

"So she's met James now too?" Shame. The look on Pepper's face at meeting James would have been priceless.

"No, Giselle. I didn't feel like a lengthy discussion at the time."

"And?"

"And I told her your healing is remarkable as usual. That you truly were a pinnacle of good health." Without looking up, Loki smirked. "Or you would be if you managed to follow the doctor's orders."

"Thanks, you fucking tattletale."

"I do enjoy the truth when it entertains me." Loki finally turned the tablet down on his lap and faced Tony with a soft smile. "How do you feel?"

"You were right. Sleep helped."

"Yes." The answer was automatic and distracted as Loki touched the back of his hand to Tony's forehead again. "Good, it is gone."

Had Tony missed an important part of conversation somewhere? "What's gone now?"

"Something. I was not familiar with the strain - entirely foreign from anything I've seen before. It was impeding your recovery though, so I removed it."

"Hospital infections. Glad to know care and safety is top notch across patients of all kinds."

"This did not seem like-" He stopped himself short when he saw Tony's face and forced a smile. "Nevermind. I'm sure it was what you said."

"No, what else?"

"Nothing. I am not yet familiar with the wide variety of viruses humans can contract. I must have been mistaken. What it was matters little now that it's no longer poisoning your body."

There was a lot more there, but Loki wasn't going to say. As comforting as Loki's company had become, and as intoxicatingly brilliant as he was, he presented no small number of frustrations - his stubborn will featuring at the top of that list most of the time.

"Is there something I need to be watching out for here, Lo'?"

"You'll be released in a few days. I'm sure it's nothing."

"If I need to-"

The phone blared its jolting tone. If Tony hadn't known it was Rhodey he would have turned it off. As it was, he gave blank-faced Loki an accusing glare and picked up on the third ring. "Hey, rockstar."

_"I'm never giving you my passwords again."_

"Come on, that password was gold. And true."

 _"Never again."_ Tony could practically hear Rhodey pinching the bridge of his nose. _"I just called to say that since I won't be making it back in time to see you out of your hospital escape, I want you to call me when you get to the tower so I know you made it back safely."_

"You and everyone else. Easy does it with the 'keep a constant eye on Tony' vigil."

There was a short pause. _"It's late there, isn't it? Is someone with you? One of the Avengers?"_

"Boyfriend, actually."

Another pause. _"Can I talk to him?"_

"Um, no. He's... in the bathroom."

"Hand me the phone, Tony." Loki requested with an expectantly extended palm.

"No." Tony directed to Loki this time.

_"I can't talk to your boyfriend?"_

"Not where I can't hear you."

"Tony," Loki looked patient, which was enough an indicator that he wasn't going to take no for answer here. "The phone, if you will please."

"Fine."

He jutted it in Loki's direction, and the god took the phone carefully. "Lt. Colonel Rhodes? How nice to put a voice to a name. I am James Larsen, and I believe you've belatedly heard about me." Hearing them within an instant of each other, Tony could better hear how the accent dimmed to the point of almost sounding American. If anything, "James's" voice had the faintest Southern drawl. But the timbre and the purr of it hadn't changed a bit. "Am I to get the long-awaited shovel talk?"

"Now there's a fight I'd pay to see."

"Hush, Tony." Loki tapped a finger across Tony's lips, but Tony took the attempt to shut him up as well as he took any other attempt - he took hold of Loki's wrist lightly and ran his tongue from palm to fingertip before sucking it into his mouth, letting it rest just inside his lips. Loki's gaze flicked with longing and temptation, but he pulled his hand back instead and ignored Tony's chuckles. Tony hadn't lost his touch though; Loki's voice was distracted as he returned to Rhodey. "No, please continue, Lt. Col-" After a muffled interruption across the line, Loki smiled as indulgently as he would have had he been face-to-face with his victim. " _Rhodey_ , you were saying? Mm-hm. I understand." He held his tongue with each matching unintelligible part of Rhodey speaking across the line. "Well, this is Tony we're talking about, so I can't guarantee anything, but I hope you can believe me when I say I mean Tony no harm. He's as safe under my care as under the watch of any who cares for Tony, which is to say not much at all, I know."

"At least I get nookie under your watch."

" _Hush_ , Tony." Loki looked more amused this time and didn't dare try to enforce it a second time. "Your friend is being a menace, that's what." The light laugh, all delight and jovial was magnificent to hear, and Tony shut up just to hear it better and be able to sear it into his memories. This was Loki happy - crinkled eyes and a toothy smile and eyes bright with mirth as he leaned forward to hold Tony with one hand and the phone with the other. "That sounds lovely. Tony's already asked me to stay for a few days after he's released, so I'll see you then?"

Daydreaming gone. "Wait a second-"

"Until then. Bye." Loki hung up the phone before Tony could protest, then schooled his face to calm nonchalance while his eyes glittered. "Rhodey sends his best wishes."

"Go back to the part about meeting Rhodey."

"Do you disapprove?" He lifted his chin and stared down imperiously.

"I don't know, are you going to imply more about how good a sub I am for you?"

"To appease them, you must give the people what they want. You said Agent Romanoff deduced certain natures of our relationship, yes? To not act accordingly would draw curiosity. To confirm them would allow a measure of comfort that she was right. And she is. She merely doesn't know the precise details yet."

He pouted only because the bastard had a point, and it pissed Tony off "So you had to tell her. You need to say it to the others? No more comments to my friends about the kinky things you're going to do to me?"

"My sweet," Loki cupped Tony's cheek, "if I promise that, it'll only be a lie."

Tony pouted. "Or you could actually not say them."

"And ruin the fun?" His god grinned and reclined comfortably again. "Embarrass and discomfort people, and they'll not ask more."

"Not true for gossip mongers."

"Decent people won't continue to ask. Your friends, teasing and curious though they may be, are good people. For the most part."

Say what now? "For the most part?"

"Everyone has their secrets, Tony. I'm sure your friends are no exceptions."

Tony slumped back in bed and sighed heavily. "Sometimes I really do just want things to be simple. Relationships of any kind are anything but."

"The price to pay for our company. We're paranoid people, you and I, and history has taught us to be as such. At this juncture, paranoia would be valuable to practice."

Tony jabbed a finger at Loki. "Fine, but if I have to sit through listening to you implying all our kinky bedroom antics, sooner rather than later, I damn sure better get the debauchery everyone thinks I'm getting."

To better sell the lie, of course. And maybe Tony wanted to test their safe words and his limits a bit. He'd had safe relationships like Pepper, scandalous affairs through most of his younger years that hung around long enough to sell their story to a media outlet, and now he had scandal and safety and silence in all the necessary places wrapped into one with Loki. Seemed only suitable to see how far it could go.

Without a word, Loki gripped the bed rail and lifted it out of the locked position to fold it down. All the better for him to prop his hip on the edge, lean in, and tuck his nose into the hair about Tony's ear. "Tony, dear, you'll praise this moment in the future. The very moment you dared ask for more."

"I kind of expected you to say I would regret asking that."

A breathy laugh preceded a nip to the top of his ear lobe. "You're far too beautiful in pleasured agony to torture, dearest. Trust me."

And God help him, but Tony did trust that much. 

"Tell me –" Loki traced his finger from Tony’s inner elbow down to his wrist bone. "How do you feel about lucid dreaming?"


	9. Our Gentle Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "James Larsen" vs. The Avengers family unit. So many questions. So many places to bend the truth to fit with the lie. So many places where true faces say so much more.

Not even gods knew what Tony was expecting from his friends meeting Loki in the hospital. Not _Loki_ , really, but Loki as James. Nat was surprisingly approving, and Tony only heard half of the phone conversation between Loki and Rhodey, but Tony wasn't sure how to comprehend the Star Spangled Spandex Man _really liking_ Loki. It was unreal. James was snarky and teasing, sharp and unrestrained. And Steve seemed to love it. He quipped back and made jokes at his own expense, made jokes at Tony's expense, and that was _almost_ as welcoming as Clint was to Loki. It would have been fantastic if it weren't for how utterly depressing it was to watch.

The thing was that Loki was being Loki. All his humor, all his smiles, all scrunched-up face when he giggled. The only thing different was the skin and the name. So Tony had to watch as his friends fell in love with his boyfriend, fell in love with a _costume_ of his boyfriend, with both lovers knowing that to shed the lie was to tear apart their hologram world of happiness. So yes, it was fucking painful to sit through.

But damn it all if he wasn't going to sit through it and pretend he could have this.

If it was the only way he could walk out of the hospital with his boyfriend's arm around his waist and not be immediately clapped into cuffs, then Tony was damn well going to pretend that it was fine as is.

Yeah... Everything was just fine.

**xXx**

" _Finally._ Not hospital air."

"And back into your own security." Loki ventured, but Tony was too busy stretching his arms out above his head and strutting toward the lounge area to bask in the light pouring through the windows.

"Welcome back, me."

 _"Welcome back, sir."_ Jarvis added warmly, and Tony sighed out an indulgent breath.

"J, you got those schematics ready down in my lab?"

_"They will be after you eat."_

Tony stopped and pivoted on his heel to jab an accusing finger at the Avengers filing out of the elevator. "You've been talking to my baby, and I won't have this betrayal."

"Jarvis agreed with us, no convincing necessary." Natasha added and dropped the first bag of Chinese takeout on the counter. "Take an hour with your friends and your boyfriend to eat better than hospital cafeteria food. I promise science will wait."

"I did not hear that last part."

Loki, ever eager to play subtle and not make things more difficult on their act, dropped the duffel bag he had carried in from the car, and slipped up to Tony's side, threading his fingers through Tony's. The wicked grin stayed steady through Tony's suspicious glare, only to sharpen as he lifted Tony's hand and kissed the back of his knuckles with a doe-eyed look and a questioning command of "Come eat with us, Tony dear?"

"You're the devil himself." Tony groused.

"My easiest mark to tempt yet."

"Fuck you and give me the glass noodles."

Tony staked his seat beside Loki first while Bruce took the chair beside Tony, Steve left an empty seat between himself and Loki for space, and the two spies lounged across a couple chairs each on the other side of Steve. The boxes were already being unloaded and portions of one thing or another laid claim to while silverware was set out right beside chopsticks. Easy chatter floated across the table as Tony and Loki settled in, his friends actually letting the two adjust and prepare before the undoubtedly long list of questions they had planned for both of them. Light as it was, the tension was still there under it all, but at least food was allowed first.

Loki was more reserved in picking between all the options, generally smaller amounts of several things - like a sampler plate versus picking what he knew he liked. Everyone else was starting to eat, and outright asking Loki if he'd even _had_ Chinese food in his life was going to draw a lot of attention and suspicion, so Tony just stayed quiet and tucked into his modest selection.

As Loki cautiously tried bits of his own, none of them the same as Tony's choices, Tony spun a healthy couple of bites worth of glass noodles onto his fork and subtly transferred them to the edge of Loki's plate without more than a glance at the food to make sure it all got there before returning to his own. Loki paused in surprise, but Tony's didn't vocalize anything about it, and neither did anyone else as Tony ate the next bite from his own plate. See? He could do subtle. Even more shockingly, Loki followed the lead and ate half of the offering before quickly following it with the second half. Yes to the glass noodles then.

Thankfully, the Avengers didn't immediately go to prodding Tony's boyfriend with invasive questions like Tony had honestly been skeptical of. Instead, they joked and teased between bites of food and included Loki in on silly jokes and light-hearted opinions and siding against one person or another. Tony sat back and enjoyed it while he could, still dropping small portions of different food from his plate to Loki's plate and gauging the reactions positive or negative in his peripheral. Lo Mein was also a fast yes, any peppers or large pieces of onion were pushed to the side, no to the beef, but yes to the chicken (all three variations he tried from both his plate and Tony's sharing) and the pork, and if it weren't for Clint grabbing the last one less than a minute earlier, Loki would have gone for his third sugar biscuit.

So yeah, it was ridiculously nice. And yes, a week in, Tony was still having a little trouble connecting James' face to Loki's, mostly because every moment they'd had in private at the hospital, Loki had shifted back to his normal face. Not that Tony wasn't attracted to both forms, but he actually was into monogamy when it came to the point of an official relationship, and Loki was the one he was in a relationship with. It felt weird having to act convincingly otherwise. Even then, Tony was going to take everything he could. Just look at "James" and mentally paste Loki's face on instead. It was nice having dinner with his friends and his boyfriend at the same table, even if his boyfriend didn't look like the guy Tony was actually dating. So it wasn't perfect, but it was what he was going to have to do.

"I confess I'm curious." Bruce started casually, gesturing his chopsticks between Tony and Loki. "How did you two even meet?"

"I believe he was threatening me." Loki answered easily and grinned at Tony's undignified snort.

"To be fair, you started it." Tony played along. "You touched my stuff."

"Ahh, yes, I had it coming."

"Now I just threaten if you _don't_ touch my stuff."

"Different stuff, Tony."

"Really fascinating stuff." Clint added with an air of "you can stop that now" and lounged back in his chair. "We figured out that part before we knew your name."

At least Loki had the good sense to look mildly abashed at the implication as he ducked his head a bit, but nothing could dim the glitter of having _fun_ in his eyes. "Tony told me how you found out about our... involvement. Not exactly the way we had intended to tell you. Though nor was the way I actually did meet you."

"Not the ideal way of going public." Clint said with more than a little amusement.

"We're not public." Tony made sure to note as he worked to catch a piece of chicken between his unwieldy wooden utensils. "Just you all so far."

"So are you two thinking about going fully public now?"

Tony dropped one chopstick with a telling fumble, and Loki choked on a noodle. Bruce dared to ask _that,_ and yet Tony and Loki were the ones getting looked at like they were crazy? "It would, um... not be advisable." Loki managed as he cleared the cough from his throat.

"Very much not so. Please don't make me think of that."

"Reputations are meant to be changeable." The doctor tried to reason but missed the mark entirely.

"It is not our reputations we fear for." Loki said solemnly with a longing and all too genuine glance to Tony. "Our reasons for staying secret have, unfortunately, not wavered or diminished since we first realized them."

"Reputation isn't the concern here; it's safety." If they wanted honesty, Tony was going to tell them. "You all, Rhodey, and Pep know. I'd rather SHIELD stayed in their dark corner and didn't interfere with mine."

"You think SHIELD would get in the way?" Steve questioned with a frown.

"I don't trust a whole lot of people right now. Least of all SHIELD."

"As much as we'd like to be more open about our relationship," Loki set his fork down and sighed. "It's complicated. For both of us. Telling anyone beyond this exclusive circle would be unwise. And dangerous."

"You haven't told us what you do for a living yet, James." Steve piped up again, and Tony could read the suspicion like a neon arrow over Steve's head.

Loki only smiled indulgently and shook his head. "No, I haven't. It's... a bit scandalous when paired with dating Tony." 

"So you're not going to say." Natasha added, already acknowledging (she probably had the minute she knew he existed and surmised that the secret was for a reason) that he wasn't going to be forthright about his personal life. "Must be a hell of a scandal."

"It would shake our very foundations." For having a fake face, Loki wasn't hiding any real emotions. Though Tony supposed that was part of James' mask and the part to play in the first place. The loss in Loki's eyes was chillingly genuine. "It would tear us apart, and I have no desire to lose what I've been so fortunate as to gain."

This time, Loki wasn't looking at Tony, but Tony could recognize the barely resisted urge and the attempts to direct the conversation to a point that the others would stop asking; only it wasn't working as well as Loki had apparently been hoping it would. So Tony followed his own instincts and set his hand atop Loki's resting on the table and notched his finger tips between Loki's fingers. Loki turned his hand to better hold Tony's, palm to palm and fingers laced together with Loki's thumb on the outside. It was enough to get Loki to look over again with a sad smile that Tony felt an aching need to wipe off. It couldn't fix everything, but he leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Loki's lips for comfort and another shorter peck just to the side of his mouth, mildly taken off guard by the slight stubble under his lips for the second kiss when he was so used to Loki's face being smooth as an android's bottom.

If Loki couldn't get the Avengers to change the subject subtly, then Tony would be straightforward. "Look, I know you want to know everything and check out the boyfriend and all, but it's kind of enough for the nerves that he's sitting in front of you at all. Maybe delay the interrogation a bit longer, okay?"

There were nods and mumbled apologies around the table and silence settled uncomfortably around them. Loki squeezed Tony's hand worriedly, and Tony took the cue to take care of it and cast a glance around the table for a suitable direction only to stumble and trip into something he hadn't noticed before. "Wait. Where's Thor anyway?" Way to go on the observation front, Tony.

"Visiting Jane." Natasha answered quickly as she scooped up more noodles with her chopsticks. "Considering his mixed commentary on non-heterosexual relationships, I thought it would be easier."

"You crafty spy, you, I could kiss you."

Loki squeezed his hand in light warning. "A thank you will suffice from you." The unmistakable pleasure and delight in escaping testing his identity against his brother clear in the sparkle of his eyes.

"James can find a way to thank me from the both of you later." Natasha said pointedly towards Loki, and Loki didn't shirk from the dare for an instant, only inclining his head with a grin that Tony read clearly as " _challenge accepted_ ". Talk about a match made in hell. "Thor's not the most subtle person to start with. And I'm still not sure what his reaction will be when he gets back the day after tomorrow, but I didn't think either of you would mind a softer start to the boyfriend mingling with the friends."

"What I've heard of him from Tony wasn't particularly promising. I don't generally trust those set in their 'traditional' values."

"Thor's always been an unpredictable aspect in equations. It's part of his element, after all. He might surprise you as easily as he does exactly what you don't want him to do. Best to be careful, regardless."

"Thank you, Ms. Romanoff. I mean that with every ounce of my being right now."

"See how you feel tomorrow when he gets back."

"I think I can handle him tomorrow."

"Maybe make sure he doesn't find us making out on the couch." Tony suggested.

"On the contrary, it would easily take care of one question."

"And open so many others. Let's just hold on that, okay?"

"As you like." Loki eventually agreed, and Tony breathed an internal sigh of relief while another burning question made itself known in his head. Not a question he could ask of Loki in front of company though. The more he thought of it, the more similar and related questions wormed out of the depths and tugged down on what had been a fairly good mood.

With everyone's plates eaten clean (with the exception of bits that were picked out) and the assorted containers emptied out, Tony took advantage of the opening to stand with a slap to his thighs. "Well, I need to go wash the hospital off of me." Was the best first excuse off the tip of his tongue before nodding to include Loki. "He's helping me. Come on, James." God, it was even weird to _say_ the different name.

"Mind the sensitive tissues in your hip." Natasha reminded unashamedly.

"That's his job; I'm just the rich sex toy."

"Good night, Tony. Good night, James." The Widow waved them off as she started gathering up plates, Steve cleaned up boxes, and the others bade their good nights as well.

"It was nice meeting you all. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the warm welcome." Loki said as he gathered up that mystery bag he was hauling around, and Tony resisted adding out loud " _yeah, before all that accusatory business; that was less warm_ " but as long as he and Loki were able to make a break for now, Tony wasn't going to say anything else to drag them back in. Cut and run.

" _Hospital_ smell, James. It needs to come out." Tony pulled Loki by the hand towards the elevator and gave his friends a wave as the doors finally separated them from a surround of prying, curious eyes and words.

As soon as it was just the two of them, free of appropriate PDA guidelines, Tony deflated in exhaustion. All that teasing sex talk, and now he didn't want _any of it_ for a while. Not that anything at all aside from showering and sleeping was appealing. Loki didn't say anything to help or hinder the thoughts during the short ride, but he didn't release Tony's hand either, even as Tony felt the prickle of magic flowing out to Loki's finger tips and just slightly altering the hand in his as he shifted back into his normal form.

When they got to the penthouse, Loki kept his silence and led Tony back out and towards his (their? They were sharing, after all) bedroom. It wasn't quite the frenzy or the seductive leading that usually preceded sex, but Tony kept a close eye out for it to change in a moment. Any time now, he expected...

"Shall we clean up first?" Loki suggested lightly as he paused just inside the bedroom doorway.

"Well, I wasn't kidding about washing the hospital off."

Their hands only dropped once Tony flicked the bathroom light on, and they busied themselves starting to undress without another glance at each other. With Loki right there while Tony's body was bereft of a hungry touch stripping him down with equal parts loving and reckless abandon. So he wasn't in the mood for sex, but it didn't make him not in the mood for touch. Especially when his lover was right fucking there and barer than at birth and ready to climb into the shower, and they were standing apart while stripping down. Tony's brain didn't know what to do with the clash.

It was so thoroughly distracting that he didn't even hear Loki turn the water on, only noticed the sound of Loki's feet padding along on the tile behind Tony just before Loki called out lightly.

"Oh, Tony?"

"Hm?" He pivoted and nearly ran into Loki right at his back. Loki curled his index finger under Tony's chin, tilting his face up to meet Loki as he leaned in for a delicate kiss. Tony hummed contently and smiled as Loki pulled away with his own private grin. "What was that for?"

"One not for show." Loki said and shifted to brush his thumb across Tony's cheek. "One just for us and our real faces."

 _Oh._ Well. "I think we need more than one, don't you?"

Indulging the request, Loki caught Tony's lips again, still oh so gentle and caring that Tony wanted to melt full-bodied into Loki's chest. Even as Loki broke the contact with their lips and their noses still brushed, Tony let his eyes stay closed a moment longer before reopening them.

"Let's clean up," was suggested, and Loki tugged at Tony's elbow. He didn't have to force himself to allow Loki that.

Tony got himself to relax a little more during the shower; Loki wasn't making any certain advances, but he also wasn't ignoring Tony either. The god had skills with a loofah that had Tony wanting to melt all over again when not giving Loki a thorough wash down as well. _Intimate._ Not sexual. They found themselves in these situations more often than not lately. Every time, he let them happen without complaint. He certainly didn't want them to _stop_ , so what else was he going to do?

Out of the shower and post-cursory drying off, Loki dressed himself in a pair of loose pants while Tony pulled the same out of his closet, and then Loki just... pulled back the bed covers and climbed in under the top blanket.

Tony stared as Loki settled towards the middle and held the sheets up for Tony to follow.

"Are we turning into one of those old couples that just talks and doesn't have sex anymore?"

Loki had a look of utmost patience. "Would you have preferred I lead you to bed, bind your hands above your head, and take you apart in all the ways that leave you breathless and speechless afterwards? I would give you what you seek at my own will, then push you over the edge all over again until you cried for it so sweetly."

The mental image was... "Well, damn, that sounds more than a little appealing."

"Appealing, but do you feel up to it right now?"

Tony forced himself to actually consider, but his silence said enough.

"I'll give you sex later, Tony. But for now, we both desperately need the rest. It's been a long day, and I'm very tired."

He still held back a moment before moving to crawl into bed. "As long as you don't forget that idea."

"I've been planning it since last you did it to me. I assure you, Tony dear, I won't forget it."

"Ohhh, _that_ position. With a few additions of your own this time."

"Yes. The faster you actually lay down and sleep, the sooner we can recover and revisit that little fantasy."

Loki laughed as Tony flat out belly flopped onto the mattress (and Loki) and wriggled until they were both where they wanted.

Tony got to sleep in record time after that, with his head pillowed on Loki's shoulder and Loki's gentle goodnight kiss to the top of his head.

xXx

_"Good morning, sirs."_

Tony rolled over onto his other side to stretch out over Loki again as Jarvis filtered in the mid-morning light through the windows and began the morning report.

_"It's ten o'clock in the morning, and outside temperatures are averaging in the mid-seventies Fahrenheit across the city with a light breeze. Colonel Rhodes' estimated time of arrival is within the half hour, and I took the liberty of having a selection of baked goods and fresh fruit delivered yesterday to prepare for you and your guest this morning."_

It was good having a butler like Jarvis.

"Hungry?" Loki asked into the top of Tony's head.

"Starved. In a few more minutes." Tony pushed his face up into Loki's neck, burrowing closer to the laugh that trembled through Loki.

"Tony Stark, a cuddling fiend. The world would be shocked."

He only snuggled in closer. "I'm a very tactile person, actually."

Loki hummed and shifted his arms to better settle around Tony. "I won't complain in the slightest about it either. I'm much the same myself."

"Good. Now shhhh and let it happen."

Getting jostled with the next bout of light chuckles was completely forgivable before they eased into a few minutes more of silence and savoring their peaceful moments. Moments when they were themselves snuggling in together without any parts to play to an audience. All they had to do was hold on and breathe. Tony had never had a cuddle bug personality before, but it just seemed natural here.

 _"This is simple. Not us or our lives. This."_ Loki had said not that long ago. Maybe he got it right then. For all the other complexities elsewhere, this between them was simple. And though some might disagree, it was right. Felt right. Like all the things Tony had always expected and dreamed of in those rare times he allowed himself to fantasize ahead to less concrete things. And here they were.

 _I know these words._ Filtered in through the thoughts Tony had been trying to keep as solid as static. _But what will happen if I say them?_ Almost every other time had ended badly. Except for Rhodey and Tony's mother, but they weren't romantic connections. The handful of Tony's past significant others, Pepper included, if they didn't just break up out of mutual "not working like this" agreement like he and Pepper had (and Tony was lucky that it still transitioned back to friends), then it was a huge explosion of some pretty scarring accusations thrown back and forth. If it came to that, Loki could scar with his words better than anyone. Only Tony didn't want it to get that point. Didn't want to lose Loki at all. The nights staying up in his hospital bed, talking freely and easily with Loki like a friend, like more than a sex buddy, it flipped their previous dynamic on end, and Tony didn't want to go back to before. But he wasn't sure what it was exactly that they were doing now on a tenuous tight rope walk of affection and intimacy headed towards... something that Tony generally avoided for legitimate reasons.

_So maybe keep those words in a little longer. Until you really know more._

"Something on your mind?" Loki asked, and Tony shifted a bit less comfortably without being able to find his words. "Or we can go eat now and get your mind off it."

"Second option. Definitely second one."

"You'll have to climb off me then."

"You saying your godly strength can't carry me in there from here? I'm calling bullshit."

Loki slid his hands to Tony's lower back. "I think I can manage. But how much will you squirm in the process?"

With Loki carrying Tony by nothing other than hands on his backside? Forcing Tony to balance by... Yeah, they would only make it to the nearest vaguely suitable surface, and Tony actually did kind of want to eat first.

Still, he brushed his nose just under Loki's jaw just to encourage those fantastic ideas. "Keep that idea in mind."

"Already done." Loki promised, and Tony slid back to climb out of bed, grabbing Loki's hand again naturally as they wandered into the kitchen.

Loki went straight for the fruit basket and plucked a peach out to take a bite, skin and all while Tony picked through for his favorite of the day and hopped up to sit on the counter. He pulled his tablet off the bar counter and powered it on to flip through any articles Jarvis had flagged for Tony's interest while peeling the rind off his orange with his fingernails. Ever the master of subtlety, Loki leaned one hip against the cabinets beside Tony, facing him, but looking at his food while Tony was occupied.

"Finally making it into my shop today, you coming with?" Tony questioned in between fruit wedges.

"Ready for your magic lesson then?"

After a damn week and a half of being told about it and how and then having to wait until he was somewhere private to actually try it? Hell yes, he was ready for a magic lesson. And judging by Loki's much lighter mood this morning instead of his nerves and anxiety of the previous two days leading up to meeting the Avengers in their homey setting, Tony was hoping maybe he could get a little reenactment or re-imagining of the last time Loki was in Tony's workshop. "How much more food do you need before we can go do the thing?"

He'd dared to look down at his tablet after asking, which really, Tony should have known better. Or else he might have expected Loki to suddenly be between Tony's legs, moving the tablet to the counter as quickly as he jerked Tony's hips to the edge and up against Loki's body. Tony let himself be handled, even arching into it invitingly.

"Define the 'thing' we'll do." Loki grinned as he slid his hands back down to lay palms flat on the counter at either side of Tony.

"As if magic isn't going to be involved either way." Tony returned.

"Ah, true. I've yet to test magic with fixing mortal refractory times. Curiosity is getting the better of me on that."

"Then today should be magic testing day." He said against Loki's lips, hiding any immediate response in one of those brilliantly indecent kisses that he had been missing as much as he had been enjoying the sweeter ones. .

"Actually, I've another spell I have a mind to test." Loki said as he kissed the tip of Tony's nose, his cheek, and back to his lips again. "Probably not one you've considered, but it has its advantages."

"Explicit or non-explicit advantages?"

"More to do with... sight."

"Oh?"

Seemingly satisfied until later, Loki stepped back to a more respectable position before picking his half-eaten peach from the counter again. A distinctly _unsatisfied_ Tony had to stay there and take a petulant bite out of his next slice of orange. "I thought it would make it easier for us to present ourselves." Loki said. "If I could-"

_"Pardon the interruption, sirs; Colonel Rhodes and Agent Romanoff are in the elevator and will arrive within moments."_

"Rain check?" Tony offered to Loki's mildly annoyed look as he shifted to James's form, magic dripping and washing off of his skin like dye to expose another self. Loki nodded just as the elevator doors opened, and the couple pivoted to face their company.

Rhodey took one look at them and paused. "I'm not interrupting something, am I?"

"Just breakfast." Tony hefted his partial orange into the air pointedly and separated another section. "Don't worry, it's just James' luck on meeting my friends."

"My favorite way yet." Loki deadpanned. "Shall I fetch a shirt?" He gestured back towards the bedroom, but Rhodey just shook his head and held a placating palm up as he slipped the duffel bag off his shoulder to lean it against the nearest kitchen cabinet.

"If I balked at everyone I saw shirtless with Tony, my face would have been stuck that way twenty years ago." Rhodey dismissed. He turned his hand in an offering instead and stepped close enough for Loki to mirror the movement and shake his hand. "Nice to put a face and... a little extra to a name."

Loki cracked an amused smirk and nodded. "James Larsen."

"James Rhodes. Rhodey."

"I remember. Pleasure to meet you in person. Just 'James' is fine for me."

"The name thing is going to drive me nuts." Tony commented with narrowed eyes between them.

"You hardly call either of us by our first names anyway." Loki shrugged. "I don't imagine it being an issue."

"Nicknaming came in handy for more than giggles after all."

"I didn't just come up here to observe, you know." Natasha said and nodded Tony away from the kitchen. "Can we talk?"

Since Rhodey wasn't moving in that direction, Tony was assuming that meant... "Was this is a set up?"

"I just came up here to check on you and meet the boyfriend." Rhodey defended.

"I needed to talk to you anyway, so I tagged along. You can stay in eye line of James, if you want to so badly, but it's not really a public question I'm asking." Natasha tried again.

Tony grimaced, but Loki shrugged and gave an approving gesture away from the kitchen. "Go on, I can manage a conversation with the Colonel." Not that Tony was so positive that Loki couldn't, but more... possessive of Loki. Protective. Wary of leaving him alone. Suspicious of any possible attempts to catch them in a lie. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. But if Loki said yes, and Tony refused still, then that would look... very bad for them.

"Alright, Romanoff, lead the way."

She went down the hall a ways, stopping when Tony silently refused going farther, and then moved so that her back was to the kitchen and Tony could see what was going on with Loki. More to her point, it was out of hearing range for both pairs if voices were kept to a normal volume or lower. All Tony could understand of Loki and Rhodey's conversation was that words were being said, but they were unintelligible from the distance. The tone seemed light enough, at least, but Tony wasn't going to use that as an excuse to not get back as soon as he could.

Tony talked first, intent on not spending too much time apart. "So what's so-"

"I knew you were good at compartmentalization, but this is a whole new level." She interrupted.

Tony blinked. "What are you talking about? I don't compartmentalize that much."

She affected her narrowed eyes and head tilt, the look that says "I know you're shitting me, you know you're shitting me, let's just cut to the chase" face that Tony had seen too many times directed at him from too many women in his lifetime. "Tony, not only did you have a secret boyfriend, you were keeping him so secret that the intelligence agency that you're a part of didn't know until you were ready to let them know. Even then, it wasn't intentional letting us see his love bites; you just didn't bother denying when we asked. Begs the question of what other secrets are you hiding?"

"I respect you too much to lie: there are a lot more things I haven't told anyone. _A lot._ " If she wanted an answer, that was the one he was willing to give. "And so long as they're secure and not hurting anyone, they're going to stay right where I want them. Trust goes a long way, but paranoia is miles longer."

"I know." She sympathized. "I understand keeping secrets even from the people you're closest to. There's no telling how dirty laundry can air out - by force, by slip, by intention, sometimes the method hardly matters when it outs anyway."

"So you're saying you understand while asking what other things I'm not saying? Miss Widow, you're not quite making sense."

"Then I'll phrase it differently." She said a little harder. "You seem hesitant to leave your boyfriend alone with anyone, Tony. Is it to protect him from us or us from him?"

No small questions there, Jesus. "Maybe it's both."

She was quiet for a disconcertingly long moment, the murmurs from the kitchen filling the space without easing the tension. "You don't have to say a company or a job title, just tell me what he does beyond you isn't dangerous. Tell me that it's not going to hurt you if others find out."

"Anything this intensely personal in my private life would hurt me if it went public. That's why I'm keeping it close."

"You're not going to be able to keep it close forever. Someone, media or SHIELD, will dig too deep and find out. I can help if you'll let me know. All of your friends can help. We can't always fly by the seat of our pants for a big exposé, but we can prepare for inevitabilities if we have the information ahead of time."

"Well, this time, I'm sorry to tell you, is not your or anyone else's time to know."

"You have to open up to someone, Tony. Keeping it all in will destroy you and James just the same as going public would."

"Then you don't know what going public for us would be like."

Irritation wrapped the air around her in thorns, and Tony could hear the unspoken "no, I don't, so tell me!" that wouldn't spill out of Natasha's mouth. "Then keep it a secret and expect us to still back you up when it collapses around your ears-"

"I don't expect backing for this-"

"Don't push us away, Tony. Not when we had been getting closer. It won't go well. You need friends."

"I need to not be watching my back every five seconds for people trying to spy on me. I may look like I live publicly, but you should know well that I don't. When I assign privacy to something, I want it completely private. Whatever it may be; whether it's tech plans or relationships. I do think things through, you know."

"Then think on it more since you so obviously need to." Tony felt like growing his own claws for such a callous remark. "This warrants more than a few seconds' consideration before distracting yourself with the selectively good parts."

"I don't know what part of you thinks I haven't spent every good moment worried about the not good ones. I thought you were supposed to be a brilliant spy."

"I'm also your friend that's worried for what's going to bury you in the grave you've dug for yourself."

"Well, it's a grave I've already dug. Can't exactly fill it with someone else."

"You have to trust someone with this, Tony. Someone other than James. A lover isn't a substitute for multiple friends."

"I'm trying to tell you I don't want to substitute you for him. I just want privacy."

"But you won't be able to keep it forever."

"So I should give it up early? Is that what you're saying?"

She huffed and dropped her shoulders. "You're being careful in all the wrong places, Tony."

"Look, Romanoff, I'm not changing my mind right now, so you can forget the repeated and re-worded attempts at the same question. When I'm ready to confess, I'll confess."

"Then you might want to get ready fast. If you can't trust us, we start losing faith in the ability to trust you."

Tony recoiled before he could stop the instinctual reaction. And before he could piece together everything that those words broke in him, Natasha turned on her heel and left the way she came. The conversation in the kitchen had dropped off as she went by and didn't resume even after the elevator had shut her off.

What the _fuck_ was that? _"Tell us your secrets or we won't trust you anymore."_ Was that what Tony just heard? As if they didn't all, _all of them_ , keep secrets of their own, big and small. Tony keeps a boyfriend and said boyfriend's job a secret, both relatively small things if one could take out the part about Tony's boyfriend also secretly being Loki, and the Avengers were calling it reason not to trust Tony? His reliability? Were they going to kick him out of the Avengers for having a secret boyfriend? Did he not still go out and risk his life at the drop of a hat to save cities and countries and planets now that he has a boyfriend just as much as when he didn't have one?

_What the hell was their problem with secrets?_

"Tony?" Rhodey's voice was closer than it had been last Tony heard it, and when he looked up, both Loki and Rhodey had come to the corner of the hall and were giving him cautious looks of concern. "Not a good discussion, I'm guessing."

"What is it with spies hating secrets? Isn't that their fucking job?"

"To learn them at their will." Loki said. "Not for secrets to half fall out without warning, still partially obscured and resistant to further solving."

"We're an annoying enigma. How sad for them. Maybe I just want a private life."

"Again: Spies v. secrets, not compatible."

Tony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Whatever. I'm getting dressed and heading to the shop. You coming down with me, babe?"

"Wait, you're letting someone down into your shop while you're working?" Rhodey interjected before Loki could answer. " _Asking_ them down?"

"Well, his theories were proving interesting enough. Why not try practical application?"

"Is that legitimate and literal or is that code for sex in the shop?" Rhodey asked bluntly.

"It wouldn't be the first time for either, honestly. But I do have actual science in mind to work on. And he's got _ideas_ to try out."

"Fine, go enjoy your science. I'll drop my bags in my rooms." Because while Tony did make an entire floor for each of the Avengers, Rhodey's design came first. Rhodey always had a place in Tony's homes.

"I left a surprise for you in your kitchenette."

"Don't you always?" Rhodey grinned and slapped Tony's shoulder warmly before he stepped backwards. "I'll see both of you around?"

"Do join us for supper." Loki requested with something Tony dared to think was actual hope. "Friendly company would be appreciated in the din of spies trying to decipher us and our motives."

"You've got a deal." Rhodey stuck his thumb up in an affirmative as he pivoted on his heel and grabbed his bags off the kitchen floor on his way back to the elevator.

"So... to science?"

"To clothes. Science next. Come." Loki faded back into his own skin and notched a finger in the front of Tony's sleep pants to lead him to the bedroom.

"Hey, not sure I want to go just yet." It wasn't the best way to get Tony to move, hands pulling at pants, but when Loki followed it up with a kiss, Tony moved just to lean forward into it as Loki slowly pulled back. Tony stumbled forward to seek it out again, and Loki rewarded him with a chuckle and another kiss. And again a little farther, over and over until Loki had Tony all the way in front of his closet.

"Be a good boy today, and I'll reward you tonight." He kissed Tony once more before turning him towards his closet.

"I'm still holding you to that." Tony leaned back into Loki and tilted his head to place a little kiss to Loki's chin as Loki giggled - honest to god _giggled_ \- and shoved Tony forward with a playful smack to his ass.

"Get dressed, menace."

"Yes, sir, honey buns." Whether that breath behind him was a pleased and surprised inhale or a happy sighing exhale, Tony couldn't tell, but either was a good noise from Loki. _Happy noises._

Assuming Loki was just going to suddenly be dressed again like last night, Tony wandered into his closet, picked a pair of jeans and one of his polo shirts, and came back out to find Loki... still in the loose pants he wore to bed. Only, he was rooting through that duffel bag he'd brought with him and was pulling out-

"You brought clothes with you? I thought all your clothes were magic."

Loki gave a thoroughly bemused brow furrow even when his smirk was entertained. "Illusions are just that - intangible images. What good would it do me to have armor of magic? All I wear is real, I simply summon and dress myself via magic. Most times."

"So you have real clothes. Like from stores."

"That is generally where clothes come from. I commission a tailor at times as well."

Tony gaped a bit; he couldn't help it. "I'm sorry, but I cannot imagine you wandering a department store and trying shit on in dressing rooms."

"That's why I also commission a consultant. I found one who shared my tastes in cuts, and she assists me on occasion as well as sharing new styles as she discovers them."

"How the fuck do you pay for all that?"

Loki grinned. "Magic. Of course."

Of course. "Doesn't that... defy the law of equivalent exchange? Something having to come from somewhere?"

"One upside I've discovered in this world of technology. I cannot create physical currency, no, but it's rather easy to tease the strings of code that dictate sums in bank accounts. It's intangible. If those translate into physical currency later or remain as virtual trade from one account to another, that falls outside my purview. I only altered an image in a cloud of images."

"Magical money laundering."

"Illusions. Tricks of light."

"What I do with tech, only you're doing it _with your mind_."

"What else would I do it with? A magic wand?"

"You don't need a wand. All you need is your brain. Holy _shit._ " Fuck that noise about magic being an affront to nature. Magic was _magic_. Something much older than the study and practice of science. Science hit barriers, but magic broke them. Magic was - _Loki_ was one of the hottest anything or anyone that Tony had ever wrapped his own brain around.

Loki's smirk turned that slight bit from amusement to lascivious with a little head tilt from one side to the other and gave Tony a thorough once-over. As if he didn't already know exactly what Tony looked like clothed and unclothed. "Something in particular on your mind, lover?"

Well, they were only a couple short steps away from shucking off a single item of clothing per body and just- no. Science first. Priorities.

"Lots of particulars, but first, I think I’d like to further explore all the other ways your brain can defy world rules and exploit loopholes so that tonight we can celebrate it. Right here. Naked. With a couple more magic touches that you've been boasting about for more than a month now."

His lover's eyes were pure delight as he straightened his back and nodded primly. "As long as we have a plan then."


	10. I'll Hide Out In Your Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's second day as James, things start to level out. The couple finds a way to settle into something familiar amidst the weather of anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in the midst of writing chapter 14, that split into chapter fifteen, when I remembered I hadn't finished censoring the rest of the posted story. ^^;; APOLOGIES. HAVE SOME MORE FIC TO MAKE UP FOR IT. 
> 
> I'll post the censored chapter thirteen and fourteen when I post chapter fourteen on the uncut version, and from then on, each new censored chapter will be posted at the same time as the uncut new chapters. Neither fourteen or fifteen have anything to cut, but chapter thirteen is a tricky one to cut the explicit scene on, so you'll have to bear with me as I work out a way that's not too over much but doesn't leave out any important feels. ^^;;
> 
> We're almost caught up, y'all!

Tony managed to wait until they got dressed and went down to the workshop before he rounded on Loki again.

"New magic you mentioned. Talk to me." Out of curiosity and because Loki was the most precious thing when he got talking about magic. Like he knew how impressed and interested Tony would be to know and understand it, and the fact that Tony would actually _be_ impressed and interested and not offended and insulting. So call Tony crazy for falling head over heels for Loki's excited face.

On cue, there was that bright little twinkle within gorgeous emeralds. "It's easier to start by showing you. Are you watching closely?" Tony nodded and could see the flicker of a spell travel over Loki from head to toe, but nothing visibly changed. Loki prompted: "What do you see?"

"You. Just as you were twenty seconds ago. What's the spell do?"

"Check Jarvis' feed of the room."

Ohhhhkaaayyyy... "You heard him, J."

Jarvis dutifully covered the nearest screen with the three different camera angles in the workshop, and it showed Tony right beside Loki. More accurately, it showed Loki as _James_.

"Illusions?"

"Focused illusions. Actually, focused _exceptions_ to an illusion. Every other outside observer can see and hear me as I choose to be seen and heard: as James Larsen. But you and I can see and hear and feel me as myself without a mask."

"Feel you as you too, huh?" This was definitely going excellent places.

"I thought it would make it easier for you to show genuine affection in front of your friends instead of having to kiss a stranger." Loki reasoned.

 _Yeah, and so I can show affection to_ you, _not a stranger. Wouldn't want me getting used to kissing someone other than you in front of my friends, right?_ Tony was absolutely sure that Loki's reason for developing such an illusion was just as selfish as it was truly for Tony's benefit. Who said mutual benefits were a bad thing? Maybe it was a little self-serving and jealousy-driven on Loki's part, but was still helpful to Tony too, so it was a win for both of them.

_"I can confirm that Mr. Laufeyson's voice is registering as James Larsen's voice on my sensors."_

"Well, isn't that a nifty new trick up your sleeve."

"I know how you love tricks."

 _"I love your_ tricks. Because they're brilliant beyond little 'tricks' and into genius skills."

Loki's gaze slipped to the floor as his grin turned more shy and flattered, but he did manage to tame the flush across his cheeks to only a dusting of color before he glanced back up and stepped closer to Tony. "It's no surprise why I love sharing them with you then."

"To be appreciated. Not just you, but the craft itself."

"Yes."

Well, in that case...

Tony touched Loki's cheek and delighted in the smooth jaw he cradled beside his thumb. "Hey, Loki. Let's make some magic."

"It'd be my pleasure, Tony dear." Pulling him in to kiss Tony's forehead, Loki made a purely pleased noise before he pulled back with a slightly more hesitant expression. "Before we get much farther and side-tracked, we need to discuss the story."

"Which story?"

"Yours and James' story in more detail." Loki paused, but Tony could hear more words waiting. "And mine."

"Yours being... your actual own?" There was another story there?

"Yes and no." Loki sighed. "I have a confession."

"Okay..."

"I didn't realize it until later, but... the afternoon that Thor returned from Asgard, when he came to visit you in the hospital, did he mention anything personal regarding me when he came to your room?"

It didn't take much to remember. "He compared us. Said we would have gotten along well in another life and that we were both good liars." Tony shrugged. "Thought it was hinky at the time, but I haven't really had time or the privacy to ask him about it since then. Kind of been ignoring it."

"Yes, well, after arriving here but before he went to meet with you, he called me with a spell he borrowed from my mother. And I indulged it at the prospect of twisting him around more." Loki's gaze had skated off to one of Tony's workshop tables, straightening the angle of one of the tools there as he stalled from getting to the point.

" _And_?"

His sulking frown was firmly set when he looked back to Tony. " _And_ he implied he knew of our affair."

" _ **What?!**_ " That was the point Loki was avoiding? Shouldn't it have been important to tell Tony _before_ suddenly now?! "How does _he_ know?"

"He didn't say. I doubt he has evidence beyond suspicions, and I didn't confirm any of them. I even left him with the implication that the depth of our 'involvement' was all in his imagination."

"And you didn't say anything earlier because _why_?"

"Because I was trying to decide if he would truly be a threat or not. I had no doubt that you would deny anything if he tried to ask, but I was unsure how much he really knew. I came to speak with you about it, intending to discuss it after making sure you would be relaxed enough to not squawk as you are now, but then I found out what had happened to you. Where you were. A thousand apologies for being distracted by the news of your injuries." He snapped sarcastically, and Tony frowned.

"Alright, fine, you had your initial reasons. But you spent how many fucking nights in there alone with me; you could have said _something_ at some point."

"I still didn't know enough. And you had enough worries. I had enough worries for you. I wanted to be calming company, not a reminder and harbinger of yet another thing threatening you."

"Do you think Thor knowing is a threat?"

Loki's hesitation was its own answer, but his words said differently. "I don't think he has real proof of our involvement. How could he? We've left nothing for him to find. We've been careful, Tony, but even Thor is not oblivious to making some connections. When he comes and sees me here, even with another face, he's likely to ask you about it directly now that he can sequester a private setting to discuss it. We should both be prepared to answer without deviation from one another's tale."

"So what's the story then?"

"You tell me. If we hadn't slept together that night instead, if I just saved your life for... for reasons I didn't initially confess to aside from being invested in your continued existence, what reason would you have for continuing to meet with me?"

It was almost funny how quickly the reason came to mind. _Almost_ funny.

**xXx**

By the time they had ironed out details on both of their stories - for James and for Loki - to their mutual satisfaction, Tony's stomach was growling too much to continue ignoring, and Jarvis just went ahead and suggested they have a nice, private meal without the Avengers. They were all too glad to take him up on that, with the slight alteration when they made a detour to Rhodey's floor and invited him up to the penthouse too. Rhodey naturally accepted, and Tony couldn't recall the last time he laughed so hard for so long.

Their late lunch was filled with sharing embarrassing stories of each other and themselves (Loki's always carefully constructed, but Tony could catch bits and pieces he was sure were razor close to actual events with altered settings and names), and Rhodey didn't prod once even though he was very obviously also watching Tony and Loki's body language toward each other as well. With Loki looking like Loki, and Tony able to pretend that Rhodey saw him that way too, Tony gleefully didn't hold back an ounce. Rhodey apparently was satisfied with what he saw.

A spare moment when Loki had gotten up from the table to take his plate up to the counter, Rhodey had given Tony a shoulder nudge and a wink with a whispered: "Some point soon, you're going to tell me how you caught him, and after laughing at how undoubtedly ludicrous it is, I'm going to reconsider my methods of finding dates."

Tony was still giggling when Loki came back with a bemused look and lounged on the sofa beside Tony. "Should I ask?"

"Rhodey wants to know how we met."

"Ah. Well, shall I tell it, or will you?"

"Both." Rhodey interrupted. "Both of you are going to tell me right now before I make up my own horror stories."

"Honestly, it has only been a recent thing." Tony started. "But I don’t think it's anything like what you think it'll be. We spent more time not dating each other and being the bad kind of at each other's necks. And 'dating' is a very... loose term for how we did start."

"Somehow, I am completely not surprised."

"I am an acquired taste. He had to fall victim to my charms at some point."

"I had to find your charms in the first place." Loki noted, and Rhodey snorted into his drink at Tony's indignant squawk.

"Oh, my god, you two are perfect for each other."

"I reached similar conclusions." Loki beamed, and Tony's fake upset faded in Loki's bright face.

"How dare you say so something so sweet after insulting me."

"Well, it is the best way to get you to stop right in the middle of a path to a sarcastic quip." Rhodey reasoned.

"Now you're working together against me! I don't have to sit through this!" Tony tried to stand up and feign leaving the room, but Loki was quick to pull him back down at just the right angle to stumble into sprawling across Loki's lap, and the ensuing laughter and playful struggle lasted them a few minutes more. Conversation switched off of the details of their meeting, and Rhodey didn't bring it back up again. Subject dropped, just like that, and on to other things that didn't involve as many deep lies.

Once they'd had their fill and stayed up there long enough to have dinner together too, Rhodey finally excused himself back to his own floor, and Tony and Loki returned to lab for a while longer - this time for the magic discussion that they had intended to start hours ago.

Magic theory was _nothing_ in comparison to practice. Tony couldn't cast spells as such, novice that he was, but even just learning the mechanics of it, mechanics of fucking metaphysical magic set off all of Tony's boyish wonder in committing every word to mind. They pulled chairs over right next to each other, shoulders and legs brushing as they shifted in their seats while Loki drew and explained the inscriptions needed for their particular project, and Jarvis cataloged each one for later reference.

Every time Tony asked a question or seemed to understand the concepts, Loki looked like his face was ready to split from smiling so wide. He damn near had stars for eyes, he was that into sitting here talking magic. Tony had seen Loki pleased before, seen him flattered, seen him anticipatory. But this Loki? This Loki was like a whole new person. Purely happy and excited to share something he was passionate about and have it be well-received. Even enthusiastically received. Because Tony was not short on enthusiasm here. Had he mentioned _learning magic_? Surely that was reason enough to abandon composed maturity in company and revert back to the excitement he usually reserved for discoveries while alone in his workshop.

As was becoming the usual, Tony was slipping Loki in as an exception to Tony's old rules.

Loki explained the basics of a field down to every last detail Tony inquired about, and when theory had reached its limits, Loki demonstrated and allowed Jarvis to record and play it back, paraphrasing the same things in terms Tony was more familiar with.

They hadn't even gotten to constructing the generator itself before it was way past a reasonable bed time - Tony said that it was perfectly fine since they got up late anyway; Loki disagreed - and Loki insisted on them heading upstairs to bed even though neither of them were sleepy and Tony's brain was still running a high from success and wonder.

Tony invited surprise by daring to walk into his own bedroom first and leaving Loki to close up behind. He could hear the click of the lock as Loki turned the latch. _Oohh, that's why he was so insistent._ It wasn't all that difficult for his mind to switch gears and directions after all.

"Just where I want you." Loki purred, tone dropping to the "I'm about to fuck you six ways from Sunday" timbre that Tony hadn't had enough of recently. "Do you remember what we've yet to finish in weeks nows?"

Tony turned, and Loki pushed away from the secured door to slowly cross the room towards his lover. "The thing we dreamed to do in dreams?" It had been a great idea to try it dreams, but perhaps not as easy to carry out. Tony had the feeling that it was going to be worth the wait now.

"A pity that didn't work as hoped, but I believe it should be easier to control interference and interruptions here. We've had enough delays now, I think."

"Jarvis? I think you can read body language here."

_"I've already set all communications to and from the penthouse levels on Emergency Mode."_

"Good. I think I'm going to be busy for a little while."

"Indisposed for as long as I can keep you that way."

"I'll let you too. Very willingly."

Their mood was all lust, but Loki still cradled Tony's cheeks in both hands and kissed him tenderly as if reassuring him of all that was felt beyond sex. Though Tony was warmly aware of that already, he wasn't going to discourage Loki from these sweet touches that said all they didn't feel comfortable saying out loud yet. The things they _couldn't_ say out loud. Luckily, actions said all that much more, and perhaps it should have worried Tony what they were starting to tread closer towards, the path they were heading down, but... they both knew they weren't going to turn back willingly. 

Not when they managed to settle into something shockingly and marvelously slower than their norm. Marvelous because they _could_ take their time now. It finally wasn't a quick fuck or stealing time between Avengers calls or something that had to stop when someone came close, and they were both content to take advantage of that, delighting quietly in the connection and the languor of no time limits or concerns. It had Tony faintly wondering how many more times they could sneak in doing this again until lazy days had lulled them into a sense of comfort enough to no longer worry about the team's potential disapproval. Just a short time of this had Tony's brain worked up into a delightfully blank space without nothing but Loki on his mind and across his skin.

And just when Tony thought it was all perfect and impossible to disrupt, reality cascaded down again.

Tony's back was to Loki's chest, Loki's hands brushing down and back up the front of Tony's thighs, shifting up to cradle the dip in his pelvis, when Loki's fingers caught the healing scar a few inches to the left of Tony's hipbone, and Loki - along with the mood - froze.

"Will this be alright?" Loki questioned, slipping back from his calloused fingers pricking at the still reddened and jagged shape marking Tony's skin.

"It's fine; I'm all healed up. I got lucky."

"So much of your life depends on luck. Luck that the pieces weren't mere inches further in one direction or another. Luck that your friends could get you out as soon as they did. _Luck_ that your healers were able to help." Loki's arms shifted to cross and tug Tony into a desperate embrace. "I could have lost you." The way Loki's voice cracked was not something Tony was going to comment on.

"I'm okay." Tony insisted, his other hand carding through Loki's hair where it brushed against Tony's shoulder, the god's head laid with his face pressed to Tony's neck and Tony's other hand resting over Loki's forearm. "I'm okay. I'm here. Be here with me."

"But-"

" _Loki._ " Tony stopped him before that could go much farther. Worry was one thing, but they couldn't keep worrying all the time about the what-ifs and what could have happened. What happened did happen, and it got them here. _Both alive._ That was the point, wasn't it? The concerns were understandable but unnecessary. But he needed to remind Loki of the viewpoint _without_ being dismissive. He didn't want to dismiss or belittle, he wanted to assuage concern until Loki was comfortable again.

Releasing his fingers from Loki's hair, Tony hooked his fingers gently under Loki's chin to get him to look up. Once Loki's gaze finally met his, Tony planted a soft kiss to Loki's lips and held it until Loki reciprocated. Tony didn’t break it to move away; he let their foreheads touch instead and gave them a moment. "Are you going to spend the rest of the time I'm alive worrying about a few times I _could have_ died? How are you going to appreciate my not being dead if you're only ever thinking about the times I could have but didn't?"

Loki scowled like he wanted to argue but didn't want Tony to do the same. "I can't stop thinking about what could have happened if even one thing had changed and took you from me."

Oh. Geez. Stuck on this dangerous road. The fear of loss, Tony knew well. The feelings of loss of a particular person that he might or might not be head over heels for, lesser known but still not unfamiliar anymore. This wasn't an unrequited thing after all. But the repetitive thoughts? Tony knew those well enough to know they needed to get knocked off track.

"Hey. Loki. Are you going to keep thinking about me dead while we're trying to have sex?"

Loki made a face that beautifully conveyed his horror at the wording. "Don't be vile."

"I'm just asking."

"It's crass."

And Loki had horrible timing. They both did things in bed they weren't supposed to. "You're getting stuck on the dead thing and forgetting about the sex thing."

"Is it so horrible to worry about your death?"

"It is when that thought outweighs any enjoyment of no death. Worry and protect me after sex. Better yet, let me take care of myself with you helping on the lookout, and we can still have sex. Maybe that last part now?"

Loki's eyes narrowed, peeved as he just stuffed his face back into the curve at Tony's shoulder. Helplessly, a fond smile still pulled at his mouth as he rested his cheek against the top of Loki's head. Maybe it was okay to be one of those couples that skipped sex if Tony still got cuddles out of it.

Cuddles that lasted about five seconds before Loki set his magic to work across Tony's body again. The good thing was that the talk apparently worked. The bad thing was that Loki was still a bastard a special kind of pleasant torture too much. No, scratch that - that last part wasn't really that bad a thing at all.

**xXx**

After, Loki directed Tony down onto his side, fitting into the curl of Loki's body. The magic that swept across Tony's skin this time was light as a silk thread and skimmed off the waste of their activities in a few seconds to leave them clean and perfectly able to stay and recuperate right where they were.

"See now you've got me conflicted on whether sex is better after longer waits or better any time I can get you naked." Tony commented into the comfy quiet broken only by their normalizing breaths.

"It depends on what dictated the wait." Right back to what Tony had thought he'd soothed Loki away from, Loki now brushed his lips against the scar at the back of Tony's shoulder. So much for an afterglow.

"I'm surviving for something." Tony assured, that certainty still set into his brain like a mantra. _There's a reason I survive when others don't. There has to be._ "I'm not going down. Call it luck, if you want, but-"

"I'm just glad you survived. That's all." Loki cut him off, snuggling Tony back against the spooning god. 

For a moment, Tony considered dropping it entirely and trying to just go to sleep, but now something in him was refusing it until he said his own piece again. "You saved me once yourself. When no one else was there, you got me. I can't lose with you on my side." 

"That is my plan." Loki said, only half-joking.

Tony tossed in the embrace and rolled over to face Loki with the god's arm still wrapped around him like a protective barrier between them and the dangers around them. Because surely even in a high security tower with multiple super-powered beings in close range, something would be able to breach his defenses in an instant and snatch Tony away permanently. "You'll just have to stick around me as much as possible, won't you?"

"I've hardly left your side since you left the hospital."

"And didn't keep a huge distance before that either. Look, I can protect myself. _But_ -" he stopped when Loki opened his mouth to argue, " _but_ it's not going to do much harm if you hang around for a few days more, is it?" That was enough to quiet the god by way of confusion. "Sooo you want to move in for a week? Try out the whole live-in boyfriend thing, hang around my shop, make my bed our bed, get pissed off looks from my friends when they walk in on us having sex on places not our bed? Because that's sounding like a good time to me." 

Loki looked like he'd gotten stalled. His eyes were slightly wide, and his head tilted like he was trying to get what Tony meant to say, as if it was some sort of mistranslation for Allspeak that Loki heard. "Excuse me?"

"Just say yes and move in with me." Tony summarized, and Loki quickly spit out "yes" a couple words before Tony even fully finished. "Then we have some things to get done tomorrow. Stories and family and science."

"I'll wake you up in a way to start the morning off well then." Loki grinned, and Tony let out an internal sigh of relief because yes, morning sex, definitely needed to be a thing before a long day. He could finally sleep easily.

"Please do." Tony insisted and shifted to lay using Loki's shoulder as a pillow. 

"Sleep well, Tony." 

"Good night, Loki."


	11. Ask Me No Questions, I Won't Tell You No Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something had to be done. The questions don't stop, and Tony and Loki have to have answers ready for each and every one before they're asked, but telling a lie is easy when you're used to living one.

Waking up to a god using him as a pillow was possibly one of Tony's favorite new ways to greet the morning. That Loki also happened to be so close to setting a hickey into Tony's neck could have been a factor as well though.

What progressed was... different. Things Tony had dimly noted the night before, moods that were different than before Tony's hospital stay, the morning brought the culmination point. 

Tony might have mistakenly let something slip - something embarrassingly close to or exactly like: "You are just unfairly perfect" and Loki, being the kind deity that he was, let it go.

_Not._

Loki had only grinned, then: "Tell me more."

Tony huffed but couldn't bother to be get annoyed by it. He really needed to stop thinking that Loki was one of the merciful gods though. Loki was everything but merciful; only Tony kind of liked him that way. "You're my kind of bastard."

"Thank you. I like to hear it."

Why was it so fucking hard to scowl when Loki was kissing him with a smile so sweet he looked like- no. _Do not fucking finish that sappy simile, you lovesick bastard._

"Happy" would do just fine as a description, thanks so much.

Any illusions they had that this could still be casual were pretty solidly shattered soon after that when they realized what they'd managed to get themselves into. Who would have figured that they'd managed to avoid actually being face-to-face with each other in the act before? Or that it would turn out kind of unexpectedly awesome?

They both laid on their backs in bed in the afterglow, silent but for the rhythm of their catching breaths.

"That was pretty-" Tony started.

"Yes." Loki managed.

"We should do that again some time. Soon. When we're really energized, you know? Because that was-"

"Yes." He repeated.

Amused with Loki's sudden lack of words, Tony didn't question it, and let Loki mull over the obvious overload of thoughts running through his head. After a few minutes, Loki rolled over and planted another kiss on Tony's cheek. "We should clean up. We have a big day to work through."

Tony tried to follow and catch Loki's mouth, but Loki was already climbing out of bed and heading towards the bathroom. Hmm. No mistaking the attitude change there. Fuck, they weren't going through the feelings denial thing again, were they? So two weeks ago.

Getting up and going after him, Tony came up behind while Loki was turning on the shower and plastered himself to Loki's back, wrapping arms around his waist and putting his hands just under Loki's pectorals. Loki didn't shudder him off; he held Tony back as tightly as he always did and craned his neck to kiss the top of Tony's temple like nothing had changed. But when Tony moved back, Loki didn't turn towards him and keep going. Instead he just stepped into the shower like _the hug_ hadn't happened. It was like he was purposefully avoiding looking at-

Ah. Eye contact. He was avoiding eye contact. The reason wasn't particularly difficult to guess; the sex was... well, _fantastic_ , just like the night before, but there was no pretending away this morning's tenderness. Intimacy. Or that other two word phrase that Tony never used for sex anymore. Except that he and Loki were getting dangerously close to qualifying. As long as they didn't say it, it was still safe, right?

_Right?_

Yeah, even Tony couldn't believe himself.

They also couldn't do with awkwardness today, so he got into the shower, set on giving Loki other reasons that eye contact was safe and even pretty awesome.

Closing the door behind himself, Tony slipped around in front of Loki, and before his lover could question, Tony put his hands to Loki's chest and gently crowded him back against the wall. Loki's eyes skated from Tony's hands to Tony's chest to his own body, still trying to not look Tony in the eye, but Tony stayed right where he was until finally Loki looked up and meets his sights. Tony gave him a smile.

"The eye contact thing didn't weird you out, did it?"

"Of course not." Loki defended hotly and convincing absolutely no one, including Loki himself, but Tony opted to not argue it.

"Alright. Good. Because there are all sorts of ways it can be good."

"I know."

"I know you do. But I'm a 'know by doing' kind of guy, and I really think I should give you another example. For science."

Loki narrowed his eyes in suspicion but didn't question just yet.

Tony kissed him once on the lips quickly. "Trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Good. Then keep your eyes on mine and I'll keep going. Look away and I stop. Use that bit of information as you like or avoid it as you like. 'Kay?"

Loki nodded, the ways his pupils started to swallow his irises a good indication that he had an idea of what was coming. When Tony slipped to his knees fluidly, Loki very carefully made sure to not look away for even a second.

Tony was good enough - better than, really - with his mouth and on his knees to smooth the nerves away. For all Loki was usually expressive, Tony was coming to realize that his god had the most _gorgeous_ faces during sex and during blow jobs by extension. Possibly better for the latter. It worked the magic that wasn't magic regardless, and afterwards, Loki seemed more comfortable that things were still... okay.

Yeeaaahhh, Tony needed more and better words. Problem was that the situation wasn't an easy one to describe with any words.

At least they finished morning rituals in relatively comfortable moods - Loki back to not being able to keep his hands to himself and Tony freely letting him help get each other thoroughly dried off with towels before going back into the bedroom for clothes. Eventually. There may have been a brief interlude against the wall (not sex; Tony wasn't fifteen years old anymore) and a whisper of gratitude against Tony's lips that didn't need to be explained, and Tony just kissed him back in acknowledgement. He certainly didn't say anything tender back. Nope. And anything he might have said would _go to the grave with him_.

For all their waking hours were busy, it was just a few minutes after eight when they finished getting presentable and procrastinating necessary company. Thor was going to show up within the next 12 to 36 hours, and some groundwork had to be laid before his upheaval of everything.

Shame that it had to cut in on lab time. This afternoon, perhaps?

Tony clapped a hand on Loki's shoulder from behind and leaned his weight into his lover. "You ready to weave a story?"

"I've done this before, Tony dear. Don't forget my namesakes."

"Wouldn't dream it. J, give me a pleasant surprise and tell me the Avengers are not all in one place?"

_"I regret to inform sirs that the rest of the team, minus Mr. Odinson, is having breakfast or on the communal level of the tower."_

"Rotten luck. Alright, inform them to ready the applause for our presence."

 _"A wise warning, sir,"_ Jarvis' voice followed them as Tony and Loki stepped into the elevator, _"as you were the topic of discussion between them."_

Did they forget about the all-seeing part of Jarvis? Seriously? Well, sucked for them. "How nice of them to include me in my absence. Recorded?"

_"The relevant parts, yes, sir."_

"Queue them for later."

_"Yes, sir."_

Tony rubbed his eyes and rolled his shoulders, readying himself for the onslaught that was surely about to test them, when Loki piped up quietly.

"Oh, and Tony?" Loki added.

"Hm?"

"One more thing."

"Yeah?"

"You're my kind of misfit too, you know."

It was so out of the blue that Tony snapped his head around to look at Loki just as the doors opened, but Loki was facing out at the group awaiting then. Not really the time to ask or discuss it then - and the bastard probably planned it that way - so Tony grimaced a bit and looked out the same as Loki was.

Nothing like being a conversation _stopper_ when you walked into a room. His friends(?) didn't even try to camouflage or cover it at all, just cut off mid-word and turned to stare. Bruce was the first to get up and properly greet each of them with a warm smile and a nod towards the kitchen as he offered coffee from the fresh pot. There was no way Tony was going to turn down coffee at this hour of the morning, so he followed Bruce into the kitchen with Loki going along behind.

"Thought I'd try the dining together thing again if we're both still welcome."

"Of course you are." Clint didn’t much shift from his lounged position across a couple chairs, but he didn't have the closed off expressions that Steve and Natasha did, so Tony was keeping Barton on the nice list for now. "Now you can join the conversation about you."

"You're a shit espionage agent, Barton."

"My job wasn't courting them. My part was excision, not espionage." He shrugged. "You rather I lie?"

"They look like they do." Tony nodded to the supersoldier and the Widow glaring at Barton to no effect. Bruce was affecting a look of patience and amusement while refilling his tea mug, and Tony just went right ahead and led Loki by the arm around the kitchen to hunt out food.

Ooo, muffins. Yes. Was tossing Loki a banana too subtle? Hm. Nope. And it got an eye roll out of his lover, so even better.

"Soooo. What's the latest focus? Am I reckless? Too private? Am I a horrible person for daring to maintain a secret?"

"One question first: how long have you two been _involved_?"

"Few months or so? Before you moved into the tower."

"Yep." Barton snapped his fingers and gave Natasha a shit-eating grin. "Nailed it."

"What's been nailed?" Loki was peeling back the skin on his banana - heh - and stepping up behind Tony as the inventor slid into the empty seat beside Clint's requisitioned pair.

"Guesstimates on when _Tony_ started getting nailed. And when he started showing up from being 'indisposed' with indecently satisfied looks on his face."

"Comes with snagging a good boyfriend. What of it?"

"I said you've more stable since then. More inclined to team work, even. You still grouse like a mule and dig your heels in even harder, but there's been enough positive influences too."

"You're advocating for me?" Loki was wide-eyed, his brows knit together in puzzlement.

"For your effect," Clint clarified. "I know that well enough, even if I don't know you personally yet."

"I'm... touched nonetheless though. Thank you."

"Friends are friends, man. Stark needs all the looking out for that he can get. Boy's a walking disaster magnet."

"And there goes the sentiment out the door. Thanks, Merida. Better than you two have given me though." Tony leaned back in his chair with a pointed glance and silent reactions from Romanoff and Rogers.

"We never said being public would be easy." It could have looked affectionate from outside glances, but all Tony could feel was possessiveness in the way Loki's free hand curled over Tony's shoulder. No, not possession... _Protection_. Sweet and all, but they could really only do so much while keeping under cover. Life was problematic. Life with a lover under a secret identity could _suck_. But Tony never took long in questioning if it was worth it or not. Because it _was_ worth it, and he had no doubt that it would continue to be.

The scrape of furniture to Tony's right pulled him out of the unequal staring contest, and the chair that Barton had been using as a footrest was now pushed up nearly right against Tony's and no longer occupied by the archer's sprawling limbs. When Tony looked to Barton's face, he was looking at Loki and nodding him down into it. Where was all this generosity coming from within Clint of all people? Loki took it regardless, a little cautiously but with a nod of gratitude and a thankful smile as he sank down into the seat and right against Tony, their legs touching and his free hand resting on Tony's knee.

Strange. It felt like nothing but comfort doing far more obvious things in front of Rhodey, but in front of these four, it felt more like a dare to show anything other than neutrality towards his boyfriend - like they already knew Loki wasn't someone Tony was supposed to be with.

At least Tony could say it wasn't about the two guys thing? It wasn't homophobia; it's personal? Nope, still didn't help. And they were still being suspicious, discomforting jackasses. Oddly, with the exception of _Barton_. The back-talking, ex-assassin archer was taking to the relationship better than Steve Rogers. What the hell was wrong with that sentence?

Well, what the fuck. Just get it over with.

"You all have a limited number of allowed questions to ask, it's shared among you four, and either James or I can refuse to answer and still count it as a question. That's the terms. Five questions between four people. Make them worth it."

"You've been involved for a few months." Natasha went headfirst. "You didn't say how long you've known him."

"That's a statement. Not a question." Loki returned.

"I know." She said just as steadily before giving in to Loki's unfazed stare. "How long have you known Tony then?"

"Not much longer than we've been _involved_. But you would have to define 'know' and ask again."

_You little shit. You're having fun taunting them._

"Are you purposefully avoiding answering?" Steve's jaw was clenched like he knew what Loki - what _James_ would say.

"Yes. Three questions left."

Oohhh. That struck a nerve.

Steve's chest swelled with a frustrated intake of breath, ready to fume as his fists clenched. Even with Loki dressed in plain clothes and sitting down, faced with Steve standing in with clothes that hugged his thick physique too closely, there was no hesitance in Loki's unwavering gaze.

Instead, Steve tried to look to the others for some sort of verbal back up. "I can be pretty sure that I speak for almost everyone else when I say I'm still not comfortable not knowing who you are."

"Steve, if you won't drop this-"

"He's as good as a stranger and making no efforts to fix our concerns. All while he's walking around in places that aren't cleared for civilians to be involved in."

" _I_ cleared him." Tony said without room for argument. "I cleared him to go where I go. In _my_ tower. Same as I invited _you_ to stay here. In fact, he came first. Whether he's a civilian or not, it's still _my goddamn property_ , not Avengers' territory. You're guests in _my_ house, not the other way around."

"What has he done to earn your trust, Stark? What else has he done besides-"

"I lied." Loki interrupted, and it all fell quiet and focused on Loki.

"You don't have to respond to him." Tony assured, playing the game they planned, and Loki nodded with a glance to Tony that said "yes, I know" before he looked back to Steve.

_Liars lie with their whole bodies, indeed._

"To know someone is more than to be acquainted with their identity. Tony and I met much earlier than a few months ago. However, I've only gotten to know him recently and start a relationship after."

"Why not say that plainly?" Bruce questioned, a little more suspicion in the furrow of his brows, but he at least seemed to be attempting to offer them the benefit of the doubt. _Attempting_.

"Because the answers were more complex than the questions. And because Tony and I still worried about the response."

"It's not that I don't trust you," Tony said, "it's that I don't know how to trust anyone with this. _We_ didn't know how to trust anyone with it."

"How did you two really meet then?" Bruce was fielding the questions now, asking nicer than Natasha or Rogers seemed to be inclined to.

"Some years ago, at a formal benefit. Stark Industries had been the military's primary weapons contractor." Loki led, all true details, just not connected to each other. "At the time, I worked for a competitor in... we'll call it 'negotiations and acquisitions.' The more public, the better." Such a nice way to phrase Stuttgart and the Chitauri invasion. "The night we met, I was working quite successfully. Until Tony arrived and rather ruined it. I was understandably quite terse in approaching him."

"Threatening." Tony played along, following Loki's navigating the maze of true basics and vague statements interspersed with untrue or unrelated details. "I think there was a claim in there that I was poaching his contacts." Which was true of another time when Loki had been sweet-talking another superhuman, and Tony - along with the Avengers - stopped it.

"When Tony claimed that the whole place was 'his turf and his stuff' were the words used, I believe, before saying that I was the poacher there. We didn't part on fond terms that night. Or the majority of the dozens of benefits we met through again over time. I later changed occupational forces, but we still weren't friends or even close acquaintances. Until about a year ago."

"What changed a year ago?"

"It just did. Tony was less annoying and more charming. Or perhaps the way I saw him changed. The air that night was... different. From then on, the occasions that we spoke were not purely a battle but instead simply conversations. Sharing glimpses into the highs and lows of our lives since our last meeting. Until finally, an invitation home."

"Less invitation, more statement, but I liked it."

It was truth enough that Loki actually grinned slightly. "It was agreed to nonetheless." Too soon, the smile fell. "He was with me earlier in the night when his tower was infiltrated. He had been on his way back home." He scoffed in disbelief and relief. "A stroke of unbelievable luck."

"That is lucky." Rogers only looked mildly convinced.

"It happens sometimes, Rogers. You think it's not possible?"

"I don't see why wouldn't just say that you were with someone. You lied from the start. Why keep hiding him?"

Thank god Loki was insistent about going in depth with their lies and story-telling. Every question they asked, Tony and Loki already had worked out an answer for the possibility yesterday. "You have no idea what going public would mean."

"You aren't competitors any more, but that doesn't mean the publicity would be any less negative for both of you." Natasha cottoned on. _Finally_. "Especially for James though. It could cost him his job, and with how well-known Tony is, the knowledge would follow James everywhere he tried to go."

"And the lady gets a whole dollar for guessing that right." Tony awarded. "If I hired him on at Stark Industries for his actual talent, not just because he's my boyfriend, then all anyone would think would be 'nepotism' and that he's getting where he is for fucking the boss."

"Wouldn't take long before..." Natasha slumped back in her chair. "Before it shook your foundations apart." She echoed from the other day when Loki and Tony first taunted with unspecific but foreboding reasons for keeping their secrets. Now, right now, Natasha seemed to be making the connections. Shamefully, Tony had the faintest hope that she would understand later when the actual truth came out, but he doubted it instantly and cast off the idea before it could even settle in his thoughts as a possibility. Some things really were too high in the clouds to dream of.

"You mean coming out could break you apart?" Confusion had overruled the suspicion in Rogers' face.

"And still follow James for the rest of his career, probably. Association is a bitch. This _can't_ go public. Can't go any further. It would ruin us." More truth. All the fun parts about destruction and anger were the true parts.

While Steve and Natasha were looking at each other with considering expressions, Tony moved one hand to Loki's knee and squeezed it.

 _Signal_.

Loki squeezed Tony's knee back and patted it.

_Acknowledged._

_Guess this, Avengers._

"We're not going to go public with your secret." Steve said decisively. "But you could have told us earlier."

"If you're so sure about that, then I must not have explained it well. Listen - _no one else knew._ Because once someone knows, the truth gets out there and things get fucked. And we get fucked over. Honestly, I could have gone a while longer being completely secret."

"And how does James feel about that?" Steve asked, refocusing to Loki. "You can't want to stay in the shadows, can you?"

"Captain Rogers, if things go badly, I have the most to lose. Of course I supported staying quiet. I was and am still no less a part of Tony's life. Don't confuse our silence with neglecting each other."

Tony’s pleased little smirk couldn’t quite be smothered, and Steve's displeasure couldn't be either. "What else are you going to question here, Cap? What are you trying to prove? That James is worthy of sticking around _my_ life when I chose to put him here? That he's worthy for your presence?"

"We're trying to look out for you, Tony." Natasha claimed.

"And you're doing a great job of it. So why don't you say what you're _really_ thinking when you're questioning my life choices."

Steve was just opening his mouth to say something when the klaxons blared a short, jarring alarm: intruder alert, Avengers assemble and dispatch.

_"There's a disturbance in Union City."_

Tony shot to his feet at Jarvis' voice. "Who and what are they doing?"

_"Loki. He's drawing attention fairly harmlessly at the moment, but I don't anticipate him to continue the trend."_

"I'm going."

"No, _we're_ going. You're staying here." Steve decided for everyone.

No way in _Hell_ was Tony going to just accept it. "What? No, I'm not staying behind!"

Even the the rest of the Avengers stopped frozen in the process of leaving to instead glance between the opponents in the latest and nearest fight.

"Sorry, Tony, but I actually agree with him." Bruce, the _traitor_ , said.

"I'm not sitting around while you face _Loki_! You need the help!"

"Last time, he left almost immediately when you didn't show up." Steve reasoned. "I don't think you should be around for what he's wanting."

"And if I don't show up, he's going to keep looking for me until he finds me. He can get back here a lot faster than you can."

"Then stay here with James. This could be another distraction, and I don't want Loki getting into something he's not supposed to while we're in the next state over."

"Steve-"

"If he leaves and shows up here, who's going to look out for James? And what's Loki going to do when he finds out about your boyfriend?"

"Are you implying Loki has some sort of _inclination_ towards me?"

"He does target you in fights a lot."

"Because I give him a fight. I talk and make dirty jokes and treat him like he _is_ a fight and not just someone to take down. I treat him like he treats all of his opponents. Of course he's going to target me! Flirting does not equal wanting to get into my pants. You don't have to 'no homo' out of it just to enjoy the game in the field."

"Whether he likes you that way or not, until you're healed, I don't want to risk it. Loki doesn't pull his punches."

Tony clenched his jaw and let it lie this time. Whether said not-villain was sitting right beside Tony or not, it would be rude to imply Loki was anything other than an all-out, no holds barred, go big or get your ass taken down kind of a fighter.

"Maybe it would be best. I'll keep you occupied." Loki suggested. "You may be healed enough for me, but Loki is another story."

_You're enjoying hearing about yourself like this, aren't?_

Amusement nearly threatened to show on Tony's face, but he smothered it when Steve reiterated his _orders_ like the over-promoted fucktrain that he was.

"Stay here today." Rogers repeated. "And avoid any areas you're known to frequent: your lab, your personal floors, even the communal levels. Hang out on one of our personal floors until we get back. But stay here and keep James in sight. Will you do that, Tony?"

"Jarvis is going to tune me into your communicators." Tony added on without any room for negotiation. "I want to know what's going on the whole time."

"That's fine. We'll keep you updated."

"Not updated, _in tune_. Not relayed messages, _same frequency_. The second you hear each other, I hear the same things. The second something isn't right, I'm putting on my suit and coming over there if I have to put James in a suit alongside me. And you're bringing Rhodey too. Jarvis, did Rhodes already get the message?"

_"He's already suited up, sir, and awaiting confirmation."_

"I really don't think-"

"Loki's busting up New Jersey, and you're standing here arguing with me? You're one man down without me, and _Rhodes is going with you._ Get your ass on the jet, Captain, time's a-wasting." So Steve looked like a lemon had magically appeared in his mouth and that he was compelled to bite down on it, but really, he had started the argument. "C'mon, babe, it's time to settle in for the radio show. Who's volunteering their personal space then?"

"Take mine." Clint offered. "But don't go peeking around. I'll know if you do."

"No promises. Now go suit up, Barton."

"Yeah, yeah, go mind your own business, Stark."

Tony pulled Loki towards the elevator that went to all the residential and personal floors while the Avengers crowded towards the elevator on the other side of the room that led directly to the flight floor and their suit room. It was inefficient to have only one elevator for a multi-purpose tower. Once the doors had closed them off, Tony deflated into Loki's shoulder, all at once exhausted despite not being up for all that long.

"Well, that contingency plan came in handy shockingly well."

"I thought it would." Loki said.

"You need to focus?"

"By the time the Avengers arrive at my clone's location, yes. We have a short while to settle in."

"Well, Barton has a sofa. Wanna be my pillow?"

"Gladly, Tony dear."

"Square deal." The elevator opened, and Tony grabbed Loki's hand again. "This way. Take a seat."

Loki lounged across the sofa seat, and tugged Tony down on top of him, both of them shifting until they found a comfortable enough position with Tony's back to Loki's chest and Loki's arms around Tony’s waist to settle lightly clasped on top of his stomach.

_"The quinjet has left the tower now, sir. Estimated arrival is ten minutes."_

"Tune me in when they remember to turn on their communications."

_"That very well might be a few minutes, sir."_

"Fine." Tony closed his eyes with a sigh and leaned his head back against Loki's shoulder. "So tell me what _you're_ doing."

"A little light mayhem. I've done worse than this on Asgard." Loki sounded more amused with himself than peeved at the change; though masquerading as someone else in the enemy's stronghold was more than a little bit of mischief too.

"How do clones work any way? Especially from all the way over here?"

"Clones and mirrors were some of the first spells that intrigued me so much that I had to learn magic."

"Tell me about it."

"Is that rhetorical?" There was laughter in Loki's voice, and Tony just wanted to surround himself with it.

"Nope." He arched back to look at Loki upside down. "Literal. Tell me about it."

Loki smiled and trailed a finger along the line of Tony's jaw. "Alright then. Lay back." Tony resettled himself and let his eyes drift closed. "Mirrors in immediate distance are easy. Child's play. A bend of the light with just a twist of fingers. Noncorporeal clones beyond viewing range are slightly more difficult and take a different method. It's more than just bending light then. And corporeal clones in another location actually requires a talisman that I think you'll be familiar with."

Tony wrapped himself up in Loki's voice around his head and prompted: "Yeah? Enlighten me."

Quite a few secrets were spilled in just a few minutes; Tony's brain making more connections between Loki's confessions and other theories the Avengers had long voiced regarding him, but there Tony was, not even considering confessing a word of this to the Avengers. These were things Loki was sharing to another interested and curious mind, a lover, and a trusted companion. Tony was all of this to Loki, and Loki was the same for Tony. Supposedly, being a hero took acting like one, even if only for four or five moments in their lifetime to make a decision for good things. Well, Tony was making his decision in this moment. His heroism was debatable anyway, what did another choice against the greater good do?


	12. Say What You Mean (I Want To Believe)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No two eyes see the same thing. An enemy from one angle, is a lover to another, is just a man to someone else.

"Loki, put it down."

"No."

Natasha grimaced at the simple answer, as childish as it was sharp like a whip crack. She had gotten to Loki's position first, the rest of the team was dispersed working to reorder from Loki's... effects. Another way couldn't be found to describe the senseless, harmless, but still undeniable _mayhem_ that Loki was influencing. Though the chaos was less him personally and more the public's reactions, he was still the cause of it nonetheless. If Loki would just let her get close enough - and if this was the real Loki in front of her - then she could steal from _him_ and maybe pull at least one of Loki's tricks away from him.

The talisman dangling from one hand was one Loki had stolen quietly almost a year ago and had shown up somewhere on his person nearly every time since, usually during the most trying battles. Especially when he was splitting their forces to distract them one place while he took something else. There were theories surrounding that talisman, of course. Thor took photos to the mages on Asgard, and they claimed it was related to sight and form, but that it wasn't of Asgard and so they were unfamiliar with its specific uses. Natasha figured it had something to do with how Loki could use his clones, but it was still just a theory, and Loki was unlikely to spill his secrets. He favored leading them along like pieces on his chessboard instead.

And Natasha was _not_ going to be Loki's pawn.

The aspiring puppet master himself gestured grandly at the field and then looked back to Natasha. "And where is the true Iron Man today? I see his friend in grey, but nothing of the original. I would have thought him to return to the field a week ago at the latest. Has something gone amiss in his life?"

"Stark’s presence or lack of it is hardly your business."

"How cryptic. And on the contrary, it is _very much_ my business. I rather like to know where all my enemies lie in wait. So I ask again:" he stepped forward, "where is Stark?"

"Indisposed."

Loki looked almost vindicated by the answer, like he was waiting and wanting it. _What the hell was he up to?_

"I see." He said, oily indulgence and simpering. "Well then, if I'm not enough of a challenge to merit your whole team, I suppose I shall have to, as they say, 'up my game' until my threat is worth the full of your forces." He gave a mocking bow as he slid one foot backwards- "Until then, Agent Romanoff." -and out through one of his created rifts.

Shit. "You hear that on your end?"

 _"Sounds less like desiring me and more like looking for trickery."_ Tony said across the line. _"Can't blame him. I like to know if anyone is hiding and waiting for me. Probably thinks I'm on backup duty waiting for him to show up elsewhere."_

 _"That's laughable."_ Clint scoffed. _"Stark on backup? We'd have to cut his legs off."_

_"Damn straight, and yet, let me remind you where I am right now."_

_"Healing from your hospital stay."_ Steve reminded in turn.

_"If I can have sex with my athletic boyfriend, I can put on a protective suit and fight an alien."_

_"Remind me how that suit worked against earth bombs?"_

_"This suit has saved your ass plenty of times, Barton."_

"Boys, shut up." There were displeased silences from the archer and the engineer, but no one broke Natasha's command. "Stark, keep an eye out. I don't like the sound of Loki's threat."

_"Jarvis is on alert, Romanoff, don't you worry your spinnerets. My butler is always on point."_

_"Don't you mean except when-"_

"Don't finish that phrase." She warned, and Clint's mouth clicked shut with an audible snap over the earpiece. "Tony, we're headed back to the tower now, and until we get back, we're keeping the lines open. Anything weird happens, let us know. Weirder than Clint's decorating choices, at least."

_"Yeah, weirdness already. I'm sitting in Barton's living room, and there are arrow holes in the wall. What the fuck, Barton. Was the whole separate shooting range with the rest of the training rooms too far to go or something? I'm not paying to have these walls patched if you can't keep them arrow-free."_

_"Stop bitching, Stark. What do arrows in my living room matter to you?"_

_"My. Tower. I swear to god, I feel like a parent."_

"And that's why you're not allowed on _my_ floor of the tower."

_"Excuse me? Widow, what are you doing to your floor? My god, children."_

"It's the same thing I'll do to _your_ floor of the tower if you two don't play nice for twenty more minutes."

_"So I can beat the snot out of Barton after twenty minutes?"_

"I'll take care of him on the jet." She spotted the archer on the sidewalk across from her, and he wasn't even facing her. Sweet, trusting boy.

_"Oh, shit. Stark, I take back everything I said."_

_"Nuh-uh, you're in the Widow's Web now. I am just too far away to protect you. What a shame I had to stay here."_

_"Bruce, Steve, help me out here?"_

_"Natasha, I will hold Barton down if you can get him quiet."_ Steve offered.

 _"Kind of inclined to help there."_ Bruce said.

_"I'm just going to take a taxi home, okay, guys? Meet you back at the tower, no big. No hard feelings."_

Natasha stepped up behind Clint. "Plane's waiting, Clint."

He startled with a curse and turned around. Stark's giggles could be heard over the comms, and Natasha used the evil laughter to set her mood and turn the corner of her lips up as she nodded down the street towards their landing site. "You coming?"

He grimaced but cautiously stepped around her, all fear for show, but it entertained them both and got exasperation and amusement from the rest of the team, so the harm was nil. If she grabbed the back of his neck as she came up behind him and gave a little squeeze, then it was just more for the audience.

"Bruce, start the launch sequences, we're on our way back."

 _"Roger that, Ms. Romanoff."_ Bruce agreed amicably, undoubtedly pleased to not only avoid coding green today but that his position as backup in case Loki teleported somewhere he shouldn't be was unneeded as well. Lately, Bruce was far more preferential to babysitting the jet than having to get into a fight and be sung his lullaby to come back to himself.

The walk back was mostly perfunctory discussion of details surrounding the not-fight, and the talk naturally died off as they ran out of things to tell. Bruce was waiting calmly just inside the back hatch, and once they all filed in, Steve reminded Tony over the comms again to keep a look out (Tony said a few choice words regarding things in Steve's body cavities) and Bruce closed the door. Rhodes was flying back in the suit, and Tony was already betting his friend he could make it back to the tower sooner than the others could. As the rest of the team took place by handles to steady themselves for take off, Clint and Natasha climbed up front to man the pilots' controls.

No one talked about Tony’s boyfriend on the flight over, but the flight back, the mikes were unanimously switched off, and Steve had the first word from behind Clint's seat.

"So James' story sounds odd."

"Stark doesn't like them normal." Clint reasoned.

"It actually sounds like it could have some weight." Natasha added. "I'm going to see about putting in a few checks outside of SHIELD's radar anyway, but it seems to be... believable."

"I don't know." Steve stared out the windshield. "I don’t get why they kept it so secret."

"Believe the people that have been paid to know how to start fights, Cap." She said. "It's plausible why they would keep it secret."

"I don't understand the scandal. I thought it was illegal to discriminate against orientation nowadays."

"It is illegal, but since when has that stopped anyone from sticking to their outdated morals? It's becoming more acceptable to identify as other than straight, but there are still enough people that don't like it to make problems. And dating a guy isn't always the only reason."

"But why would it-"

"Cap. Just listen." Clint took over. "Take the gay part out of the equation. Narrow it down to Tony."

"Stark Industries doesn't do weapons contracting anymore. It shouldn't be considered a conflict of interest for Tony and James to be involved."

"It's not. All it takes is that it's _Tony_ , and there are going to be questions. Generally, associating with Tony is like a tool. A method of furthering your own goals. And if James' peers and superiors could get something out of James' association, then it wouldn't be a problem, but they aren't, so it is. Suddenly, James is just Tony Stark's boyfriend and isn't viewed as having a stance of his own and is reduced to an accessory. Like most of Tony’s partners have been - except for Pepper or anyone else that wasn't already well known or infamous in their own right before being connected to Tony. It's _Tony_ that would make it a problem."

Steve's brow crumpled together as he shifted his jaw. "Tony's defending and protecting James because James is taking a chance on him. That's what you're saying."

"Understandable now, Rogers?" Clint questioned needlessly, and Steve grimaced but nodded with a quiet "yeah, I get it" before closing himself off in thought.

"Tony's defense of James is easy enough to get from that point of view." Bruce put in. "My curiosity is piqued by how James looks after Tony. Like he covets his every moment."

"Tony is hard to pin down. But James seems to have that managed just fine." Natasha noted honestly. "He seems worried that we're going to try and convince Tony away from him."

Clint scoffed. "Like we could."

"But James doesn't know the kind of people we are aside from secondhand accounts." She said. "He doesn’t know what to expect. Any approval we show towards him, he's surprised."

"But really happy." Clint pointed out. "You saw his face this morning."

"Complete shock," she agreed, "and he spent much of the rest of the time either trying to refocus and comfort Tony or watching how we interacted. He's sharp and cautious, bordering on paranoid."

"Let's face it though: Tony is too, only he hides it better."

"It says something that two guys with trust issues as big as theirs have found and put so much trust in each other though, doesn't it? Or is that more bad omen?" Bruce sounded incredulous, but he didn't sound like he was seriously questioning it and more accepting a fate of not knowing all the details. "I'm still honestly torn on good omen or bad omen."

"I guess we'll see, won't we?" Clint said with finality enough that the jet passengers turned to contemplative silence.

The next few minutes of the flight held few words more than checking on Tony, and the weight of everyone's thoughts was like a physical pressure in the air. Four miles out from the tower, Tony called with the bad news: someone on high let Thor know that Loki made an appearance, and despite Loki having already left, Thor was on his way back to the tower.

Tony grumbled up his own storm over it, and Natasha could hear James trying to soothe him indiscernably in the background, but Tony wasn't having it. He was rightfully suspicious of Thor's reaction to James, but he was rather brash in adding that James had enough confrontation with Tony's friends and that they needed a fucking break from it. No one disagreed with Tony on the latter, though timing had them landing within seconds of that statement, and Steve informed Tony that they would be there to help shield James in a few minutes. Steve actually looked _relieved_ to switch the comms off again, and frankly, Natasha was right there with him.

Tony had an abrasive personality that wore on everyone he was facing. If you weren't under the brunt of his focus, it was more entertaining, but the discussion this morning hadn't endeared any of them to Tony at all, and Tony had no moderation in any of his emotions. As wide and thoughtful as Tony's generosity could be when he cared for someone, his spiteful, catty vengeance and acidity was just as strong. The Avengers swung heavily between both categories of Tony's treatment, but it seemed they had gotten themselves into dire straits for the next while until their moment of redemption or Tony's forgiveness.

No one bothered to change out of their suits before going to meet James and Tony still on Clint's floor, and when they got there, the couple was thankfully sitting upright in their own spots on the sofa. Rhodes had already made it and was sitting on the arm of the sofa with a look of utmost patience.

"Jarvis is going to send Thor straight to us when he gets here." Tony said by way of greeting. "Though I don't see why we couldn't send him on a goose chase a few other places first." He directed towards James.

"A frustrated demigod called back to base because of his antagonistic brother that's already disappeared, and you want to madden him even more? Directly before introducing us? Yes, dear, that's bound to go over well."

"But it will-"

"It will entertain you for but a short time before being a larger hassle. Tony, I'm telling you it's bad idea."

"Fine, have it your way." Tony huffed and put up an annoyed front and James a fond but steely one, but Natasha could easily spot the lack of tension in their bodies that spoke more than their words did. Not that the small argument was faked by any means, but Tony wasn't taking "losing" the argument personally, and James wasn't forcing or bossing Tony around.

It was... odd to witness. Tony _always_ argued. He always annoyed opponents. He fought like a dog with bone and rarely let go, but then here he was, doing just that and dropping it. Natasha was debating whether it made James more impressive or more suspicious. Their story of longtime familiarity and growing affection could have explained it, but Natasha had seen people betray Tony in ways big and small more often than anyone should have to endure, and the worry that James could turn for the worse still held Natasha in a tense hold.

"Did I really just see Stark backing down?" Clint looked as confused as the rest of the team, but James looked smugly pleased while Tony turned amused and Rhodes gave an enthusiastic nod.

"It's okay to admit jealousy, Barton." Tony assured.

"It's not jealousy; it's suspicion. Did you switch out our friend while we were gone? Because this is not Tony Stark."

James laughed, and his face split into a smile so wide and bright that Natasha was starting to understand how _Tony_ fell for _James'_ charms more than the other way 'round. And that was before she saw the way Tony practically gave a dreamy sigh at the sight himself. A very subtle dreamy sigh. Now that was impressive.

"Maybe you haven't learned the right reward system for encouraging his good behavior." James teased, and Clint physically turned away from thinking about that.

"And I'm not going to learn it for Stark, thanks. I'll leave that part to you."

James shrugged. "It's your assumption that the reward is sex. There are far easier things to use in bartering Tony’s compliance on occasion."

"Now bartering good behavior I can get." Natasha said and took possession of one of the arm chairs.

"Give some, get some. Not just a tacky way to talk about sex." Tony said.

"Yes, and if you'll behave when Thor arrives, you'll get what I promised you earlier." James reminded cryptically. The Avengers all shared similar narrowed-eyed looks at the couple and between each other, but neither inamarato helped explain the code.

Tony looked James square in the eye and nodded with a tight - unmistakably a _good_ kind of tight, like barely contained excitement - "you got it" before he looked back to the group and clapped his hands to change the subject. "Alright then, Thor is a few minutes out, so what's the story for him?"

"You don't want to tell him James is your boyfriend?" Bruce questioned.

"I want him to sit on the handle of that overpowered toy hammer if he insults my boyfriend. Anything else?"

"Perhaps we should play it by ear." James offered.

"He's probably going to ask about Loki first." Bruce said.

"There's not much to tell." Natasha added. "He came, he messed around, he left. He's trying to be king of the chess board."

James tried to hide his laugh in a feigned cough before he covered his mouth, but no one was convinced. Tony just rolled his eyes with a sigh.

"Something on your mind?" Steve pushed.

James definitely couldn't smother his smile all that well. "Loki. You call him king of the chessboard. That he won't make moves when Tony is off the field."

"And?"

"And James is implying I'm Loki's queen. Right?"

"Not _his_ queen specifically."

"Just _a_ queen. I'll remind you that queens have all the power, sugarplum."

"Exactly why Loki would likely want to know _your_ moves before making his own. Kings aren't defeated by other kings; they're defeated by strong soldiers. Don't trust a clearing for attack if you can't see all the powerful players."

"Inspiring. Let's drop the metaphors and go more literal for Thor, 'kay?"

"I doubt that'll help his understanding much, but if you say so."

For only meeting them the day before yesterday and having never met Thor or Loki before, James seemed to have - or feel like he had - a better bead on the two aliens than could be seen as normal. Then again, Natasha had no idea how much Tony might have talked about the Avengers to James. If they had been in a relationship for months and been acquaintances for what must have been years, then perhaps Tony did build up quite an image through mentions of the team. And of opponents like Loki. Maybe Natasha was trying to look too deeply into something that was really nothing.

_"Mr. Odinson has arrived and is in the elevator."_

Tony made an unhappy grunting noise. "Well, we got shit time for any other game plan plotting, so sounds like we'll let Thor's reactions answer what we will and won't say."

"Deep breaths, dear." James reminded as he shifted to sit more on one hip, ending up more sideways on the sofa to better see the elevator.

"Thanks, I won't forget." Clint said, and James threw a look over his shoulder with a sarcastic head tilt at the archer that said more than any words needed to. Clint only grinned back. Tony stayed put belligerently for a few seconds before huffing in annoyance and mirroring James.

Thor charged out like the place was on fire as soon as the doors opened, and he actually looked caught off guard that everyone was so calm. "Did I hear wrong? Was Loki not here?"

"New Jersey." Steve explained. "There and gone again."

"That does not sound like my brother."

"It does when I stay here again, and Loki is paranoid as fuck about getting into a trap."

Thor looked to Tony as he spoke and took a hesitant step forward at the sight of James beside Tony. "Do we have a new team mate?" He asked, eyes narrowed and a crease between his brow as he tried and failed to decipher what wasn't being said.

"No, he's with me." Tony was short, and Natasha saw the placating hand James put on Tony's knee and gave a small squeeze. The inventor sighed a bit and rephrased himself. "Thor, this is James Larsen. James, Thor Odinson."

James shifted up to both of his knees on the sofa cushions and reached over the back of the sofa to extend his hand to Thor. It didn't go without noticing that James wouldn't even get completely to his feet to greet Thor, and while Thor didn't seem to realize that, he noticed that it was very informal, and the god didn't appear too pleased with it. He approached closer with caution to shake James' hand, and Natasha half-expected a fight to break out at the - for lack of a more fitting term with a thunder god in company - electricity that was about ready to arc between the two. But they released the shake with James' stiff "a pleasure to meet you" before he sunk back down to sit on his hip with his legs folded in between Tony and himself. He didn't take his eyes off of Thor, but James moved his hand to take hold of Tony's behind the sofa back where Thor wouldn't see.

"I don’t believe I understand. You say he's not a teammate, but he resides here with permission?"

"Must he be talked about like he's not here?" James had a look of flat anger, his face perfectly smooth but undeniably peeved for all the treatment wasn't unexpected.

"I don’t mean to offend-"

"Then don't." Tony interrupted. "He's in the building because I invited him to be. He's on Barton's floor because Barton invited him to be. James is a friend of mine."

"I've never known a friend of yours that didn't fight at your side and was allowed so many places still." Thor attempted reason and logic but still wasn't making the connections.

"He's a special friend. He's-" Tony took a deep breath and turned to James with a mischievous glint in his eye. "What would you call it?"

James gave him a careful look, his brow raised as Tony gave the slightest encouraging nod. Completely silent communication. Now _that_ was interesting.

"A boyfriend." James broke the silence and looked back to Thor. "I would be called his boyfriend."

Thor tilted his chin up, regarding the couple critically for long moments before he turned his stormy gaze to the rest of the team.

"Tell me about Loki." He evaded, ignoring James and Tony for now.

"Like we said, not much to tell." Rhodes said, and Natasha could hear the defensiveness in his tone. She originally thought that Rhodes would be especially intolerant of Tony's leanings, but that idea was easy to dispel when remembering that Tony was Tony and that Rhodes had known Tony a lot longer than any of the Avengers had. There were secrets in Tony's head that Natasha could never surmise but were likely given to Rhodes freely in confidence years ago. Thinking of Rhodes as another soldier like the stereotype would only ever prove them wrong.

"There is always more to Loki." Thor defended like it would save him, but Rhodes' glare didn't fracture for a second.

"Not today. So unless you want to talk about other things that have you pissed and why..."

Thor resolutely didn't look at Tony or James. "No. I will be in my rooms if I am needed."

No one stopped Thor from leaving, and when Natasha looked back to Tony, the inventor was grimacing and staring at the back of the sofa in front of him. Expected, yes, but it didn't stop the disapproval of a friend from hurting. James was holding his hand tighter, his thumb rubbing soothing circles across Tony's knuckles but to little apparent avail. Rhodes stood and clapped Tony on the shoulder before sinking onto the sofa seat beside him. Lover on one side and best friend on the other, Tony closed his eyes and tried for a calming breath in and out that only came out shaky in the quiet of the room.

James whispered to Tony so softly that the room at large wouldn't hear them, but Natasha could see his lips close enough to read his gentle consolation of " _we don't need his approval, you know that._ "

"It doesn't matter what I need." Tony said louder and the other three men turned to Tony now. "Still doesn't excuse him being an _asshole_."

"That wasn't how you thought the rest of us would react, was it?" Steve questioned with genuine worry, like he had somehow been giving the wrong impression of what kind of person and what kind of friend he was.

It wasn't often that Tony looked his age, so tired and his eyes so distant they were disturbingly glassy on someone who was always expressive. "When I was keeping this secret? About him?"

James didn't look at Tony; he was too busy staring at the floor beside Natasha's chair, but he squeezed Tony’s hand tighter.

"I didn't know what to expect." He answered himself before turning his gaze to Steve. "And I still don't."

Steve frowned and stepped forward, and Tony stared up at him with something like reticence. "Tony, I'll be the first to admit my shock, but it was never about James or you personally. If you say you're happy, I'll trust that. I was only ever concerned with the secret because I thought something worse was going on. Something that you weren't letting us help you through. I worried about _you_. You're my friend. I'm sorry if I've made it seem I think of you as anything less than that."

Tony's mouth had fallen open somewhere in the middle, and his eyes were glassy again for a whole 'nother reason.

Steve continued to drive the knife in deeper: "We only want to make sure you're okay. That's it."

"Okay, people, you broke Tony." Rhodes deflected after a few silent seconds, wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulder and tucking his other hand under Tony's forearm as he tried to direct him into standing. Tony broke Steve's gaze and looked from Rhodey to the floor as they stood in sync and James followed with them. "Time to push the reset button. C'mon, Tones, let's step down to your workshop."

That got a bit of a rise out of him, and Tony moved a little less stiltedly with a favorable goal in mind, but he still didn't say another word on the way to the elevator. Rhodes and James both waved over their shoulders with promises of later talks, but they hustled a silent Tony away from company about as fast as they could get away with at a walking pace.

Every time things seemed like they made sense... then there was more to be suspicious of all over again. Tony was still hiding _something_ , and though Natasha couldn't even pin what it was even related to, she could tell how much Tony dreaded - maybe even feared - it becoming known. Maybe it showed how soft she was getting if she had to debate whether or not she wanted to dig it out.

"That wasn't just me thinking it was weird, right?" Bruce faced the group as Steve took a seat in the spot previously held by James. "The weird that had nothing to do with Thor."

"He's afraid." Natasha surmised, and Bruce grimaced. "Tony's afraid about something to do with us."

"No surprise when he apparently expects us to act like jackasses." Clint said.

"You mean like Thor." Bruce shook his head. "He changed his tune from curious to turned off pretty fast."

"But was it the guy thing or was it something else?" Steve questioned with a glance between Bruce and Natasha. "Not that he looked too happy about the 'boyfriend' remark, but he was pretty focused and concerned about Loki first and foremost."

"Aren't we all?" Bruce said.

"Maybe someone should ask him before we jump to conclusions."

"You get right on that, Steve. Let us know if it was homophobia or a brother obsession that had Thor snubbing Tony's boyfriend in probably the most obvious brush off in the history of brush offs." Clint suggested. "I vote we send Rhodes down there. And see if Jarvis will let us watch."

 _"For that, I will keep a backup recording for future entertainment purposes."_ Jarvis chipped in, and Clint pulled a sharp grin.

"All in favor?"

_"Bear in mind, you would have to further endure Mr. Stark's complaints during the repairs of all damaged equipment, areas, and any minor injuries Lt. Colonel Rhodes might take on afterwards."_

"Oh." He frowned. "I withdraw my vote."

_"Better to have Mr. Odinson volunteer his opinion on the subject rather than force it from him. I believe I can think of a manner to persuade him into doing so."_

"You really are Stark's, aren't you?"

_"I am modeled after the man that raised Mr. Stark, so therefore, perhaps he is more like me."_

Clint's mouth opened and shut wordlessly with a click. "That actually made a weird level of sense, and it's kind of disturbing me because it's like asking if the chicken came before the egg."

_"I thought that might serve to occupy you."_

"Two of the same twisted kind." He groused and marched off towards the more private rooms in his quarters.

Steve didn't last much longer before he stood and paced a bit restlessly in front of the sofa. "I'm going to hit the gym. You want to join me, Natasha?"

"I'm going to _need_ to join you." Something had to get that disbelieving and terrified yet painfully hopeful expression of Tony's out of her head. "Bruce?"

"Tea and my lab for me. But you two have fun."

She was trying to remember the last time she had any kind of fun that wasn't trying to erase over something she couldn't forget. The sad thing was that she couldn't. Perhaps too many skeletons in her closet still.

**xXx**

Tony was about ready to crawl out of his own skin by the time the three of them got to the workshop. He just needed to _escape_ , all while knowing he couldn't go anywhere right now without risking far too much. Much as he wanted to grab Loki's shirt and tell him _"get me out of here"_ without a care other than getting somewhere quiet, they couldn't leave under such suspicious circumstances, and they definitely couldn't vanish off in front of _Rhodey_ ; they might as well paint a big arrow over Loki's head and call a blood hunt on Tony and Loki both.

Thankfully, Rhodey didn't say anything else to Tony while getting him to sit down on a stool by one of his worktables. Rhodey stepped back with a bit of a sigh and stood there for a second before, "Take care of him, okay?"

Tony glanced up only to find Rhodey looking at Loki - _well, looking at Loki as James_ , his mind bitterly supplied - and Loki holding Rhodey's eyes as he gave a short nod. "I will."

Rhodey turned back to Tony again and poked a finger at his chest. "And you take care of yourself too. Not that I think you're going to listen to me."

"I redefine 'care' to whole new levels."

"I guess I'll have to rely on him for that." Rhodey nodded at Loki and then shook his head. "You two know where I am."

As soon as Rhodey was out of sight, Tony stood and slammed himself into Loki's chest hard enough to knock an "oof" out of him. Wrapping arms around his lover's waist, Tony exhaled a heavy breath into the section of chest he had his face against and made fists in the back of Loki's shirt. By comparison, Loki was slow in putting his arms up high around Tony's shoulders and one hand on the back of his neck.

"Why did Steve have to go and say that?" Tony ground his forehead against Loki to the point that it had to be hurting him too. "Why did he have to go and say _that_?"

"Because men like him usually have the best intentions and the worst timing."

"I knew before that he would hate me when he found out." He confessed, feeling the weight in his chest heavier than ever. "Now I think it's going to be worse than I thought."

"Perhaps in the beginning we thought too much of the risks regarding the Avengers," Loki hesitated a moment, and Tony could feel it in the breath Loki took to attempt to strengthen himself for the next words, "and we didn't think of the risks regarding us being so close in such private quarters."

"You mean risks like developing feelings for each other?"

"Like those, yes."

"Yeah, didn't really expect those myself either."

Tension Tony hadn't even realized was in Loki's body eased out as he brushed his fingers through Tony's hair. "Nor did I."

Squeezing his eyes shut, Tony burrowed his head into Loki's chest further, his own form filled and bubbling with guilt and fear and unable to dispel an ounce of it. Trying to calm his own thoughts, to think of something else, to forget, _anything_ , and nothing was slowing his brain down.

 _I need a distraction,_ he told himself through the din in his head. _I need- I need..._

He kissed Loki’s collarbone almost absent-mindedly, and finally it clicked over.

_I need **him**. I need **this.**_

He tilted his head up to kiss Loki's throat harder, then again farther up, and another to the edge of his jaw as he pressed himself up against the body he needed to be allowed to indulge in. To remind himself that he was betraying his friend's trust for a reason. That there was a reason he was staying with Loki. That there was a reason he was holding on when anyone else would tell him to let go. Maybe it was a bit desperate, but he needed something _good_ to occupy his mind for just a few minutes.

Loki was quick to stop it though and take Tony's face into his hands, staring down at him critically and reading what Tony was asking for. Loki's brow furrowed as he tilted his head, and Tony gave in:

"Please." He didn't have to ask. He just had to confirm.

Loki's face softened, and his fingers shifted to cup behind Tony's jaw instead, leaning down to catch him in a gentle kiss that was his own request: _softly, like this._ And Tony could compromise to that without a problem.

Walking backwards until he bumped into the table behind him, Loki encouraged Tony closer and closer with delicate touches to Tony's hips and their lips never more than an inch or two apart. Tony could feel his fingers curling too hard into Loki's shirt with fists so tight that it was almost numbing. He just couldn't seem to make himself let go. He would push up against Loki and pull at him with hunger, and Loki would respond with tenderness, always so goddamn gentle. Tony tried to rub himself against Loki's hip, trying damned hard to get something going, but finally, he couldn't do it anymore.

Letting out a growl of frustration, Tony thumped his forehead hard against Loki's collarbone again. "Goddamn spangled bastard doesn't even know he made it worse. Ruined it."

"It's not ruined."

"Now. It's going to be so much worse, Loki. And Thor-"

"The spell worked. I prevented him from focusing too hard and seeing things we don't want him to see."

"But he's still going to want to say something. It's _Thor_. He's going to try and talk to me alone."

"We'll deal with that when we get to it."

Focusing on exhaling out the negativity did absolutely jackshit, but holding onto Loki was at least a comforting support. So Tony couldn't get it up long enough for desperate hand jobs in the workroom, but who was he kidding? What was sexy about this? They both were stressed and Tony was scared, and getting off wasn't going to help much. Tony needed the reason he was enduring the guilt of lying to his friend, and it wasn't about sex; it was about this - long arms curving around his back and pulling him into an embrace so tight he could feel Loki's breath making his chest rise and fall. He could hear Loki's heartbeat in his ear and feel his exhales shifting the hair on Tony's head. This was the reason sex couldn't compare to. Maybe that more than anything was what he needed to remember.

He didn't know how long they stood there, but Loki remained steady on his feet while Tony leaned into him. When he finally felt himself relaxed enough, he shifted to curl his hands up over Loki's shoulders, his fists having long since released their death grip of Loki's shirt.

"Do you think you can work now?" Loki questioned barely above a whisper, but his mouth was so close to Tony's ears that he heard it perfectly. Heard Loki's chest practically rattle with the reverberations of his voice.

Tony nodded against Loki's chest but didn't let him go just yet. "Yeah."

"There are still many concepts to cover, and we've yet to begin constructing your field generator."

" _Our_ field generator." He corrected. This was _their_ project: Tony's idea and Loki's help, but it was never a solo project.

"I am but your tutor in the few sciences you don't know. Yet." 

"Not for long." 

"Magic takes years to learn. It will take time and much practice." It almost sounded like discouragement, but then Tony remembered that it was _Loki_ , and how excited Loki was to teach and be understood for even the basics he walked through with Tony. 

Moving his arms back down to cross at Loki's lower back, Tony selected his next words carefully. "You planning on heading out on me soon?" 

"Hardly." Loki answered easily and placed a small kiss to Tony's temple. "Not when we're just getting started. Now come," he started to untangle himself from the hug but drew his hands down Tony's arms until he could take Tony's hands. "I intend to go to bed tonight with a skeleton prototype already done, and that won't happen if we keep standing around. It needs your utmost focus to accomplish the task. Are you up to it?" 

Tony saw it for what it was - the distraction Tony tried to get by getting off, but Loki was providing it another way. He was giving Tony a goal to work towards that would thoroughly occupy his brain as much as his hands, and... yes. That was exactly what he needed. "Hell yes. Jarvis, put up the sketches." 

The dozens of sketches they had gone over the day before flooded the screens, and Loki plucked out the first one he wanted. "Let's start here." 

They didn't get to bed until the almost daylight hours of the next morning, but they got the circuits mapped and put together. Even with it just being the guts of the generator so far, it was fucking beautiful. And it was _theirs._ When Tony settled into bed and Loki kissed his cheek good night, he felt remarkably more determined and set in his decision. Loki _was_ the reason, and no matter how Tony tried to weigh his friends' opinions against that, he couldn't give up Loki to spare them. He couldn't break his own heart in the process of proving himself "good." When the shit hit the fan, Tony would just have to bear the brunt of it and hope that they would see past their anger long enough to understand. 

He really hoped someone would understand. Given the choice to choose a side... He could only hope it wouldn't come to that. 


	13. This Isn't Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weight of a lie grows heavier with every thought, but what is there to do when what's on the opposite end of the scale is of far greater worth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a short, intimate, non-sexual massage scene at the end of this chapter (you'll see it coming easily) that's a few detailed paragraphs long intermixed with spurts of dialogue and followed by a cut scene. I made the ultimate decision to leave in the massage because of the intimacy and made sure to edit out things that could count as a little more sexual. However, if it is still too much, skipping to the next scene break (skim or ctrl+F/page search for my usual xXx scene break marker) won't harm anything and you won't be missing on any plot-necessary things~ 
> 
> Luckily, the next couple of chapters are lining up to be completely smut-free and containing nothing but feels and plot. :P

It was easier to get used to sharing a bed than Tony often liked to admit, but the consolation was waking up beside a certain someone. When the certain someone wasn't there, and Tony woke up to a cold spot where there should have been a warm body, naturally, Tony was a little testier at the turn of events.

"J'vis? Wha?" Was about what he managed before he rolled onto his back and started to shift towards the edge of the bed.

_"Mr. Liesmith is in the next room, sir."_

The bigger question was _why_ , but Jarvis likely didn't have that answer. Meaning Tony would just have to pull himself out of bed and go stumbling around looking for it himself. Ugh. Loki better have a damn good reason.

_"You should know that Mr. Odinson requested to be informed when you were awake and available to talk."_

"I'm sleeping in." He said automatically while climbing to his feet and searching for pants. "Won't possibly wake up until this afternoon at the earliest."

_"Very good, sir, I shall relay that to him next time he asks."_

"That's why you're the greatest, J."

He'd barely woken up much more by the time he got to walking out into the living area, only to find Loki just standing in front of the plate glass windows as he looked out on the cityscape mired by rain and fog. Once Tony got closer, he saw the mug in Loki's hands as he took a sip, and Tony made sure to avoid bumping it as he wrapped his arms around Loki’s waist and kissed his bare shoulder.

Loki only made a contented noise around his drink and held Tony's arms fast around him.

"Okay, babe?" Tony questioned just to be sure, but Loki's body was yielding and free of tension, so Tony wasn't expecting bad things. Still. If there was nothing wrong, then why the hell did he leave the comfy bedroom?

"Restless is all." Loki assured before nodding out towards the city. "Been a while since I've enjoyed the view. It is impressive."

"I don’t settle for second rate. Only the best for me." Tony pointedly rubbed his cheek against Loki's shoulder, and the happy, almost incredulous huff of laughter from Loki was lovely.

Turning to peck a kiss to the top of Tony's head, Loki evaded again with another distraction. "There's coffee on the counter. Jarvis told me how you took it."

Tony begrudgingly parted to fetch his mug and shockingly found it still steaming when he got it. "How long have you been up anyway?"

"A short while." Well, he was big on details this morning, wasn't he? "I made an enhancement to your mug while waiting for you as well. It stays hot now."

"Perpetually hot coffee mug?" A taste test proved it was just right even after the "short while" of a sitting period. "God, you're perfect."

Loki gave him a look that said "yes, I know that and what else?" but there was unmistakable flattery too. And Tony did love to flatter.

Wrapping his hands around his perfect temperature cup (magic!), Tony sidled over and moved into Loki’s space, back to Loki's chest and directing an arm around Tony’s waist. Loki adjusted without hesitation to move the other to do the same and pull Tony against him snugly.

"So Thor is probably going to be checking in on us today."

"I imagine so."

"Questions? Concerns?"

"Concerns of Thor? Ha!" Loki shook his head, clear lack of worry in his voice. "Not against our combined forces, no. Not in a hundred years. Luck might get him to a certain point, but not much farther. I have no doubts of our strength, lovely boy."

"Why restless then?"

"For reasons not at all regarding _him._ "

"Loki..."

He sighed and put his cheek to Tony's temple. "Are you alright with this? Lying to them?"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"That's not a real answer."

Tony grimaced and laid the crown of his head back against Loki's chest. "I don't like lying to them about this, no. But I don't see what other choice there is. And yeah, we can't keep the secret forever, and even Rhodey is probably going to knock my lights out when he finds out, but the reactions are going to be the same now as they will if we wait later. I tell them the truth, they're going to be pissed, and they'll give me a choice. Them or us. I don't want to choose."

"Because only one choice is logical." Loki said like it was so obvious, like Tony already surely knew his own answer and was just putting it off. That was _not_ okay.

Tony turned, and Loki moved his arms to allow it; he looked to have carefully wiped the emotion from his face, but the problem with trying to hide it was that it was all the more obvious that there _was_ something to hide. "If there was a good choice versus a bad choice, I would have already picked."

Loki smiled without happiness and swept his free hand up to cup Tony's cheek. "You know there's still the better option between the two though."

"No, there's fucking not." He jabbed Loki hard in the chest with one finger, and Loki's face pulled together in confused frustration. "If I choose you, I lose my friends and probably my ability to stay around here. If I choose them, I lose you. I lose magic coffee cups and shared hours in the workshop and... and just..." His hand softened to lie flat on Loki's chest. "I lose this. Call me selfish, but I don't want to trade either of my 'options' for the other. I shouldn't have to just because of prejudices. I'm choosing _not_ to choose. So suck it up and deal because you're stuck with me."

Loki barked out a sharp and surprised laugh, but he was smiling for real now as he touched their foreheads together. "You're ridiculous."

"You love that about me."

"So much more than I should." Loki replied but smothered Tony's potential response - all ruthless teasing to hide what was a more than mild amount of trepidation at the almost confessing something serious - with a light kiss. "Let's not right now."

"You're not escaping that easily."

"Please, Tony."

"Fuck." Curling both hands protectively around his mug, Tony dropped his head against Loki's chest. "Swaying me with magic words, damn you." Not literally this time, but Loki saying please was magical enough in its rarity.

"You know I don't play nicely."

"And honestly, I like that about you until it turns against me." Pulling his head back enough to look up at Loki, Tony continued, "but I don't play nicely either. Something else was keeping you up."

The small smile that played at the edge of Loki's mouth quickly reversed. "Must you press?"

"Yes. I know you're not worried about Thor," and Loki gave him a look for that, "but he did bother you."

Loki sneered but not at Tony. "He said and implied nothing that I have not heard thousands of times over a thousand years."

"Yeah, because hearing it again definitely doesn't have any effect."

"Tony-"

"Just say it: he's a shit, and he treats you as James and you as his brother like you're both nothing."

"He's doubting you simply because of my association, and it disgusts but does not surprise me."

Tony took a mental step back. "Wait. You're upset because of how he treated me?"

"I'm used to the treatment. Every time there was a hint or confirmation that I was anything less than a straight arrow, he ignored it until he could later express his disappointment and disapproval. And words were the least of what he used to tell me this."

"Are you kidding?" He felt the anger and his own disgust bubbling up in his chest. "He didn't fucking beat you up for-"

"A long time ago, yes. Mother stopped that as soon as she found out. It earned even more of Thor's ire, but I hardly cared. It disappoints me now to see him _still_ judging such things the same way, even if he no longer uses his fists to express it. So much for a changed and grown up man."

"He wants to come up and talk. Debating on whether I'll even allow it."

"It would give us more opportunity to casually insult him back without your other friends discouraging you."

Against his will, Tony felt a grin coming on, and he pressed up to kiss the corner of Loki’s mouth. "You know just the right things to say."

Loki kissed Tony’s smile with his own, and nodded back down to Tony's mug between them. "You'll still need your coffee for that." Loki unwrapped one arm from around Tony in order to bring his own mug between them and take a sip of what Tony was guessing was some kind of tea. It smelled sweet and fresh, and honestly, Tony was kind of hating how good it smelled next to his bitter as shit but delicious coffee.

With a deep inhale, Loki looked back out to the skyline and let his breath out in a calming sigh. "Let's finish our drinks and call Thor after, shall we? See whether the storm passes or worsens."

Tony shifted in Loki's arm to face out towards the windows once more. "Can you tell if this is Thor's doing or not?"

"It's likely. I would rather just enjoy it as rain right now."

They finished their drinks in a quiet that wasn't quite comfortable but wasn't awkward either. There was too much on both of their minds to be completely at ease, and no amount of coffee or tea would silence their thoughts. But just to prolong before they had to have the talk with Thor, Tony and Loki made sure they took their sweet damn time making him wait. Even after their drinks, they ambled on back to the bedroom to change clothes in leisure.

Only once they had settled in completely on the sofa and couldn't procrastinate any longer did they let Jarvis inform Thor of their availability. Jarvis blessedly still took a few extra minutes to pass on the message, but all in all, it unfortunately wasn't more than forty-five minutes after they both got up and less than two minutes before Thor was on his way.

The thunder god was calmer when he stepped into the penthouse, but he still brought a stormy countenance with him. Neither Tony nor Loki bothered getting to their feet for him, and it might not have been a stellar way to start, but Thor was likely looking for an argument anyway, so Tony couldn't see the point in tip-toeing.

"Morning, Thor."

"My friend." Thor nodded stiffly and glanced between Tony and Loki. "I wonder if I might speak with you privately a moment."

"Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of-"

"It's about my brother." Thor said. "Please, Tony. Privately."

"I'll just step into the kitchen for a moment." Loki excused himself and slipped out from the lounging position he had on the couch. "Call if you need me, alright?"

Maybe the kiss Loki placed to Tony's forehead was to discomfort Thor; maybe it was truly meant to be a comfort to Tony, but it worked both ways, and Tony soaked up both Thor's mild grimace and the warmth that filled Tony's chest at the gesture.

As Loki busied himself making enough noise to cover the lowered voices, Tony prompted Thor to get on with it. "Alright, privacy as requested. What am I supposed to help you with about Loki? I haven't been in a fight with him since way before I was even in the hospital."

Thor came around the side of the sofa and took a seat at the far end to leave Tony plenty of room. "And how long since you've seen him?"

"I told you: we haven't fought since-"

"And beyond public fights?" Thor pressed.

Tony took a big breath in and let it out in a long sigh. "What are you implying?"

"That on more than one occasion, I have smelled the oils of your forge on my brother and the scent of my brother's magic on you. I know you have associated closely with him beyond fighting, and I want to know why."

So Loki was right about that: Thor knew too much, but he didn't know how it fit together. At least that could still be twisted to their advantage.

"Look, whatever you're thinking-"

"I think you're sleeping with my brother and yet saying another man has your affections."

Ah. Well, that was actually accurate, but not in the way Thor thought it was. "Who are you indignant for here? Loki, James, or me?"

"I want the truth."

"Well the truth sucks, buddy, so you might want to rethink what you want to know or not."

"Are you involved with my brother?"

"I'm dating _him_." Tony jerked a thumb towards Loki in the kitchen. "Loki is... complicated."

"Then explain it simply."

He wanted simple? Tony would give him _simple._ "He saved my life that time and now he pops by to chat occasionally."

Thor's brow pulled together. "Explain it so that I might understand." He tilted his head to the side. "When did he save your life?"

Time for story time, version 2.0 for Thor's ears only. "Well, when my tower was downed, I didn't exactly have any security measures to keep him out, so he got _me_ out. Pretty lucky break there. I owe him."

The lightbulb was practically visible clicking on over Thor's head. "That night? My brother was here _that_ night? And you didn't say anything?"

"And how was I supposed to broach _that_ topic, Thor? I would have gone through a million psychological evaluations and been subjected to zero privacy for six months at best if I confessed Loki was there. I'm not daring to think anyone else will understand that he saved my life without bargaining some great atrocity that compromised me. Which he didn't, by the way."

"Then why are you telling me so freely now?" Asked like Thor knew he wasn't the most trusted of the bunch. Which wasn't incorrect, really, but it kind of took Tony aback a bit. Then again, it was _Thor_ , and their conservative v. liberal views of life and morals always clashed, so maybe it wasn't so out of the realm of belief that Thor was well aware they weren't really each other's closest confidantes.

There was exactly one reason and one reason alone that Tony was telling even half-truths to Thor:

"Oh, I'm sorry, we're you going to just give up asking me about your brother any time soon? No? I didn't think so."

"If you owe him such a boon, and he has not asked for its match yet... I worry for what he will request or what he desires from you more than favors." Yep. There was the reason they didn't get along. Fucker.

"You save me in fights without expecting boons." Tony defended a bit too testily, and he had to reel himself back in a little before he exposed too much. "You don't save me because you have the hots for me. Why keep expecting Loki to be different? Maybe he's just being decent. Maybe my existence just entertains him. Maybe he just likes to fucking talk."

"I would simply be cautious around him." Thor tried once more, leaning in and affecting a fraternal look of concern that rankled Tony further. "And be wary of letting him know of your lover's association."

"He already knows." Loki piped in from behind Thor, and the thunder god pivoted to face Loki in confusion. "We've met."

"And Loki handled it well?" Make that _very confused_.

"What was so difficult to handle?" Tony questioned as Thor glanced to him with a frown before visually following Loki as Loki walked over and perched himself on the arm by Tony's side of the sofa.

"It was rather inevitable to be honest, what with Loki's tendency to appear unannounced." Loki gave a bit of a shrug before a smirk curled his mouth, and Tony cringed in anticipation as much as he stared to see what next would pop up. "Ironic that Loki knew of my existence and our relationship before any of the Avengers did."

"He knows you are involved?"

"He's not walked in on _compromising positions_ , so to speak, but I'm fairly certain he's well aware of what Tony and I are to each other, wouldn't you say, Tony?"

Thor's head whipped back to Tony like he could hardly believe they were talking about Loki in a way that wasn't negative. Like he couldn't believe that was a possibility. That just didn't compete well with Tony's protective streak.

"I hate to break it to you, buddy, but Loki has made and kept contact for a while. And I like it. _So I'm keeping it_."

Thor's jaw clenched as he leaned in conspiratorially, his forehead creased with wrinkles. "You need to be careful, Tony."

"If you tell me one more time that your brother-"

"Not about Loki." He interrupted, and Tony stuttered to a puzzled stop. Thor took a quiet breath and shifted closer on the sofa. "There have been discussions of you among the others."

"Yeah, Bruce told me about SHIELD. I'm not all that surprised-"

"SHIELD hasn't been the only ones speaking of you, _about_ you... and without you."

Tony felt a cold chill run down his spine before he even asked the question. "Who else?"

"All of the Avengers. SHIELD has been the one to start them, but there have been occasions when they... started on their own."

"And what exactly are they talking about?"

"SHIELD questioned how well you worked with and were useful to the team. They questioned how honest you were beyond the boundaries of what you did outside the Avengers. Our friends denied this at first, of course, but the past few months have been difficult. SHIELD has continued to press, and question your character and if the Avengers suspected you have secrets."

"Well don't we fucking all?"

"But SHIELD does not wish to be in the dark regarding them. I do not trust them. I trust my team, Tony. I trust my friends and those I have fought and bonded with. I do not trust SHIELD."

"Join the club, Brother Bear."

Thor's mouth pulled in like he sucked on something sour. "Jarvis relayed to me the story of your courtship. He showed me the clip of what you told the others yesterday."

"Yeah, and?"

"And it seems an apology is owed."

Already, Tony was preparing himself for assholery, but Thor spoke first:

"I am sorry for my brusk manner towards you yesterday, son of Lar."

Honestly, it was so shocking a turn of events that Tony forgot to even check how Loki reacted, but he could practically feel the hand on his back slip in limp surprise. Still Thor continued:

"I was puzzled by your claim to Tony's hand when I had assumptions that my brother already held it. Though that was no reason to treat you so dismissively. If you are enough to keep Tony's attention and affections for so long, then I imagine you to be a truly unique being indeed."

"I-" Loki started haltingly before trying again. "Thank you. That's very kind."

Thor stood, his mouth turned in a mildly bittersweet smile. "I think perhaps it's not so much of a question why my brother continues to return in quiet here when the company that can await him is the two of you."

"Dear god, I don't even know if that was a compliment or an insult." Tony said what he was pretty sure he and Loki both were thinking.

"He went from questioning Loki, to complimenting us, to saying Loki would like it here. Everything conflicts with each other." Loki confirmed, but Thor laughed under his breath.

"Loki does not suffer ill company if he can choose it. Perhaps it is why he avoids mine. If you say he won't harm you, nothing I can say will change your mind, my friend. I believe your story of Loki's interest and persistence, even if I cannot be assured of his intentions. I just thought you should be told of the intents of those I do know, and how they affect you."

"I did need that extra level of paranoia, thanks."

"We've not always been close, Tony. But I hope you don't doubt that I still consider you my friend and still worry for your safety. These are not simple times."

Tony felt Loki's hand rest on his shoulder, and Tony was quick to move his own hand to cover it. "I don't remember when they ever were simple."

"What ever my brother reveals himself to be, please, I hope you will trust me enough to help if you need it."

Fuck.

Tony pulled on a smile that fooled even the most critical press reporters, and told Thor: "You got it. First person on my list."

**xXx**

Thor had left not long after, but his influence dulled and lingered longer. Once alone, the couple ended up spending another twenty minutes stretched across the couch with Tony's head on Loki's chest and Loki's fingers gently carding through Tony's hair in soothing repetitions. Tony groused that surely Loki was in need of as much - if not more - comfort as Tony was, but Loki assured him that the fact _Loki_ was a comfort to Tony did much more. Not that such a sentiment didn't launch another fifteen minute bitch session from Tony about who the fuck in Loki's life would lead Loki to believe he _wasn't_ a goddamn delight, and filled with righteous anger about it though Tony was, the second half mostly continued because he could feel Loki's patience and happiness just listening to Tony being so protective. It made Tony all the more likely not to trust Thor in matters of the heart, and considering Loki mattered to Tony's heart, it translated to not trusting Thor with Loki. At all.

Eventually, Loki convinced Tony back to his feet, kissed the complaints from Tony’s lips, and led him back down to the workshop where he was plied and distracted with work for several more hours, followed by coming back up to the penthouse to have a late, _late_ supper of the Greek takeout Jarvis ordered for them. After another lazy hour and a half of chatting between discussing how to present the existence of the magic field generator to the Avengers, they had another workable story. Though really, the excuse that Tony was messing around with basic magic and meshing it with advanced science was pretty damn believable. Even Loki agreed it sounded reckless and outlandish enough to be in character, and anyone else, Tony would have been pissed at them for voicing it, but... yeah, actually, if Loki hadn't been a willing teacher, Tony would have come up with something like this on his own eventually one way or another. Loki simply expedited it.

It was almost midnight when their debate wound down, and though neither of them said they were tired, it was obvious in their body language. Tony was fidgeting, and Loki was rubbing the back of his neck every minute or two, but neither were going to call it a night yet. Exhaustion weighed them down, but sleep was not going to come easily or soon. Loki looked run down and ready to roll over, but pride would never allow him to admit it.

Then Tony got an idea for how to help without Loki having to say anything but his consent.

Reaching over, Tony grabbed Loki's hand and encouraged him to stand. "C'mon, let's change course."

"Back to the shop?"

"Nope. Got something else in mind."

Loki let himself be pulled along slightly reticently as Tony cleaned up the takeout boxes and put the leftovers away. "And that something else is?"

Pivoting on his heel, Tony walked backwards towards the bedroom while still holding Loki's hand. "I have a plan I think you'll like, even if it's not what you might initially assume." Loki's attention focused on Tony at the implications, but he didn't ask anything yet. "See, in all my own mental drama, I've been neglecting you. And it's high time I fix that and take care of _you_ for a change.

His head tilted towards his shoulder in curiosity. "And how will you do that?"

"You've been the antagonist for ages. How long since you've been a prince?"

The god's eyes narrowed slightly. "Define what princely things you're thinking of."

"How long since you've been _really_ pampered and cared for as special? Treated like a prince? With all the royal amenties and..." Tony quirked an eyebrow, " _perks_ of willing hands and bodies at your service?"

Oh, Loki caught on then. In an instant, his face slackened and his eyes darkened before all the shock coalesced in the next moment back into prurient interest. He moved a bit faster with Tony then. "How long since I've been looked after by handsome boys with talented hands and a wicked tongue? Oh, ages, my dear. Far too long."

"It's time to fix that, I think."

Tony steered Loki into the room and ushered him towards the bed. "Wait here. And get comfortable." Tony nodded pointedly to Loki's clothes, and Loki's brow furrowed in puzzlement and suspicion, nevertheless allowing Tony to go into the bathroom alone for supplies.

As he started pulling up drawers and cabinets, he lowered his voice for his own loyal servant's aural sensors, "Jarvis?" Tony tucked a bottle of oil in his back pocket, a few lightly scented jar candles on the counter, and tossed one of his favorite silk-bamboo hand towels over his shoulder before he started to hunt down a lighter. "Give us some mood setting out there. The works."

The lights in the bedroom dimmed a good deal, soft without being too dark to see and move around comfortably, and gentle music started up through the speakers. Maybe Tony was hitting the details a bit more than usual, but tonight was different. Loki had been the epitome of patient with Tony's friends, undoubtedly holding back a lot more than the daring amount he did snap out in defense, but Loki was under a lot of stress too - just as much as Tony was, if not more since Loki apparently thought he was going to get the short end of the stick when the Avengers discovered their ruse. Yet, Loki had been an active partner in keeping Tony calm and distracted, and Tony had... fallen down on his side. Loki was just that good at helping Tony, and Tony was damn well going to make the effort to help Loki. Whatever he could, Tony would do to show Loki what their time meant together and what Loki meant to Tony. And he didn't need to say any damn clichéd and overused set of words to express it. He didn't need to say such things, and he didn't want to. Actions spoke louder, and this act was going to be a big old shout.

When Tony came back out with supplies in hand, Loki had stripped down to his pants and was sitting at the foot of the bed, staring at the ceiling in puzzlement. At seeing the pile in Tony's arm, bemusement broke for exasperated fondness, and Loki came over to help Tony with the load before he dropped everything.

"Lights, candles, music... I didn't know you to be such a romantic."

Tony set up a few candles on one bedside table and lit them. "I thought you'd like scene setting, Loks."

"I'm not still not sure what scene the setting is for."

"Have a hint." Tony plucked the bottle from his back pocket and tossed it to Loki, who caught and turned it over to read the label as Tony stepped behind Loki and trailed one hand down his lover's back on his way to spread out the rest of the candles on the dresser and the opposite bedside table.

"This is massage oil." Loki said so softly it was barely an audible noise, and Tony had to peek up from his task to check Loki's face for disapproval. There was nothing of the sort.

"Yes. Any questions?"

Loki glanced over at Tony, but his face was perfectly understandable to read even before he spoke. "None at all. I shall leave it in your surely capable hands." And put the bottle on the table quickly.

Grinning, Tony lit the last of the candles and started to undress himself. "Then take your pants off already, _my prince,_ and lie on your stomach."

The look Loki sent over his shoulder said that that moniker definitely needed to make a return, and Tony would be all too happy to make it happen. For now, Loki grinned a slight turn of his mouth and stripped off the last of his clothes as he crawled into bed and settled face down in the middle of the mattress. He shifted imperceptibly into the bedding, almost hidden when Tony climbed into bed, but Tony was watching too closely to miss. So just to test the waters, he flung one leg to the other side of Loki's thighs and settled sitting bare across Loki's hips. Loki only chuckled and brushed his finger tips along Tony's knee.

"You're not going to try and tempt me into cutting my plans short, are you?" Tony asked, running his thumbs along the prominent vertebrae between Loki's shoulder blades.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Loki hummed dozily.

"Good." Leaning up to retrieve the towel and the bottle of oil, Tony draped the blanket over Loki's bum, sat straddling over top, and leaned in to speak against Loki's ear. "Don't forget to breathe."

"I'll be sure to let you know if you take my breath away." Loki returned, and Tony chuckled a bit as he popped open the oil. "What comes after?"

Tony poured a liberal amount of gently fragranced oil into the well of one palm, and rubbed both hands together to warm the fluid, letting the body under him settle and calm again. "What do you want to come after?"

"Mm. You're the one with the good ideas tonight."

"Then I guess you'll see after."

Loki huffed but allowed it as he exhaled a long breath and let Tony focus. Starting at the nape Loki's neck, Tony worked in long strokes with firm pressure, tense ropes of stressed muscle yielding to Tony's relentless fingers until Loki was groaning in relief as much as pleasure. Every few minutes, Tony would let up to put more oil in his hands and then return after he'd warmed them. The curve of Loki's neck and shoulders were given close attention, Tony's fingers playing hard and soft along every tender spot. Loki's fingers twitched where they laid stretched out, palms up beside Tony's legs, clenching into fists whenever Tony found a place to treat delicately, and falling open as the spot ebbed away. Every inch was hard fought and won, Loki's body difficult to unwind, but willing under Tony's determined attentions.

As each knot released, Tony moved a little further down, his hands at either side of Loki's spine using gentle pressure millimeters away from the bone, all the way down to Loki's sacrum before returning both hands to start work across one side of the wide expanses over Loki's ribs. It seemed to take ages to even get so far as the middle of his back, but it was rewarding in result as much as the act itself was soothing to Tony to give just it was for Loki to receive.

Loki had always been all muscle, and Tony had always admired Loki's gorgeously lean and firm form, but it was a whole 'nother perspective now. It got Tony questioning just how long Loki had been constantly tense and unable to release all of it. Tony had seen Loki letting go of emotional tension after sex when he had nothing on his mind but faint after effects of exertion, but it seemed the physical tension had never completely dissipated. Though, wasn't that what Tony was trying to fix now? And what Loki obviously needed and was enjoying, Tony was going to put his maximum effort into doing. By god, if it took hours to massage it all away, then Tony was going to get Loki limp and happy and content. After all the comforting Loki had been giving Tony, this was the very least Tony could give back, and it was only going to be the start.

He eased up as he reached Loki's lower back again and turned his attentions more delicate and smooth. Tony had to shift his hips against Loki's to reach across the area between Tony's own legs, and Loki made a different kind of sound then as his finger tips sought out and grazed the outside of what he could reach of Tony's legs. Changing course, Tony sat up, supported on just his knees as he pulled the towel out from under him and restarted at Loki's sacrum before sliding his way down to the swell of Loki's bottom, bare skin on bare skin again. Loki chuckled a rumbling purr of a pleased noise and allowed the more intimate but brief massage as Tony rubbed him across and down to the backs of Loki's thighs and in to sensitive adductor muscles.

Loki started to shift for an entirely different reason now, but Tony would work on fixing that in a moment if Loki wanted it. Tony planned for a whole body massage, and there was still half a body to finish here. Except that Tony only manged to reach Loki's knees before a rich, dozy voice called his name.

"Is it time for the after now?"

"Getting impatient?"

Loki's pleased hum was the easily read response. "Show me what other things you have planned for me, my lovely boy."

"Well, I suppose we could skip ahead to the part I think you'll really like." Tony flattened his palms to Loki's body and ran them all the way up to Loki's shoulders as Tony leaned over his lover again. "But you'll have to turn over for that." He shifted off to the side, allowing Loki to lazily roll away and onto his back. His hands fell to his sides by his shoulders, hair pooling around his head, and every inch of the happenstance pose a picture of bliss and trust. Every inch a vision laid out before Tony.

Loki automatically sought out Tony's hand and pulled him closer, drawing him up into a kiss that, admittedly, was not all that lewd but was very far from innocent. No tongue, no licentious noises, just lips, soft and adoring and gentle against Tony's, letting him melt into the kiss far too easily.

"What's my next gift?" Loki prompted as he drew back a hair's breadth.

"I'll show you." But Tony couldn't resist stealing one more sweetly intoxicating kiss before he did.

**xXx**

Loki kissed a gentle line along Tony's jaw and then skipped to his brow as his hands swept a fine brush of cleansing magic over their skin. "You do have such exquisite ideas."

"I aim to please." Tony planted a small kiss to Loki's collarbone as he resettled to stretch out beside Loki. "Think you can sleep now?"

A laugh shook through Loki. "Was all that about getting me to sleep?"

"We both needed it." To take it slow, to decompress, to focus on just one thing and block out all the rest... they both needed all of that and more, but this was the fraction that Tony could provide now.

Loki hummed. "Thank you."

"Any time, Loks."

" _Any_ time?"

"Don't abuse my trust to give you open-ended offers."

It didn't have to be loud for Tony to feel Loki's chuckle rumble through both of their bodies. It didn't have to be loud for Tony to come back to the conclusion that he was utterly fucked if he was this attached to the man's _laugh_. And not just his laugh. Loki was on the verge of drifting off - his eyes closed, his breathing steady and calm under where Tony's chin rested on Loki's chest, and Tony couldn't stop staring, his brain unable to shut down even through the exhaustion that weighed down the rest of his body. His mind wouldn't stop weighing choices, and yet, he kept returning to one surety, over and over.

"You think too loud." Loki stated as he peeked through one half-open eye. "What plagues you so even now?"

"Just thinking... that I'm not giving you up."

Loki blinked both eyes open, lips parted in barely veiled shock. "Oh." Tony didn't look away; not until surprise melted to relief and affection in Loki's gaze. Cautiously, Loki raised a hand to brush the backs of his fingers to Tony's cheek, like checking to see if it was real and only looking more incredulous by the confirmation. "I would hope so." He released a short breath. "And damn you for making me hope for anything of the sort."

"Feeling's mutual babe. Sleep first." Tony nuzzled into Loki’s throat, and as Loki lowered his hand, Tony caught it and clasped their fingers together to rest in the center of Loki's chest. "You can curse me later." It fell to silence for several more long moments, gentle fingers tracing a line up and down Tony's arm and almost lulling him to sleep.

Loki kissed Tony’s temple and lingered. "As you wish."

Tony didn't respond. He couldn't be sure what would tumble out if he had opened his mouth.


	14. Can You Fix The Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pressure is tightens like a vice, and Tony has had enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all that follow me on my tumblr remember that thing I was saying about being unable to resist a nice spot for a cliffhanger? Yep.

Sleep came eventually, but it could hardly be considered restful. He slept, but he also _dreamed_. And that was far worse.

Tony broke from slumber's iron grip with a startle that was thankfully smaller than it how it felt to tear free from his dreams. Dawn had only just started to color the perpetually bright city horizon a hazy yellow from behind buildings still light from within at all hours of night and day. Beside him, Loki still dozed, laid out on his back with his chest swelling up and back down in calm breaths, his face turned towards Tony but his expression smooth of tension. Knowing the stress Loki had been fighting as well, Tony didn't have the heart to wake his lover in such a well-deserved peaceful state. 

With the ease of a much practiced act, Tony slipped out of bed without disturbing Loki and made his way into the bathroom for a shower to wash away his visions. It wasn't likely to be successful, but Tony was damn well going to try.

He reached into the stall and turned on just one of the wall mounted shower heads, no need for anything fancy when all he wanted was solitude and the white noise of the water spray to help him process the pressure of the past several days and weeks. The water warmed up to barely above body temperature in just a few seconds, and Tony squeezed his eyes shut as he turned his face into the spray, running his fingers back through his hair to soak it thoroughly before dragging his hands down his face and telling himself every drop of water he washed off was from the shower. Tilting down to let the spray hit the nape of his neck and run down his back, Tony took several shaky breaths in and out, again running his hands back over his scalp and failing to stop the dream from playing on repeat.

 _"You know him! You know_ me _! You don't have to do this!"_

And how little it all mattered.

At every turn, every time he attempted rest and distraction, he was haunted by the idea of his friends discovering the ruse, of how they would find out, of their outrage and feelings of betrayal and distrust over Tony's dishonesty. Tony dreamed of pleading them to understand, reminding them that they liked and accepted James and how Loki wasn't any different. Tony begged them to see, remember, _think_ , but they overpowered him faster than he could change their minds. They put him in cuffs and called him a traitor, tried to get him to lure Loki into a trap, and even as Tony refused, they pressed and pressed and pressed-

The stinging pain that shot through his arm as he punched the shower wall did nothing to help.

It wasn't going to matter how he told them. It didn't matter how many lies or truths he'd told about James already; the others wouldn't understand, and they wouldn't accept it.

Why was it so easy to see his dream becoming a reality?

_"Mr. Liesmith is asking after you, sir."_

Shaking his hand out, Tony shut off the water and stepped out of the enclosure. "Tell him where I am." He was just pulling a towel over his head and drying off his hair when Loki pushed the bathroom door open.

"There you are. Is everything alright?" He still walked with that half-asleep shuffle that Tony found charming despite his own his less than excitable mood.

"Fine." He scrubbed his head with the towel. "Just a nightmare."

Loki paused a moment before grimacing and stepping closer hesitantly. "You're not okay with this." He didn't need to say what "this" was.

Except, for the first time in a week, Tony actually felt his resolve strengthening. He knew what - knew _who_ he wanted. And for starters, he knew he definitely wanted to wipe the worry from Loki's face first. 

So Tony dropped the towel around his shoulders, met Loki at the doorway, and took his hand to hold between them. "I'm happy with _this_." He squeezed Loki's hand. "Which is why I'm not happy with them being... who they're being." He released Loki and pulled the towel down to dry the rest of his body off, managing to feel somewhat lighter in the wake of his determination even when he still felt wrung out and tired. "What they do or don't approve of is their problem. And I'm sick of letting someone else keep me from what I want."

"Hm." Loki grinned, easily pleased in the early morning as he stepped up behind where Tony was facing the mirror. "Now you sound more like yourself."

He met Loki's gaze in the mirror and let the affection overpower the guilt in his stomach. "You know, today, I'm feeling more like it too. Hungry?"

"Starved."

"Grab me a pair of pants, and let's get something to eat. And afterwards," Tony turned around and laid his arms lazily over Loki's shoulders while Loki's hands found Tony's waist, "I think we have a field generator to complete."

**xXx**

"I'm just going to say it: we make beautiful children, Loki."

"Obviously, it takes after its fathers." Loki agreed, and Tony snorted.

"Cocky."

"We wouldn't be here if I wasn't." Loki grinned.

"Cockiness and dicks in general did play a major part." Tony rolled the palm-sized bauble around in his hand and held it at arm's length with one eye closed to see how it would look against a suit of armor across the room. Tony designed the generator to resemble the basic shape and design of the reactor and repulsors in order to blend in and look feasible as something Tony created alone, but the magic symbols Loki taught Tony were seamlessly etched into the surrounding casing by Loki himself, and the inner guts of it was a mutual accomplishment of discussion between the kind of power the spell would pull and what kind of wiring it would need to channel that.

It looked fantastic already, but Tony still had to accept that this really was just a prototype made from a theory of blending science and magic, and they likely still had a lot of testing and editing to do before he would take it to a fight. Not that it would be the first time Tony fought with untested weapons, but adverse situations called for adverse actions, and there would always be far too many of those.

They had work to do, but this was still _progress_ , and Tony would take it for that. Work with Loki wasn't a hardship by any means; it provided him hours of contemplation and company, and just these last few hours of work with Loki, of casual ease and the excitement of invention and creation, it helped firmly set Tony's decision. While his fear of the truth coming out was no less terrifying than yesterday, Tony would be damned it he wasn't going to savor every moment with Loki and not let the thought of his friends' opinions ruin a good thing. What Tony and Loki had _was_ a good thing, and Loki had it pegged accurately himself weeks ago: it was others that made this complicated, but what he and Loki had together was very simple. He liked Loki, Loki liked him. And they were _great_ together. They had the kind of great chemistry that Tony wasn't going to let go without a fight. 

The more he debated it, the more he realized it likely would take a fight, and yet his resolve didn't waver. He wasn't going to lose this.

"Shall we start the tests?" Loki held out a hand for the generator, and Tony passed it over.

"We shall. Let's see how well our baby performs."

**xXx**

It worked. Sort of. 

More accurately, it _would_ work, but it needed, frankly, a shit ton of man hours to improve it into working the way it was intended to work.

The generator was a great idea, and it would - eventually - be perfect in reality. Magic and science were similar in function, but dissimilar in the way they reacted with the world. Science generally operated within known laws of physics and nature, and magic did what it fucking wanted. Magic still had some limitations in regards to how it reacted with different materials of varying compositions and energy though, so figuring out where each one clashed with each other was a very delicate experimentation process. Very, _very_ delicate and very, _very_ unstable. 

Since they had to keep the generator small to not draw attention, it only produced a small field about half the height of Tony's torso. Which was to say, not very useful on a larger scale battlefield. Loki theorized that what the energy channeled through was what affected the size of the field, and since mages channeled through their own bodies, it was never an issue before. That presented the issue of the next logical conclusion: utilizing multiple small generators to provide coverage. And there was still alteration to be done to the base design to get it to work the way they wanted it to anyway. It also meant Tony would likely have to make an entirely new suit to accommodate this, instead of just affixing it to any suit like he'd hoped and planned to do. Additionally, it brought about the question of whether or not it would work in a battle against a magic user since the generator was both magic and mechanical and magic could cancel out mechanical but couldn't always cancel out other magics. And they couldn't test that until the generator actually worked in the first place. 

By lunch time, they were a hungry mess of frustration that hadn't yet broken their determination. Food helped some, as they mostly spitballed alternatives and possible changes that could be applied in between making like chipmunks with their food. The break was another several hours discovering and debating workarounds to the conflicts of magic and science and scrawling out more notes and ideas on Tony's tablet. They were just getting back to a calmer state of mind, the charge of possibility invigorating their return to work, when Jarvis relayed a message that sent Tony's anxiety skyrocketing upwards again.

_"I am sorry, Mr. Stark, but your presence has been requested by the Avengers."_

Bye-bye, inner peace. His fork made a jarring clang against the edge of the plate when Tony dropped his hand to the table. "What for?"

_"They claim wanting to 'talk business,' but I'm assuming that is not all that is on their minds."_

_Business._ How very specific. "Uh-huh. They say anything that would actually get me to come down there?"

_"They asked that I try to convince you."_

"They still have no idea how you work, do they?" He speared another few pieces of pasta salad on his fork and brought them to his mouth.

_"Not remotely, sir. To add to your ire, I should mention that, while they did not explicitly say it, the phrasing and their intonation would indicate that they wish for your solitary presence before them."_

He and Loki both paused and glanced at each other - Tony more a tight-jawed grimace while Loki looked annoyed but resigned. "You're right, that does add to my ire."

_"But they are unlikely to stop asking, sir. Procrastinating might allow them the time to find more to talk about."_

"Well. That is a way to convince me."

_"My apologies, sir, I had no intention of doing as they asked."_

"Perhaps it would be better." Loki said while he shifted the last uneaten corner of his toast to the edge of his plate, and Tony debated poking Loki with a fork to see if he still felt like Loki when he didn't sound like Loki.

"Care to clarify, honey?"

Loki's expression was carefully blank again, and he didn't look up. "It would seem I've not managed to endear us to them much, nor sway their suspicion. Obviously, my presence has not accomplished much good in their eyes, but perhaps they'll say more without me there than with me in the room. They do seem to be building up a number of things to say, and waiting will only make that number grow." 

"So you want me to go alone." 

Loki sighed and stilled his hands' unsuccessful attempts to occupy his own nerves. "I'll be happy to come and support you, but if being there is what's got us where we are, it would be foolish to repeat the same thing and expect a different result."

"So I walk into their trap? Like Natasha tried to do the other day. Getting cornered and told I was losing their trust was fun. You want me to go back into that alone." 

"No, I don't." Loki answered honestly as he glanced up straight into Tony's eyes. "I want to be there to dare them to go against either of us and tell them that their approval has never been necessary for our relationship, but..." His eyes skated away. "We both know that will do exactly what we're fighting to avoid. There's a chance you can convince them better alone than we can together." 

_"I'm afraid I must agree, sir. It's quite possible that they might share things with just you that they otherwise feel untrusting of saying with Mr. Liesmith in the room."_ A pause, then: _"Otherwise, you might need to question why you don’t wish to be alone with people you consider friends."_

"I don't like that question."

_"It is, unfortunately, still valid in spite of your dislike of it."_

He could be mending fences just to destroy them when the others found out about Loki, but would they be any madder if they were on good terms with Tony or not? Hard to tell. But if he was on better terms, maybe he could better convince them? Would prostrating himself before them be worth it? How willing was he to regain their favor to better beg forgiveness and understanding?

Tony shoved his plate forward. " _Fine._ I'll see what they have to say. No promises."

"I am but a handful of words away if you need me."

Pulling himself to his feet took a tremendous amount of effort, and moving away from Loki took even more. "I might or might not take you up on that, actually." Heaving a sigh, Tony squared up and marched into the elevator, preparing himself for another "business talk" that was sure to get too personal.

 _"Shall I offer to patch Mr. Liesmith into the surveillance, sir?"_ Jarvis questioned in the privacy of the elevator.

Tony opened his mouth to say yes, only to hesitate. "No. Not yet. Offer the playback later. Let's see what they have to say first."

The view was an odd mesh of foreboding and fittng - the group gathered calmly facing Tony's entrance and the dusky sky beyond the plate glass windows. He supposed he really shouldn't have been surprised that the whole team (minus Rhodey since he "wasn't technically an Avenger") was there waiting at the table; interventions usually were a group versus one person thing, and Tony should know, considering how many times he walked in on one. All these years later, people still hadn't figured out just how useless interventions were on Tony, and how they more often functioned in the opposite of their intention. If they wanted to shoot themselves in the foot though, Tony would gladly ask for their best shot.

"What's the business, team?" Tony tried to aim straight for the point and avoid tangents, but they were more likely to shift off topic than he was.

"Loki." Steve started. "We're worried about his... interest in you and what that could mean in a much bigger picture."

"Define 'interest.'"

"How about his refusal to be in a fight if you aren't there?" Clint jumped in. "That's concerning."

Tony took a leaning position against the back of the nearby sofa instead of sitting at the table, already setting himself apart. "Yeah, that sounds logical, not creepy. I don't miss a fight for no reason, and I definitely don't miss two in a row. Loki's perceptive; he's probably looking out for a trap."

"It's true." Thor stated, and Tony waited with bated breath to see how much Thor would say after their talk yesterday. "Loki has always been the one to survey a field and weigh his chances. What many once called cowardice in our youth, we quickly learned to be the wisdom of picking the right fight. Not that we chose to follow it. What we presume to be an obsession with Stark could very well be the same if any of us were to miss a fight, and instead could simply be Loki's obsession in knowing where all the players are on the board."

"See if Thor gets it, why can't you?" Tony silently made a little prayer to a certain thunder god, thanking him for the rare moment of discretion, before Tony rounded back on the rest of the team. "I'm always the one to read more into things than I should, and I'm still not worried about Loki. I'm more worried about the actual attempts on my life, but I'm not hearing talk about that."

"Because Loki is tangible." Bruce noted and didn’t assure Tony of their concern at his assassination attempts at all. "And petty thievery can't be his endgame. Loki might just behind those nearly successful attempts."

"It's not Loki's style." Tony swore he'd say this before, and he was pretty sure he'd said it to Bruce at the time too. "Loki wants to be seen winning. If he wanted me dead, he would do it to my face, in a big public setting, where he can look me in the eye and everyone else can watch and see that he won and there was nothing anyone could do about it. _That's_ Loki's style. He's a vengeful, proud, little shit, and he wouldn't let a great accomplishment like taking me out be anything but an event. He's had plenty of chances to kill any of us, and he's never done it. Maybe we're the only ones that keep him in that box every time we keep calling him a villain." 

" _We're_ responsible for Loki being crazy?" Bruce looked more worried that Tony was so confident Loki was innocent than he was worried about there being someone else. Like Bruce was so sure of Loki's involvement that another threat from a different source wasn't even thought of as possible. "Every time he shows up, he breaks part of the city."

"I'm sorry, and what do we do when we go out on the town?" Tony defended. "What did you say to me when I first invited you to New York?"

"We're fighting for the city, not against it. And back to topic, I still don't like the sound of his threat from the day before." Steve leaned back in his chair. "Loki upping his game is not a good thing, and when you're dismissing how dangerous he is-"

"How am I dismissing it? I didn't want you to face him without me there to help because Loki is a powerhouse. When we don't face him full force, that sends a message. A message that is an affront to his pride. Maybe if I had _been there_ , he wouldn't think he needed to be more threatening."

"Maybe we wanted to make sure you had recovered from the last fight." Steve snapped back. 

"That's another thing, Tony." Bruce cut in when Tony opened his mouth to argue. "We're at odds on Loki; I get that, but it's not all we invited you up here to talk about."

"Now what?"

"SHIELD wants you to get cleared by a doctor before getting back on the field."

"Excuse me? And since when does SHIELD have a say so over when I help protect the freaking world?"

"I happen to agree with SHIELD here." Natasha slid her elbows forward on the table. "We don't want you to get hurt worse by returning unprepared. The suit can only protect so much, as we were all reminded of recently."

"Yeah, I didn't forget." Tony crossed his arms stiffly, eyebrows knitted together as he glared his friends down. "But SHIELD can't make me do anything. I don't work for SHIELD or the government. I'm an independent consultant, remember? _Someone_ didn’t think I was team material in the first place. And despite every goddamn thing I do for the team, that hasn't changed."

"Fury can't make you stay back." Steve agreed, and then pinned Tony with a stare. "But we can."

His blood ran cold. "Are you pulling rank on me, Cap?"

"I'm trying to look out for you." Steve tried to soothe, but it did little for Tony’s annoyance. "Athletic boyfriend or not, someone who cares enough to be gentle with you is not the same as a enemy that neither knows of your injury or cares to treat you gingerly if they were aware. If you were ready for the field, we wouldn't be having this argument. You're not thinking straight. And I'm not just talking about Loki. He's not the only enemy force we fight."

"So I'm _not allowed_ to fight against terrorists because my healing is in question? Because my _sympathies_ are in question?" 

"Look, Tony, you've been on shaky ground with SHIELD lately, just play along with this for now. It's a formality."

"Look, _Rogers_ , I was poked and prodded enough in the hospital; I don't need a doctor to tell me I'm safe for getting into situations that could injure me again."

"You have enough to worry about SHIELD discovering, just go to the damn appointment."

"I have enough to worry about? What else have I done horribly wrong that will anger the spies?"

Steve tried to avoid answering, but the boy was shit at covering himself, and everyone else in the room was that suspicious level of quiet as they frowned or guiltily shifted in their seats to not say what everyone knew Steve wasn't saying.

Like a broken record, every fucking day. "You're talking about keeping my boyfriend secret again, aren't you?"

"I didn't say that."

"What else would it be? There's not much else that would get everyone's pants in a wad even when it's still _no one else’s goddamn business._ "

"We're a team, Tony. We're supposed to share everything."

"That's rich." Tony snorted and pushed himself forward. "If I thought it would help anything to share, I would. Yet what has it done? Looks like I was right."

"Don't twist our concern for your wellbeing into some validation of your paranoia." Natasha said, and Tony's steel spine snapped into place.

"When have I been given a reason _not_ to be paranoid? I finally have a slice of normal here with James, and you're acting like our relationship is proof I'm a fuck up."

"We're worried." Steve said again like that would change anything. "We have nothing against James, but this is a fragile time. You're this close to someone we know nothing about, and you won't say much more."

"Because he's a private person, and his stories and his life aren't mine to tell or force him to confess. Mine isn't the only privacy being invaded here."

"If you had just said something earlier, let us understand-"

"You're not entitled to know every intimate detail of my life. And I'm just that _paranoid_ to think that if something is this good, I'll be sure to lose it somehow. So yeah. I kept it secret. And if I could go back and hide it again, I would. And this is why."

The team was an oppressingly furious silent again, everyone waiting for who was going to bite back next. Steve stood first, and put his metaphorical foot down. "You're getting cleared with a doctor before you face anyone in the field again. It's for your own safety. I'm sure Jarvis can be convinced to agree with us."

"You wouldn't _dare_ put me under house arrest."

"All you have to do is go the hospital. You don’t have to fight this."

"Yeah, that's going to convince me. You wanna make me do anything, Steve? Try putting a hand to me." Tony pushed off the sofa and ignored the calls of his name. He didn't stop until he got back into the elevator, and he didn't look at them even in the last seconds before he shut himself off behind thick steel.

 _"Shall I offer the video playback upstairs?"_ Jarvis suggested behind closed doors. _"Mr. Liesmith has been anxious of how your meeting went."_

"I'll tell him myself. He'll probably tell me I should have just gone with it." Tony clenched his jaw. "It was stupid." And it wasn't going to help him endear Loki to the Avengers anymore than before. Seemed that having Tony go alone to talk to his friends made things worse than if Loki was there too. The only way it could have been worse was if Loki was actually there as himself. 

Maybe it was stupid to fight so hard for such a little thing, but the Avengers didn't know what Loki had done for Tony in the hospital last time. Didn’t know about the mysterious something Loki kept finding in Tony's veins that Loki couldn't identify but knew was poisonous. Telling the team about it would involve telling them he and Loki were in a relationship, and Tony couldn't even do that. And he didn't want to go back to another place that tried to kill him. There were enough of those lately, and Tony got pretty damn tired of testing his chances. He just wanted _simple._

Loki was on his feet as soon as he heard the elevator doors, and Tony almost wanted to laugh that, of all people, Loki was more eager to meet Tony and more worried for his mental well-being than "what was best." This was simple. And it was the prejudices of others that was making it complicated. 

"You wouldn't be back so soon if it went well." Loki surmised, and Tony bit back the rude quip that tried to spill out.

"You're not wrong there."

"I don't imagine you would like to share." And he said it so simply, like a mere confirmation that Tony likely didn't want to talk about it. Why was it so much easier for Loki to understand than for Tony's friends? 

Tony heaved a sigh and walked forward, straight into Loki's chest, dropping his head on Loki's shoulder with Tony's arms hanging by his sides. "I expect to get jerked around. Really, I do. Constantly. And then when I do, I get _pissed_." Loki stayed diligently silent as he gently rested his hands on Tony's shoulders, and Tony sighed again and brought his hands to curl into Loki's shirt over his stomach. "It was getting better, actually. We were almost a team for a while. Broke up and got back together god knows how many times, only sticking around when we had to, and then we were starting to _be_ something. Have something. And suddenly a little secret is what breaks us? Not the secret itself, but that I kept one at all? How am I supposed to trust them with everything when they can't even trust me with the parts of the truth I did give them?"

 _Can I trust anyone? Except_ Loki _, of all people?_

"I had thought your friends to be better spies than this. Then again, I thought them better friends as well."

"You and me both." Releasing his fists, Tony slipped his hands around Loki's back and stepped closer into the hold that Loki readily returned. Tony lost all his energy in that embrace, suddenly feeling so very ready to kick the whole group out of his building or else fuck off to Malibu and let them have the tower to themselves so long as Tony could regain his privacy. Sure, it would be suspicious, but it would also be worth it to escape.

Because running away from the problem always worked. Yeah. Not so much. Confronting this problem didn't hold much hope either though. He just wanted to wrap himself in Loki's arms, bury themselves in work and sex and progress, and not have to worry about public judgment for just a few days. Was it so much to want for? Maybe it was. Tony knew neither of them would get a few days off anyway; not even a few weeks in a hospital was a time of relaxation, and yet Tony couldn't tell another soul why.

The elevator chimed, and Tony's eyes flew open to see Rhodey standing paused halfway out the doors, looking at their position rather awkwardly. "Oh." He started to step back. "Sorry, I'll come back later."

"It's fine, Rhodes." Tony disentangled himself, and Loki's hands brushed fleetingly down Tony's arms and across his shoulders as Tony stepped away. "What's up, buddy?"

"I, uh." Rhodey looked between the two lovers, and then seemed to change course. "I need to talk to you, Tony. One on one, no confronting. James, do you mind?"

"Not at all." Loki cleared his throat a little and took a step away. "I'll just-"

"No, uh, Rhodey and I will go downstairs. You can stay here if you want." Tony took a stealthy deep breath in and out before reaching over to give Loki's shoulder a consoling squeeze. "It's fine; we'll just be a few minutes, okay?" Loki nodded tensely, and Tony turned back to Rhodes. "Shall we?" He gestured Rhodey to the stairwell that led to the workshop, and then followed his friend downstairs. The glass clouded a solid white as the door shut behind the two men, and Tony forced another steadying breath at being closed off and surely about to face more questions he couldn't answer. Better to get it over with it.

"So. Heard the aftermath of your talk with the Avengers." Rhodey started. "That went... not well."

"And here I was thinking that we made breakthroughs in understanding."

Rhodey smiled tightly. "I can understand why they're worried. Really, I can. If you're keeping a boyfriend this secret, what other things, big or small, might be hidden too, _but_ -" Rhodey stopped Tony when Tony opened his mouth to interject, "but, I know secrets don't work that way. And I know how you work. I know you hide things you don't need to because you're worried. And I know that no matter how much you bite back, you do it because you care easily and have your trust broken even easier. I have learned a thing or two about you in thirty years of best-friendship."

More than ever, Tony felt guilt eating at his chest for keeping this from Rhodey, but apprehension and fear still held back the confession. Losing Rhodey wasn't something Tony could withstand.

"I think you're saying more than the Avengers are hearing. You give me the chance, I can listen. When you're ready." When Tony only grimaced and didn't say anything, Rhodey continued. "In the mean time, there's more on the board than just a secret boyfriend and an so-called-obsessed demigod."

"Like what?"

His shoulders dropped in exasperation. "Like people trying to kill you? Forgotten about that?"

"Nope. Just forgot other people could remember it."

Rhodey frowned and took a seat on the stool across from Tony. "Yeah, I kind of wondered about that too. Instead they're over-focused on your _boyfriend_ because... God knows why. Because innocuous secrets are more important than figuring out who's made at least two noticeable attempts on your life?"

 _More than you know, but I can't tell you that either._ "They keep thinking Loki's responsible."

"It's not Loki's style."

" _Thank you_." Tony could have laughed in relief that someone else finally agreed with him about that, but it was a small victory in a dark hour. 

"Well, Loki's style is closer to _your_ style." Rhodey pinned Tony with a pointed but amused stare. "It's got to have a _signature_. And taking out an entire tower without making sure you're in it is not Loki's signature. Loki's detail-oriented, into chaos and mischief, not malice."

"Rhodey, I could kiss you right now." 

"Your boyfriend isn't into sharing." He dismissed casually and guided them back onto topic. "So the team is good with pegging Loki as a twice-failed assassin on methods that he wouldn't realistically touch. Not logical, but okay, fine, they want to have a name to the threat. I would still think that Loki would be a bigger concern for them than what your boyfriend's detailed history is from birth to every minute he's spent with you.

Tony heaved a shrug. "Maybe they think James has something to do with it too. A human accomplice with close access to my systems and convenient timing on the last two attempts. Would be nice and neat for them, everything all wrapped up, _and_ they'd be vindicated for wanting to know who's after me because _he was there all along_ , and I would have been the one to let him in."

"This isn't a superhero movie." Rhodey sounded genuinely annoyed by the idea. "Not everything is neatly connected the way they want to be."

"Doesn't mean they stop wanting. I just want to know who the real would-be assassin is." Tony sat heavily in a shop stool and spun around in it to face Rhodey. "And because everything is always more abstract, I don't even know where to start. I don't even know who to _trust._ "

"You can trust me."

Tony forced a smile he didn't feel. "I can always trust you."

A pregnant breath of silence. "And James."

Helplessly, Tony fidgeted slightly and very convincingly said: "Well, yeah, him too."

Rhodey stared. "He's not just your boyfriend, is he?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about-"

"Remember the part where I know you like the back of my own hand."

Yeah, and Tony remembered the part where he really didn't want to lie to Rhodey either. Because... because it was Rhodey. Which was also the same reason Tony couldn't tell the whole truth. "Look, because of the way James and I... got together, all I can say is that you and he are the only two people I can reliably consider as not out for my head. If anything, his actions have put me in safer places rather than putting me in the line of fire. Unfortunately, that still leaves every other goddamn person on the planet as a danger, so the Avengers will have to excuse me for not listening to their feeble ideas about who I need to look out for when my so-called team includes some of the people I _do_ feel like I have to watch for screwing me over."

Rhodey's feet shift where they rest on the bottom rung of the stool. "The Avengers aren't in the list of exceptions."

"That's a statement, not a question."

"You stated it." 

"Because it's not a question."

"But you're sure about James."

Pushing himself to his feet, Tony paced in frustration. "You're fishing for info on him too."

"No, I'm trying to make sure my friend is okay. James seems legit to me; or at least he seems to legitimately care for you. If you say he's clean, then I'll take your word for it unless proven otherwise. I've seen enough people hurt you over the years, and I'm not aiming to be another one. I'm just asking: are _you_ okay?"

Tony paused facing away from Rhodey, brain going a mile a second and everything getting scrambled up in static and uncertainty. Maybe... maybe Tony could try for a smidgen of honesty here. Where he could. He needed someone more than just Loki. Maybe he could gradually work Rhodey up to understanding and when everyone found out, Rhodey might come around eventually? If Tony started now?

"I close my eyes, and I see my friends coming after me like a witch hunt." He confessed as he slowly turned back around. "I open my eyes, and they're closing a cage door on me 'for my own good.' What am I supposed to do when reality is mirroring the nightmares?" 

There was a scuff of boots on the floor as Rhodey got to his feet. "Did you do something that would call for a witch hunt?" Not a demand, not a coercion, a free offer made out of a desire to help. It almost made things worse. 

"It's... complicated." 

"I have life experience in complicated." 

"I don’t want anyone hurt." 

There was a pregnant moment of silence. "Is his name really James?"

Shit. Should have phrased it better. But this was going to be about honesty, so Tony was going to be as honest as he could allow himself to be. "He made it his name. Does that count?" 

"And you're worried about the others finding out who he really is?"

"So much so that I've been having nightmares about it." 

Rhodey ducked his head for a moment, squaring his jaw in silent thought before looking to Tony again. "You know you can trust me with anything, right? Not just in general, but anything. At least let me listen."

"I don't want to lose you first. What if _you_ react how I think _they_ will? I can't lose you, Rhodey." 

"That big, huh?"

"That big." 

Despite the nod of understanding, Rhodey still looked frustrated at the evasion, and Tony couldn't blame him. He just couldn't bring himself to say it. "I'm going to be honest with you, Tony:" - sentences that started that way always ended well - "almost anyone will say you're reckless, impulsive, prone to flying by the seat of your pants, and changing course every five minutes. Your plan of attack is literally always to just attack. Generally, it makes you look pretty bad." 

"Thanks for the self-esteem check." 

"But most people don't know you." Rhodey amended. "They don't realize how much thought has already gone into every action. Just because something goes wrong, doesn't mean you weren't trying damn hard not to. Shit happens. And I know by the time you get serious about anything, especially people, more thought has gone into that single relationship than most people put into their whole lives. I know James is someone special, no matter who he is. Trust how well I know you." 

And Tony did trust that, which was why he was telling Rhodey even this much, but... it didn't help the terror of confessing.

Part of him just wanted it _over_ with already. Wanted to spill the beans to someone that would at least hesitate to permanently hurt him, where the worst possible outcome would be Jarvis calling Loki if it went wrong, and he and Loki could just... leave. Leave it all behind. Maybe it would be easier. Tony half-hoped it wouldn't go that badly, knew that Rhodey might understand more than others, but Tony had no confidence that Rhodey would take it well. 

Tony just wanted it _over_ as much as he didn't want to lose Rhodey. 

"You don't have to tell me right now." Rhodey consoled. "But just... can you consider the upsides of telling me instead of just the bad possibilities?"

"I'll... try." 

Frowning a bit, Rhodey nodded and made to walk out, but Tony's gut twisted in a knot, and he called out before Rhodey could reach the door. 

"Rhodey!" The soldier paused, and Tony's nerves stretched even more taut. "Hold up a minute." Rhodey started to face him again, and Tony automatically averted his eyes to save himself from seeing his friend's expression. _Spit it out_. "It's Loki." 

Silence, then: "Say again?"

Tony chanced a glance up at his friend's suspicious stare. "Loki. He's a shapeshifter. James is Loki."


	15. If I Spill My Guts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret is out, and Rhodey wants answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all think I was going to leave you on that cliffhanger for ages? Naahh. Not this time. :P I actually wrote both before even posted 14 just so that I wouldn't make y'all wait. Too long. This time. *whistles innocently and wanders off*

The moment after his confession didn't stretch out like a lifetime or seem like it was suspended outside of a linear existence; Tony barely had time to take a full breath in and out, before- " _Jesus_ , Tony-"

Tony readied himself for yelling and swearing, for insults and threats. His heart hammered behind his ribcage and beat the air from his lungs as he readied himself to be verbally torn apart and ridiculed and for demands that he stop. He readied himself for at least one solid punch to his face, but Rhodey just clenched a fist over his own mouth and paced back and forth in front of the door in stony silence for long moments.

"How long?" Rhodey's voice was surprisingly calmer than Tony had been bracing to hear.

"Since the night my tower was hit."

Rhodey turned on Tony. "That was _him_?!"

"No!" He raced to correct, and Rhodey eased slightly. "No, Loki got me out." Honesty. Go with honesty. Start from the start and confess the entirety of what he hadn't told to another living soul. Breath in and speak out. "I lied to SHIELD; I was here the whole time that night. I was stuck in my bedroom, my security system crippled, while someone was less than a minute away from putting a bullet in me." He saw it play back in his head like a bad movie - Tony stuck in the literal dark, the widening stripe of white from the assassin's tactical light as the door opened, Tony's chest tight as he prepared himself to fight with the little he had left- _no, it's done. Focus on the present._ "I don't know how he knew to show up then, but Loki appeared and got me out about twenty seconds before the assassin came through my door."

"Were you involved with him before that?"

"Not beyond fighting him same as the rest of the Avengers. There was... mutual respect from afar and battlefield trash talk but nothing more. When Loki got me out, he teleported me to some hotel room, kept me out of the way, and let me back onto the street just before Pepper got me on the phone. You know what happened after that, and I didn't see or talk to Loki again until the next time he showed up to bait the Avengers."

"Okay." Rhodey nodded again and paced a couple more steps thoughtfully before pausing with another question. "Okay, so it started then. The romance?"

"Came only recently and unexpectedly. We never... that was never in the playbook. It just happened."

"Kind of afraid to ask, but what about the sex?"

"Rhodes, I really don't think you actually want that answer beyond knowing it came some point after he saved my life here that night."

"Because-" Tony gave him a look that stopped Rhodey short. "Right." His eyes narrowed. "It was consensual, right?"

"Totally and completely from then to now." Sure, they played at calling it favors at first, and Loki may have persuaded a few times, but Loki only really made a move once Tony let him. "He never forced me to do anything I didn't allow, and he didn't threaten or blackmail me into agreeing. The only technically nonconsensual thing was the snatching in the first place, but I can forgive kidnapping when it saves me from getting murdered."

"Good. Okay." He settled into contemplative quiet for another moment. "And you're sure he's safe?"

"Safe?" Tony didn't mean to laugh, but it crowed out harshly against his will. "I'm not safe. _You're_ not safe. The only thing safe about Loki is that his- that _our_ interest isn't fake. I'm pretty well versed in faking it, and he isn't. Not about this. Too bad everything else is in shit."

"Ideal person in a not ideal situation."

"Got that fucking right." Tony grit out. "I've been trying to come up with a realistic happy ending, but I can't even _imagine_ one. We're all our own shades of gray, but the Avengers and SHIELD don't see that in Loki. They would never forgive me, and they would never let me go." He leveled a skeptical glance at his friend. "Will you?"

"I won't lie and say I'm okay, that's for sure. Nor do you need anyone to tell you what kind of shit you're in." Rhodey sighed and took a few steps forward. "But the world isn't as dark as we keep thinking. The number of people that are well and truly too far gone are few in number. I didn't miss the way Loki treats you." He admitted quietly. "And vice versa for you. It if helps your worries any, he looks like he adores you."

"That should help." And yet, it only made Tony's chest heavier. "Really doesn't though."

"Do you really trust him?"

"Outside of sex?"

Rhodey gave him a patient, mute look.

Tony sighed. "Yes. God help me, I do trust the shifty bastard."

"That's high praise there."

"It's _Loki_. And at the same time... not at all the Loki we thought we knew. And also exactly the Loki we thought we knew. He's got me turned all around, Rhodey."

"Do you love him?"

Tony instinctively flinched at that, a reflex from far too many times of falling too easily and getting nothing but pain for it. He hated the word. Hated saying it. Hated thinking it. And yet... and yet, Tony didn’t know anymore. The closer it got to "Well maybe yes" the more he questioned and second-guessed and almost hoped he could turn around and say " _no_ " with all surety because it would make things so much easier. He couldn't though. Couldn't say no, didn't want to say yes. His feelings still floated somewhere in the amorphous middle realm. But Rhodey was waiting for an answer with growing calculation in his eyes, and Tony had to give him something. "We don't say things like that."

Years and years of watching every twitch in his best friend's face let Tony notice the tiny upward turn to one corner of Rhodey's mouth. "Uh-huh." Another beat. "You're fucked nine ways from Sunday, aren't you?"

Tony's laugh was pained, and he shook when Rhodes grasped Tony's shoulder and pulled him into a solid, painfully comforting embrace, the sitting position putting Tony's forehead at Rhodey's collarbone. "What am I going to do?"

Rhodey held Tony in place with enough room to speak without hindrance. "What you always do: fight tooth and nail to get what you want. So what do you want?"

"My options are either the Avengers or Loki." He said into Rhodey's shirt. "Option A involves groveling and loses me Loki. Option B involves running."

"So you're fighting for option C that involves getting the Avengers to not see Loki as a villain so you can keep him. Might lose you the team at first but could possibly save you the criminal charges if you're persuasive enough."

"I know what I want. I can't solve how to get it."

The pair drew back to arm's length, and Rhodey's face was back into the smooth, military serious perfected decades ago and envied by Tony for just as long. Except Tony had learned years ago that Rhodey showed the emotions it in other ways here - in the way his eyes flicked from Tony's shoulders to his face, the way he moved too stiffly, the way his mouth was too tight. It wasn't the anger Tony expected when Rhodey brought him down here; it was concern. And suddenly the stress of confessing was worth it to know he still had a friend that wanted to help, even if Tony felt even more guilty for dragging Rhodey into the mess.

"For now," Rhodey patted Tony's shoulder, "keep it secret."

Thirty years and Rhodey could still shock the crap out of Tony. "You serious?"

"Very. Fix one problem at a time. Find out who's after you, let Loki help, and come to the whole... confession problem after. When they find out, I'll say I knew. They find it harder to argue with me."

"Probably because they think you're my voice of reason."

Rhodey made a rather undignified snort. "That's not very astute of them."

"And you know, I just can't find it in my heart to correct them."

"That's too bad for them." He grinned a slight thing. "Better for us."

Sitting here was all at once exhausting and relieving and leaving Tony at a complete loss for words. Rhodey knew everything, knew the big secret, and Tony hadn't lost his friend. If he had any confidence that the Avengers would be the same, Tony would have stormed upstairs and laid it all out just the same, but Rhodey was an exceptional exception with the patience of a saint and a heart much too good for Tony, and yet Rhodey still had a wicked vengeful streak five miles wide that certainly helped Tony feel more at home. For years, Rhodey had always been home, and it was why Tony had been all the more terrified to confess and lose Rhodey.

Instead, it felt like he'd gotten his friend back.

"You really think keeping it secret longer is going to help?"

"Telling them isn't going to improve things, that's for sure. Let's just make sure a few other bases are covered first, then we'll get back to the Avengers. Let me lead."

"I never let you lead."

"You will this time because I have experience with turning around expectations of assumed amoralists." He stated evenly, and Tony scoffed and pushed Rhodey back.

"Oh my god, you know how badly I handle these things, please don't make it worse by making me cry."

"Men cry."

"Everyone does. I don't like doing it regardless."

"Alright, alright." Rhodey shifted to lean his hips against the table at Tony's back, standing at Tony's side but not with the pressure of staring him in the face. "If anything changes in terms of... safety certainty, with Loki or the others, let me know. I've got your back, okay?"

"You'll be my first call." And this time, for Rhodey, he meant. "You get the memo, Jarvis?"

_"It's been added into my safety measures now."_

Tony gave Rhodey's arm a heavy pat. "You're a great friend, Rhodey."

"I give back what I've gotten since college."

"'Kay, we can stop the sharing now."

"Actually. I kind of have a request about that."

"That sounds like something I don't want."

"Probably not." Rhodey admitted outright, but took a breath and plowed on. "I want to talk to Loki. Face to face, no masks."

"Why would I not want that?"

"Because I want to talk to him alone."

"What, why?" Even with Rhodey, there was still a prickle of panic in Tony's chest at the idea of the two being alone and Loki being unmasked around Rhodey. It was equal amounts possessiveness and a need to protect Loki and the deep-seated paranoia that Tony couldn't shake.

"I trust you on this, Tony, but I need to trust Loki too." Rhodey explained. "I just want to talk to him. Later, if you'd prefer it, but I want to see who he is when you're not around and he's not playing at being someone else."

Unfortunately, Tony did understand that, but he just didn't want to subject Loki to it either. So the question became whether his trust in Rhodey was strong enough to allow Tony to let go of his overly protective tendencies to gain an ally.

Rhodey dug in further: "Let me see what you see in Loki."

"If you see everything I see in Loki, I would be concerned for our friendship in all new ways."

"I'm not into alien demigods or interplanetary antagonists." He said, deadpan. "You can be assured of that."

"Didn't think I would be either. Loki has a certain charm that grows on you."

"Like a fungus?" He suggested.

"More like a sunburn. Get overexposed to the brilliance, and it just leaves you hot all over."

"And that will do it for the metaphors." Rhodey physically turned away from the subject. "I'm not saying let me at him right now," he turned back to the topic, much to Tony's chagrin, "but I do want to talk to him without you warning him beforehand. I don't want a prepared speech from a silvertongued god, I just want a chat with the guy dating my best friend."

"You want to ambush him."

"I want to see him in the moment." He corrected, but it was really the same difference. "Will you let me?"

Tony really wanted to say no and spare Loki another stressful surprise, but refusing Rhodey wasn't going to do Tony and Loki any favors. This was a chance to have someone on their side, and they couldn't wreck it.

" _Fine._ Go now before I change my mind."

"Right now?"

"Right now. Get there before I decide to have Jarvis warn Loki."

"Five minutes with him, and then you can crash the party, alright?" Rhodey was already backing up with haste, not taking the idle threat for granted. "I'll play nice with your boyfriend."

"You don't know how to play nice!"

"Neither do you, and neither does he. We should get along fine." He gave a salute just as he turned and took the steps two at a time, and Tony sat back down on his stool quietly.

For about four seconds.

"Jarvis?"

_"Sir?"_

"Don't warn Loki. Bring up the surveillance for whatever space Loki is in right now. I want to keep an eye on things."

_"As you wish, sir."_

**xXx**

It was a cliché: looking at something familiar with new eyes. Eyes weren't new, and sight had nothing to do with a change in opinion.

Rhodey hated the phrase, and yet here he was, looking at James- at _Loki_ appearing as James always had, and Rhodey couldn't see the demigod the same way.

Remarkably, Rhodey and Loki had never truly faced each other on the field before; they were occasionally involved in the same fight, but they'd never personally fought one another. What Rhodey had seen was hundreds of surveillance shots, too many verbal recountings to count, and a dossier that was under constant update the more Loki did and exposed. It was enough to create a well-backed opinion on the demigod's public persona of a mad god hell bent his insane methods of utilizing chaos as a distraction to achieve what was usually a less-violent objective of thievery or slightly-more-violent personal revenge feats. There had even been a half dozen or so times in the years since Loki's return to earth, that goals temporarily aligned between the Avengers and the chaos god, and they found themselves fighting for the same thing. As soon as they got what they wanted or defeated their common enemy, they were back at odds, and despite strict measures to prevent it, Loki always managed to snatch something extra while allowed inside the Avengers' or SHIELD quarters. He was a predictable element only in that he couldn't be properly anticipated, tied down, or kept under wraps, and Loki flaunted that mantle with pride.

That was the Loki that Rhodey knew, and he'd assumed Tony kept the same opinion, or at least seemed to, going off of the way Tony talked about Loki in the past. Then again, maybe from the beginning, Tony had seen their similarities same as Rhodey had. Admittedly, Tony had always treated Loki differently than the Avengers did, and he never hid that he did, but how that treatment became an affair was beyond Rhodey's imagination. He didn't know _how_ , but he understood that it worked. For all Rhodey had judgments of the demigod based on experience and the stories of trusted friends, he had judgments of James based on what Rhodey personally saw and interacted with, and the two opinions were vastly different. The conflict between the two was what was making Rhodey dizzy.

Yet...

Yet, Rhodey knew what it was like to have to keep a public face, and how different a private face could be. He'd seen Tony fight and become resigned to multiple ones of his own for thirty years. The things that were important about what Rhodey saw in James were the things Rhodey could see hints of hidden in Loki as well. Rhodey just had to trust that the public face, not the private one, was the act. And trust was always easier with verification. It was time to verify which of Loki's masks was a self-portrait and which was a costume.

Hiding in plain sight, Loki was incognito in Tony's kitchen, wearing a face no one would suspect as a centuries old demigod, and brewing a pot of something that smelled sharply of cloves and cinnamon from across the room. To see Loki in disguise this way - dressed in loose clothes fit for comfort and mobility, his shoulders curving down with little tension, no armor creating a powerful but unreal silhouette - was disarming to observe. Rhodey could look and know James was Loki under a magic facade of some kind; Rhodey knew well that Loki was still dangerous, but Loki looked so... at home here. At home in Tony's home.

"Good evening again, Colonel." Loki pulled a small smile and continued with his tea. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, uh, Tony will be up in a few minutes."

The god nodded, but then backtracked at the look Rhodey was affixing him with. "Something interesting?" Loki questioned lightly and glanced from the pot back to Rhodey. "Some tea, perhaps? There's enough for two, if you'd like."

"Thanks, but no." He declined politely and hesitated before - "Actually, if you have a few minutes, I'd like to talk to you."

"Me?" There was a flicker of apprehension in dark eyes, but Loki blinked and vanished it. "Alright. Anything particular on your mind?"

"You."

It took several blinks to dispel the fear this time before Loki smiled tightly and gestured to the stool on the other side of the kitchen counter. What had been ease in his body language had quickly ratcheted up to a stick straight spine and squared shoulders, his chest visibly heaving slightly faster. "Have a seat then. It sounds as if this will be a longer discussion than a few minutes."

"Depends on the answers, Loki."

For a second, Loki appeared to stop breathing altogether. "I don't-"

 _"Master Tony just informed Colonel Rhodes of the situation, sir."_ Jarvis explained and quickly added: _"The secret was volunteered willingly and to no reprimanding action."_ to soothe the moment's panic in Loki's sharp intake of breath and the concern in his face. Even master liars couldn't act that quickly. Instinctive concern for Tony's wellbeing. That was a good sign, at least.

Loki looked back to Rhodey sharply, jaw clenched, and for all appearances, every ounce of real emotion on a fake face. "Then I don't see what the question would be." Loki bit out. He jerkily returned to the tea pot, and Rhodey recognized the attempt to hide shaking hands with a busy task. Unfortunately for Loki, handling ceramics and metal with a tremble was not covert. Realizing this himself within seconds, Loki pushed the pot away and crossed his arms.

"We should talk. Face to face, without any interference or masks." When Loki's expression soured at the last part, Rhodey pushed. "I want to trust you-"

"Everyone always does _want_." Loki spat. "They rarely do in the end, regardless of what I say."

"But I'm looking for different answers than everyone else does. So can I talk to your real face or am I going to talk to the face of the person pretending to be my friend's boyfriend?"

Loki grimaced, but in the blink of an eye, a string of gold washed over him from the crown of his head down, and exposed Loki in the same clothes that James wore a second earlier. He didn't say a thing, just stared back at Rhodey and awaited the interrogations.

So Rhodey didn't beat around the bush and went straight to business. "The question is what did you want from Tony?"

Loki's eyes rolled skywards, and his shoulders slumped in exasperation. "All you silly boys wanting truth from a liar." He snapped. "Why do you think a blunt question will receive an honest answer? Do you think the right words will force me to speak the truth like a spell?"

"You're not cursed to be liar constantly; your danger as a wordsmith is because you do tell the truth when it suits you. I think it would suit you now."

Loki stared with more defiance this time, but managed to tamp his voice into a neutral toned: "Thank you for the advice."

"Listen, I've seen all kind of people use and abuse Tony in the years I've known him. I can't protect him every time, but I'm not going to sit idle and let it happen without a hitch. I'll do almost anything to make sure my friend is safe from someone else he trusted hurting him again."

Loki remained silent, but Rhodey's point appeared to have made an impression. "You don't trust me," Loki stated, "why ask such things you don't know will be answered truthfully?"

"I like to think I'm not half bad at reading people. Even good actors have certain tells."

"Please," Loki said flatly, "do tell me my secrets."

"The best actors pull from their heart."

His anger fractured, Loki's brow furrowed in confusion, and his head listed to one side. "What?"

"I mean not every emotion is an act. When everyone assumes you're lying, it's a lot easier to show real emotions when you know people won't believe them. Maybe you were honest because you thought it wouldn't be trusted anyway, and it's a lot easier to laugh it off and lie about lying later. But you didn't have to. Because Tony started to feeling something more too."

Loki's eyes skated away for a moment in a very telling reaction but they inevitably tracked back to Rhodey. The irritation had passed, but the judging, skeptical, narrow-eyed stare hadn't dissipated. "I was not blind to Tony's past reputation." Which Rhodey was hearing as '"I heard he was an easy lay," and Rhodey felt defensive on Tony's behalf already. Then Loki continued: "The likelihood that he would be interested in... more, as you call it, was very slim. I thought it safe. Obviously, I was wrong."

"Now you're in too deep."

"And with no satisfactory exits." He scoffed and placed his hands palms down on the counter with mechanical calmness. "If you read all that so easily, why bother to ask your first question?"

"Because I wasn't asking what you want from Tony now; I was asking what you wanted in the past. Why you started it. For all Tony's gutsy risk-taking, I don't think he would have started the affair without an offer being on the table first."

"What I wanted in the past has no bearing on what I want now. Once, long ago, I intended to destroy an entire planet if it meant earning the affection and acceptance of a father figure."

"That shows loyalty to me."

Loki's eyes tracked back to look for the insinuation, and apparently seeing it for the light joke it was, he allowed himself a small smile. "I can see why you've been Tony's friend for so long."

"He's my best friend too. Not just the other way 'round."

"He has a gift of inspiring loyalty in others."

"Not as often as it seems from inside his circle. Outside us? Tony's name and company and money have been used for someone else's benefit all his life. When I met him, he was already prickly and standoffish to anyone that tried to get closer. He was only fifteen, and he was already bitter and cynical about the world. He's had armor up around himself long before he created the Iron Man suit. He's not the easiest friend to have, but I wouldn't trade him for anything else in this world or any other galaxy. I'd do anything to protect him."

"Ah, this is the infamous 'shovel talk' then."

"This isn't the shovel talk. It's not easy to gain his trust and loyalty anymore, and while I don't want to assume he's made a mistake, I also want to be there to support him if it was. I'm not blind enough to keep toeing the line, but I know when to pick a battle and timings too. Something a lot bigger is coming for Tony, and frankly, I like to know he's got an immortal demigod sorcerer watching his back too. Won't help me sleep any better at night when there's still even one faceless someone out there, but it's something to quell the voices in my head a bit more."

"Was that a roundabout way of saying you trust me with him?" Poor guy didn't just look confused; he looked downright suspicious. "I'd believe death threats more." He said, and Rhodey read the painful honesty in that statement too.

"This has been the 'I know who you are' talk and saying that..." He could hardly believe he was thinking it, let alone saying it, "saying that I'm okay with it. You're unexpectedly good for him. And I suspect he is for you too."

"I have no want to admit to that last part." Loki said, deadpan and serious. And Rhodey heard the echo from Tony ( _"we don't say those things"_ ) and realized that the couple really didn't talk or think about it by concerted choice as well as feelings being in a hazy middle ground at the time. Affection was quick to grow, but love in a situation like theirs? It was easier to fight it than allow it, and Tony and Loki both seemed to be treating such feelings like another enemy. 

"So did you want more from the start with him? Or was it a one-off thing that once you had him, you wanted another night in his bed?"

"You make it sound so callous." Loki's lip curled in distaste. "I did not begin it with any intentions or awareness that it would progress to _something_ at all. Why would I? It would only ever end up here: with someone or everyone finding out, and Tony stuck in the middle of his friends and his lover. Meanwhile, I would be considered all the more evil for persuading him into my bed, regardless of my feelings, and we both would be labeled as weak. I never wanted that."

"Would you go back and choose otherwise if you could?"

Loki looked off into a middle distance somewhere to the right, mute with thought for long moments. "No. For all the stress it's brought us, with Tony, I feel... something I haven't felt so purely since I was much younger. Some moments, I dare to call it happiness." Impossibly deep eyes flicked back to Rhodey's. "Do you know how long it's been since I can credit someone with allowing me that? Since I've trusted someone enough to allow _myself_ that?"

"From how tired you look? A long time." Rhodey readjusted quickly. "Actually, make that a very long time. I'm shocked you're still on your feet."

"I've learned how to stay standing through many things. A useful skill, but not very healthy."

"I know it well myself. So does Tony."

"Sometimes I see him hanging on a thread and still upright." Loki glanced to the stairway. "His strength constantly surprises me."

"And this is where the shovel talk does come into play."

Amusement re-entered Loki's eyes as he looked back to Rhodey and nodded as if letting him continue with threats.

"You know how fragile this situation is and how paranoid Tony is. If this is all a really good act after all, and you hurt him? If you break his already very fragile trust? I don't care if you're an immortal sorcerer, I'll find a way to make you hurt."

Oddly enough, Loki seemed more relaxed with that part of the conversation than he had since Rhodey started. Yet, seeing what Rhodey had over the past few minutes, perhaps it wasn't so odd after all. "A noble goal, though unneeded. I have no want to hurt Tony in any way detrimental to his health and safety." And Rhodey noticed the careful wording there too. Then he conveniently remembered Romanoff surmising Tony's boyfriend to be a dom. _Bad brain, don't do that._

"Good to know." Rhodey willed himself to not think about certain aspects of his friend's relationship. "Then we won't have any problems with each other."

"That would be a pleasant turn of events."

"Jarvis, let Tony know he can come up now. If he hasn't been watching already."

_"I would not betray Mr. Stark's trust by tattling."_

Considering Rhodey could already hear Tony's feet on the stairs though, and Jarvis wouldn't have been able to relay the message that quickly, the timing was enough of an answer. Tony always found a way around things he didn't like; Rhodey learned that pretty quickly after befriending Tony so many ages ago.

Tony paused at the top of the stairway with a glance between the two before ultimately aiming to join Loki on his side of the counter and touch a hand to his waist in tentative comfort.

"You okay?"

"Fine." Loki said stiffly with a glance at and quickly away from Tony, and Tony frowned and withdrew his hand.

"Sorry for the blindside." He tried.

"We'll talk about that later." And Loki's tone didn't hide that there _would_ be a talk that Tony likely wouldn't enjoy.

"It was my idea." Rhodey confessed. "I convinced him into letting me talk to you without preparing you first. Sorry, I wanted to see your real first reactions."

"I understand." Loki said with a sure nod before looking out the corner of his eye at Tony again. "However, I am - regardless of the reason - put off by the ambush." Even Tony looked suitably chastised and regretful, but he stayed quiet. Loki turned to Rhodey. "Well, colonel, now you're in on the secret, what will you do with it?"

"Why should I do anything with it?"

There was that familiar look again that Loki's mad god persona had been seen pulling many times before: a twitch to narrowed eyes and a curious head tilt like he didn't think he was hearing or seeing correctly.

"I guess I could use it to put together a real plan for finding out who's after Tony. Kind of surprised you haven't been already."

"I've been assisting in the defensive." Loki said carefully.

"We've been building something." Tony brought up. "Expanding on the idea of a field generator, but with some... extras."

"And since Loki is helping, I doubt this generator is based purely on practices within the confines of human science?"

"Your doubt has basis." Tony agreed.

"How are the Avengers going to like that?"

"If they want to argue over a defensive measure, then I'll gladly confiscate all the defensive things I've provided for _them_ and see what they have to say about me protecting myself afterwards."

"Yeah. This is all going to go _great._ "

"Look, if you didn't know James is Loki, if you found out I was making a field generator that produced a field using magic instead of science, what would you think?"

"Probably that this is not the first time you researched magic."

"Hell no, it's not. I didn't come up with a highly weaponized, flying suit of armor off the top of my head; I had the idea in my head for years before Afghanistan. I just didn't have a need for bringing it to life yet. Same with the field generator. I had a reason for the Mark 1 Iron Man suit, and I have a reason for the field generator."

"Okay, I believe you. I'll even back you with the Avengers. But you can't just build a defense and not know who's going to hit the shield you're making. What are we going to do about finding attempted murderers before they try to kill you again?

"I'm setting Jarvis on hunting down some trails. There's got to be something out there that leads to them. This is something bigger than just one person, and the bigger the group, the stronger the force, and the more potential for leaving prints. Just gotta find 'em."

"I can talk to the Avengers and get their ideas." Rhodey volunteered. "See if they have anything decent to run with"

"And I'll explore the less reputable parts of the world." Loki offered. "Should be fun. I'm sure there are a few things, both intangible and solid, circulating down there that I can help myself to pilfering." 

"That won't hurt your own rep or something?" Tony questioned, completely ignoring the mentions of thievery. "Asking about who's after me?"

"I would not be the first one to have so personal a vendetta as to deliver a hands off notice through the channels. There are a number out on several other Avengers, in point of fact."

Tony slumped. "I'm offended. No villains have a vendetta against me? I have plenty of reasons for people to come after me."

"Yes, and the ones that do have all been captured or killed because they foolishly tried to take you down by themselves. Intelligence negates the ability to begrudge the great Tony Stark."

"Now that's better."

"I thought you might like that. Still, if anyone has released anything suspicious that could be related, I will see what I do to track it to the source. Villains do love to talk; perhaps I can catch something secondhand."

"It pays to have a boyfriend with deep, dark connections." Somehow, Tony looked _proud_ of it, and Rhodey was concerned for a brief moment until he saw Loki's amused smirk and recognized the tease for what it was.

"I know I didn't approach you the best way," Rhodey admitted, and Loki did that startled double-take again, "but I wasn't lying when I said I feel better knowing I'm not the only one looking out for Tony."

Loki finally cracked what seemed to be a more genuine smile. "As am I. True friends are such a rarity; I'm glad someone can be entrusted with our secret without our having to fear the repercussions."

Against his conscious will, Rhodey felt a small upward pull at one corner of his mouth. He couldn't be blamed for feeling flattered though; Loki was supposed to be a silvertongue, and charming was part of the game. 

But this was no game. Lives - Tony's life in particular - hinged on the truth of Loki's reciprocation, so Rhodey had to fight his instinct to mistrust Loki's sweeter words if he was going to trust Loki with Tony's life. 

"Thank for letting me in." He directed to Tony, and a tired half-smile flickered briefly on Tony's face. 

"If it was going to be anyone, it would be you. Probably should have realized that earlier." 

"You might not have been able to convince me earlier." Rhodey reasoned, and again Tony looked like the weight of a thousand burdens was on his shoulders and written on his face. "But we made it here, and I've got your back."

"That makes exactly two of you now. Good thing you two are the best."

"We are the company we keep." Loki said almost like an echo, and Tony grinned and gave Loki a private look. 

"I told you I know how to pick 'em." 

"Dangerously skilled and fiercely loyal, yes, I think you do."

"Well, it's time to put both of those traits to use," Rhodey cut in, "and I better get started on my side. I interrupted you two earlier anyway-"

"Good friends can interrupt stressing over bad friends." Tony assured. 

"Still, I think it's enough serious talk for the night." 

"That I will agree on." Loki said. 

"Thanks for listening, Rhodes." Tony said soberly, and Rhodey stepped forward to put a hand on each of their shoulders. 

"It's what friends do. You also owe me a copy of that field generator when you get it up and running."

"Square deal." Tony agreed freely and gave Rhodey's shoulder a hearty return smack before Rhodey started for the elevator.

"Be good to him, Loki." 

"Freely and gladly." Loki nodded. 

And as the elevator doors closed Rhodey off and he caught a glimpse of Loki leaning in to brush a comforting kiss to Tony's temple, Rhodey actually believed it. 

James was not what Rhodey had come to talk about, nor were any of the evening's surprises anticipated, but Rhodey did feel a disconcerting sense of relief knowing the truth. Relief paired with blinding anxiety at the idea of the secret getting out to anyone else, yes, but they would weather it, because there wasn't another option. However their mess of a relationship came to be, it was working, and it might have been surreal, but it was _real._ Despite the leaps of faith Rhodey was taking one after the other to defy his common sense, in his gut, it felt frighteningly right. Where the Avengers had fallen short, Loki stepped up. In it's own way, that part was the most worrying, but the board was already set, and they couldn't stop the movement.

All Rhodey could do was make sure he was there to pick up the pieces if it broke.


End file.
